My ex has manipulated my daughter into making accusations that are baseless acusation against me. She has had two years of deriding me to my daughter and I have had no contact. I will likely win in court (as my ex has repeatedly violated the orders of the court) but the damage to my daughter is my concern. Does anyone have a suggestion for first Proving the manipulation, and second repairing the damage to my child.
2007-01-03 20:38:12 · 11 answers · asked by opie with an attitude 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am thinking that the best approach is to ask the court to order an evaluation by a psychologist without direct contact with either myself or my ex. The reports will be submitted to the court and our respective attorneys (I have one but my ex does not) My hope is in this way the truth will be revealed, and perhaps the healing will begin.
2007-01-03 21:17:22 · update #1
If I were you, I would keep a diary on actual paper, detailing your thoughts, hopes, etc for your child. If you send registered letters to her once a week, you will be able to prove that they were received or returned to you. Eventually your child will be away from the bad influences, and start to question what's going on. Also, if you are able, set up some kind of trust or savings account for her, so at least she will know that you were thinking of her future. I wouldn't tell anybody about the account except for your lawyer, and maybe the executor of your will. It sounds like the mom might try to get her hands on it and that could turn out ugly. Try to contact the mom and see if she will agree to visitation in a neutral place. Send her a registered letter, so you will have a record. Also, make copies of any correspondence sent or received about the whole matter. I know this may sound exteme, but it's better to have ammunition and not use it, that to need it and have none. Also, one day your daughter will probably come around, and she will see the truth.
2007-01-03 21:27:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
May your assumption prove right, you'll certainly find that your ex- has also heavily invested in turning your former environment (family, friends, buddies, etc.) against you. And succeeded. Your daughter is by now probably not only under her mother's influence, but also finds reinforcements in the mother-daughter surroundings. That's life, and you can't do a thing about that, 'cuz outsiders hate to be taken at fault in taking sides towards a divorce. You might find some unexpected help though, touring your former friends, provided they kept their own judgment in the process (seldom happens, but who knows?).
I agree that you could take advantage in recording some verbal mistake coming form her, provided your ex- is not too shrewd to fall in the trap.
As for your daughter, I should recommend you be patient and wait for her to overcome her qualms about you. Most people don't realize really how smarter than we think children are. There will be a time when the naturally occurring mother-daughter competition will prevail, and you can reap the results of your efforts. If you're a good father, your child will eventually know it, maybe sooner than you can expect it.
2007-01-03 20:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if the child is making accusations that is the proof. As far as "repairing" the child. Give it time. The great thing about the human mind is the ability to form ones own opinion. So just take what she is accusing you of and show her that it is false. In time the child will see that what was said is wrong and then go from there.
2007-01-03 20:43:13 · answer #3 · answered by miliardo_by_moonlight 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Play dumb and speak as little as possible to the accusations. Your job as a parent goes to making the relationship between you and your daughter as healthy and as happy as you possibly can, while nourishing her emotional and physical well being. If you attempt to counteract the statements made about you in your absence, the only thing you are guaranteed to do is make yourself look guilty and have her question why you weren't there to offset the angry woman feeding her the hate. Good luck pal, this has gone on between divorced men and women for so long, I can't ever imagine an end to it, unless we abolish the institution of marriage!
2007-01-03 20:48:24 · answer #4 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to you divorce lawyer about this development immediately. Your lawyer may know a credible child psychologists in your area that could help you out. The best way to help out your daughter right now is to use the system against your ex.
Good Luck!!!
2007-01-03 20:42:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've been through a 4 year court battle with my ex over my daughter...you need a good attorney.
2007-01-03 20:42:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
alot of love, compasion & understanding. Try not to bad mouth or prove anything against your ex because she loves you both I'm sure. Just be a good guy & she will decide her own truth.
2007-01-03 20:45:47 · answer #7 · answered by North of Heaven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you analyze the specifics, are they big enough to bring up to court? So you can keep your kid. As for the second part, time might heal it, unless she's in her mid-teens.
2007-01-03 20:43:36 · answer #8 · answered by Tet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you get visitation / access to your child sorted out, get her into some therapy.
2007-01-03 21:01:59 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
record conversations with your ex...then show your daughters...its harsh but your daughter will know the truth...
2007-01-03 20:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by getopup 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋