we had been argueing a lot of the time, blaming each other for how we felt. we simply could not get on. so i made the decision to end it. almost as soon as i had done this, he became more loving, seemed to make an effort to be nicer to me, and when i started to respond to this, he pulled away again. playing me. obviously. so it`s over. but why, when it was ME who ended it, hav i just been awake all night, and in floods of tears this morning? why cant i stop thinking about him, all of a sudden? feel so much anger, and yes, HATE!!!!! god help me. feel like i`m goin mad. hurts so much...
2007-01-03 19:50:20 · 22 answers · asked by splee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not like you are giving up someone you just went out with once. Both your emotions are completely tangled up together. How you felt about yourself was totally dependent, probably, on him and falling for each other the first time you met. You long for that, and it will happen again. But let the tears flow now, and as the saying goes 'better to of loved and .....' I think it's true. You know more about life because of this relationship. Take that and be at peace. Have a good night....ok! You're ok hon. You always will be, with a few ups and downs to keep it real...
2007-01-03 19:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by Huguenot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, its OK to feel the way you do.Its normal.You have to remember that you broke up with him because the way he was treating you, not because you didnt love him.So it's just like a heartbreak to you! Do you understand what im saying Sweety? You didnt want to break it off with him, BUT you had to.You were smart enough to end it right there before it got any worst! Some women stay and wonder ''should i or shouldnt i' when they know the answer to that themselves.You did the right thing.You realize the fact that you are better and deserve better than what he was offering you. You loved him, thats something you cant hide.You probally STILL have an amount of love for him at this moment.As much as you want to, you cant escape that.Only time will make you stronger and heal your heart.Believe me one day you will wake up and he wont even cross your mind! I know that sounds like it wont happen,but it will.You did the right thing so now dont go and take two steps back and do the wrong thing! By the wrong thing I mean getting back with him.You know first hand how that guy can make you feel! Remember why you broke up with him in the first place, Girl. Dont make the same mistake twice. Good Luck to you & Happy New Years!
2007-01-04 04:18:11 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ Loving My Babyboy ;) ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are feeling is prefectly normal. I wish I could say for sure that what your feeling hate towards him will past but obviosly he done you wrong. What your mad about is really you let your guard down for a sec and hate he monoploized on it. Don't worry he didn't play you, he only played himself. Thats what true losers do, when they had losed they will try to get back into your good graces and it only works it you let it. He was hurt because he didn't get to do the dumping and everyone knows that you really DUMPED HIS BUTT for his betrayal of bull crap. He was proably fronting in front of his friends and telling lies. He thought in his little mind that he could get one last play in, even though the game had already been ended long ago.
It will only bother you if you let. Just remember Your a good woman and you deserve a lot better than him. You deserve a real man and not some lame jerk punk boy pretending to be a man.
Don't lose any sleep over it. Hope this helps.
2007-01-04 05:21:38 · answer #3 · answered by babydollgem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! I think that is normal right now to feel angry and to cry , because this is what us women do. But I also believe that u should- and as soon as possible- to try to get over this episode of ur life. I mean he wasn't good enough for u, right? when he felt threatened he wanted to have u back , and then started acting bad again. I had such a boyfriend some time ago and I liked him too much to break up with him, but eventually he did and i am grateful that he did that as i was able to meet my actual boyfriend who is a WONDER.
so, bottom line, be CONFIDENT in urself and everything will turn out just great, trust me.
Ralu
2007-01-04 04:01:33 · answer #4 · answered by Ralu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a typical abusive "pattern" on the part of your partner. You are going through a period of mourning for the death of a relationship. Yes, you wish it could have been different, but, be thankful that you had the wisdom and intuition to end this relationship. It may sound trite, but, find other interests that will engage you. This will give you a balanced perspective and ease the hurt. There is no way you could ever change your former partner and you may have saved yourself much worse misery if you had remained with him. I wish you well.
2007-01-04 04:02:20 · answer #5 · answered by jom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be grateful you ended a bad relationship. The fact that he pulled away when you drew him close says he isn't ready to commit. You're sad so of course you have tears. It's the end of a relationship and there was probably a lot of habit to it.
Just remember, the opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. Try to reach the point where you're feeling indifferent. If you hate him, you are spending way too much energy on someone who doesn't deserve to be in your life!
2007-01-04 03:55:20 · answer #6 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been together a long time its hard to let go of the person they used to be, before you fell out of love with the person he became.
Its like grieving, you have to give yourself a lot of time to go through the mixed emotions you will be feeling.
Call some close freinds or family because talking (continually) about him and what has happened will help you, and I expect a lot of them will now tell you what they really thought of him and your relationship that they didnt dare say to you before.
It does get better and the pain does stop (you wont die) I promise.
Newyear new start.
Good luck
2007-01-04 03:57:45 · answer #7 · answered by Jules UK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my heart goes out for you friend! God knows whether i wud have been able to cope up with this had i been in ur place. all the same you made the right decision to have ended up this whole thing coz wen a body part get diseased u have to remove to protect th rest of ur body...no matter how much it hurts.
Time heals the greatest wounds. Believe me...it does.
somehow we always tend to cherish the past an hate our present. so wat ur feeling is only natural..U have to stop blaming urself for having ended it.Try to divert your mind. Dont give urself time to think..make urself very busy and meet new people. The hatred u feel...for that u shud call him up or maybe fix up ur last meeting with him. Let it all out and start a new life.Get rid of all ur personal history and things will get easier for u. Best of luck!!
2007-01-04 05:02:52 · answer #8 · answered by sonz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to let go of someone you have grown attached too... and sometimes people have difficulty letting go, which is why he was probably so nice to you... It sounds like you have a very unhealthy relationship... with all that crazy arguing, the best thing to do is stay firm on your decision to end the relationship... cry a river.. YES tears actually help you heal... Good luck ~~Princess~~
2007-01-04 03:53:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl,I hate to tell you but that guy is cheating and wants to make it look like your the bad person. All he is really trying to do is keep you and do his dirt. He's not going any where he just want you to feel back and beg his *** to come back so that he can have something on you. He probably is letting the new one listen at your messages that your leaving on his phone if so.If he love you like you sprung on him he wouldn't let you stress out like your doing. While your alone try to get you self together before you do something that you regret. See when he will be trying to talk back to you and check him out , he may have been trying to get a piece of a__ __ from another chick.
2007-01-04 04:02:52 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Bank$$$ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋