I'm married and my husband on New Years Day decided after a family lunch to go and watch the basketball instead of hanging out with me like I asked him to do because the next day he was going to go to the cricket and the day after that he was going to start work again. It really annoyed me that he chose this over me. I'm on holidays now but it was really the only time that we would have been able to actually get to spend some quality time together. I have been cross with him for 4 days, I have told him how I felt and he doesn't say anything he just stays out of my way which annoys me more. However, he can't really say anything to make me feel better. He has done this in the past too many times. How can I make myself feel better, cause he is doing a crap job of it.
2007-01-03 21:11:27 · 7 answers · asked by Bebe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
After reading what I wrote it may seem like I'm really clinging and need him to be by my side every five minutes but the truth of it is, that we rarely do things together at all I just thought it would be nice to spend some time together before he goes back to work.
2007-01-03 21:22:04 · update #1
You can make yourself feel better by finding activities you can do and enjoy without him having to be there all the time. What do you like? What interests you? Men hate to be smothered and like it or not, you will just chase him further away by smothering him and demanding his attention. But he wont be able to stand it if you have activities that you dont beg him to go with you to and then he will start wanting to go with you more. It is kind of a reverse psychology, but it works with men like that. good luck
2007-01-03 21:18:21 · answer #1 · answered by bambi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must be the luckiest girl in the world as my hubby likes me to be involved in everything he does, and if I'm not available to be with him he won't do it at all. However he is quite happy for me to have coffee with my friends. It's called trust. He's always treated me as no.1 and vice-versa and we both know how rare that can be.
I feel if you don't get much time together that he should make more effort to be with you, but if he is avoiding you in other ways I would be a little suspicious. Maybe it's time to sit down with each other and talk about your needs and come to some sort of compromise or seek hep. Good Luck.
2007-01-05 06:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by Vera K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you be you, establish boundaries, you are right to let him know how you feel and him avoiding you shows he knows what he is doing. I don't know how long you have been married, but the neglect (yeah neglect) is very apparent. If it is not how you want to be treated, again, always let him know and when you really have had enough of the second best routine, which only you will know when you have had enough, things will change. God Bless.
2007-01-04 05:17:15 · answer #3 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he did do lunch with you but i see your problem is he does alot without you where you invited to the basketball and cricket or invite yourself or is he going out with the boys if its the boys are they married or single if they are single he needs to choose between being married or being single its called growing up You only get treated the way you want to be treated start going out with your girlfriends and enjoy yourself when he comes home toan empty house watch his reaction or he could be having an affair 4 days is too long to be sulking show him it doesnt bother u maybe get counselling to get it all out in open
2007-01-05 19:01:56 · answer #4 · answered by ariesfunram 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is, his character itself is like that. Not that he is NOT caring, or being concerned.
Might be he's not able to express or something is hindering him from doing that - like the idea of being submissive.
Anyway, tell him that you love him really very much and that you never expected this sorta behaviour from him. Tell him politely and he'll come to know of his mistake soon.
2007-01-04 05:58:55 · answer #5 · answered by chandru_89_new 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what I have to say him is just have faith him...
But that doesn't mean you should have blind faith.... If you feel he is cheating on you just keep and eye on him too...
As far as boredom goes, it can be killing... try to avoid getting it.. Make friends online.. try out with books.. painting.. stitching..!!!
As far as personal satisfaction... well... i wont be the best person to judge... You have too...!!
2007-01-04 05:31:39 · answer #6 · answered by Bindass Hyderabadi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him you want to seek marriage counseling to try and make this marriage work before someone saids or does something they might regret.
2007-01-04 06:34:24 · answer #7 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋