Me and this friend used to be close, but physical distance and time has made us go from best friends to friends. (not even good friends) She is doing some crazy stuff and I know she's going to regret it later (i.e: drugs, etc). I don't wan't to sound like her parent by telling her what she should or shouldn't do. I feel that our distance is really getting in the way of me helping her. What should I do?
2007-01-03 21:03:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
homeward07,
I don't want to wait until she's physically addicted and is in and out of rehab, in trouble with the law and stuff to help her.
I think all of this could be avoided if she stopped now. But we're not that tight anymore.
2007-01-03 21:09:30 · update #1
There isnt a whole lot you can do especially since your not best friends anymore or even good friends. You could try telling her your concerned about her and what shes doing but unless she wants your help you cant do a thing.
2007-01-03 21:05:20 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek to be in the place that was a comfort zone for you when you were friends and be the friend that you always will be whether she wants it or not. If you can't do it face to face, write a letter, send an e-mail, but do not - not do anything, it will lay on your conscience for many days to come. The distance that you feel has nothing to do with you or your friendship, it is the drugs. Your friend knows that you do not approve of this lifestyle and that it isn't what you want from or in your life and more than likely she is embarrassed that she was so vulnerable. As you get older there will be many people who will come and go in your life, and when you know you have done the best you can do, give it to God, it will be alright.
2007-01-04 05:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sadly..if distance is an issue for you...the best thing to do...is perhaps speak with her/write her a letter and explain how you would like to help ...but for whatever you are sorry but you cannot help her because of such and such a reason.
Your friends drug taking was her decision and it will be her decision to try and seek help to sort herself out...there is nothing that you can do for her except stand by her side....keep in touch...etc etc.
Wish her well with her efforts...support her...but take a backward stand.
She will understand that distance is a problem...so dont worry yourself silly about it.
2007-01-04 05:10:38 · answer #3 · answered by harrrisfamily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the exact same problem with a friend of mine. We met in grade 3. So knew each other a long time. I moved quite far away but kept in touch somewhat regularly. When I went home for a visit I checked in on her...She was/is a mess. It is both hard and sad to me that she has CHOSEN the life she has for herself. I haven't spoken with her in quite sometime but will be here for her when SHE is ready. You can't change anyone and "help" is a two way street.
2007-01-04 05:11:19 · answer #4 · answered by MotherMayI? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Phone her, email her, write her a letter, whatever you have to do. And by the way, sometimes a friend has to sound like a parent, if the other friend is acting like an irresponsible child.
2007-01-04 05:05:21 · answer #5 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't matter if u sound lyke a parent, tell her through wuts best for u, but if she says ur lyke a parent etc, thensay that since u guys were once best friends u luv her lyke a sis and dat u want the best for her as a friend. and in that case it means for you to understand that w/e she is doing is harming her so she should try to stop~
2007-01-04 05:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by SmilE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First pray about it.2nd,win her back 1st by making a way to contact her(email,etc.),then when your line of communication becomes better,
just show you can be trusted and that you care for her.You don't have to talk to her against drugs or any crazy stuff, she knows already it's bad.But show her alternatives that can help.Give her an enlightening or inspiring
book(s) and/or cd.Or introduce her to interesting hobbies according to her likes(photography,cooking,exercise,etc).
You know just be there for her.
2007-01-04 05:17:07 · answer #7 · answered by ranya j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A true friend has to become anything at times to help him/her. Your thinking that you will become her parent if you advise her is not proper. Distance has nohing to do with friendship. In fact, sometimes friendship is more strong in long distance.
2007-01-04 05:08:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
intervention or something of that nature.... but in all honesty no matter what u say or do shes gunna do what she wants to do!!!!! you just need to let her know that you are very worried about her and that you care deeply about her and that if she ever needs to talk about ANYTHING that you are there for her..... Dont bail as a friend cause shes not doing what you want her to do... true friends stick by even when one of em if off doing not so smart things
best of luck
2007-01-04 05:23:14 · answer #9 · answered by jingles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only utter foolishness suffices to correct an idiot. Let her be. Time and a few cops will help her to see the straight and narrow path we all eventually choose.
2007-01-04 05:04:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋