Relationship advice what do i do?

Question

I am 19 turning 20 on the 24th this month, I am married 6 monthes.

I have been with my wife for about 4 1/2 to 5 years. I didnt have alot of friends when we started dating and about 1 year ago I started going to alot of parties and ended up cheating 3 times. We made up and got married anyways, everytime I tryed to leave her she wouldn't go.

Now I dont know what I should do I could stay with her and have a happy life or try to find another girl and leave her but then I would feel really bad about it not to mention the shame from my family and her family and my friends. Even my family would be ashamed.

Then I would also take the risk of never finding a women like her ever again.

I also have to say I dont know what I would do without her she puts direction in my life. I am afraid without her I would end up a bum on the street.

Answer 1

Well then you need to go get some help. You say that she makes you happy and you dont want to leave her.. then why are you thinking about leaving her? Obviously shes not making you happy.

Answer 2

I also got married at 19, and was divorced by 22, it's the old saying "marry in haste, repent at leisure" 19 is way too you speaking from personal experience. You have been with this girl a long time which is why you feel you don't know what you would do without her. But people change so much between the ages of 19 and 25, so you may want totally different things when you reach that age. You have 2 options, stay and stop moaning about it, put all your effort into making the relationship work, OR leave and take a chance on a different future, scary, but it could be good, or it could be bad.

Answer 3

Cheating is toxic to a relationship and is a huge indicator of what you want. If you truly loved your wife, your answer would be clear. You would have never cheated over and over again in the first place if you were happy with her and the relationship. Chances are you will not find many women like her; most women would have left you so fast the first time you cheated. The main thing you seem afraid of is being alone, but at this point it would be best for both parties if you went your seperate ways or made a huge change and went to couples therapy to sort your issues.

Answer 4

um wow it sounds like you are way too dependent on your wife emotionally " she puts direction in my life" thats pathetic you are your own person and you need to take responsibility of your own life. ask yourself one question- are you happy? having cheated on her 3 times i highly doubt that you are satisfied with the relationship. cheating = no trust. no trust = no solid relationship. i think you made a major mistake being with her for 5 years then getting married. you are too young to be getting married and at your age you should be exploring other people (not just having sex) and living your life! you've basically been with her since you were a child! not good..i do believe that we are compatible with multiple people but must eventually choose one. im not saying you dont love her, but you are obviously lacking something if you cheated three times! she should have left you if she had any self esteem or dignity. you need to make that choice and end this relationship - who cares about the shame of your family. if they really love you eventually they'll see that breaking up was the best thing for you at that time. who knows - maybe you will end up together in the end. but how do you know if shes "the one" if you dont go out there and explore other relationships! you never know the right girl could be right in front of you or waiting for you out there somewhere!! ( that sounds incredibly cheesy lol) im 17 by the way ( i know right...words of wisdom from a 17 yr old ha ha)

Answer 5

You have to find the answer in yourself. I've been with my girl 3 years now and without her who knows where i'ld be. I now own a house, a nice car, and have paid off all my debts. Not to mention quit using drugs and smoking. And all of this because she wouldn't give up on me. So there isn't a person on this Earth who could make me cheat or leave this woman. And that's what you have to figure out. Is a little bit of something else worth giving up everything you have?????

Answer 6

Personally I think you are way to young to be married. You only get to be young once and you should enjoy your youth as much as possible. However it sounds like you absolutly adore and love your wife. So if you are happy with her and are scared to lose her then theres no reason why you two shouldnt make it work. You can always find ways of enjoying your youth together with her. Remember life isnt about quantity its about QUALITY. So stay focused and have fun!!! All of the best!

Answer 7

you must definitely read the posts here, what u should do...
Everyone is in search of some answer or the other. I have recently come across a beautiful blog and the author seems to be a very noble soul. Understand his philosophies and u will get all the answer. Here is what you must read.

http://www.achieverslounge.blogspot.com/


the 2 posts are:

trusting sombody may be hazardous to your well being

Infidelity: Victims and inflictors

Answer 8

People change. What you expect out of life and marriage changes a lot between 18 and 25.
The odds are not in your favor for a long marriage.
Make it a little easier and practice birth control.
Good luck I hope you can beat the odds.

Answer 9

I'd say you're a jerk.... Shouldn't have gotten married that young.. and you shouldn't have cheated! Poor girl, Divorce her, god you'de be doing her a favour, you're not a man, youre a little boy with a penis for a brain.
Grow up!

Answer 10

it almost sounds like you have your mind made up about your wife. you really started young and have yet to experience other people and things. i rather you go and spread your wings out there then to 'settle' for something because youre afraid of what people would say about you. it is really a tough choice. good luck!