I'm 16 and pregnant. I'm looking for answers about adoption?

Question

I'm pregnant and want to put the baby up for adoption. The father of the baby is 18 and wants us to keep the baby and raise it together. That is also what my parents suggest. It's not the life I want for myself and really want to give the baby to someone who can better care for it and who will give it a good life. Can I put it up for adoption without the consent of the father of the baby and/or my parents?

Answer 1

Marissa
You really need to think hard on this. I understand that you are only 16, but down the road you may regret not knowing your baby. And you may always wonder what your child is doing?, Is he/she/ ok?, Did I make the right decision?.
I know a woman who got pregnant at your age, and she too wanted to give the baby up for adoption, and yes her parents wanted her to keep it. Her boyfriend however, did not want the child, so that option was out for her.
Her parents told her that they would raise the child for her while she finished school and take care of it until she got on her feet.
She spent most of her pregnancy thinking on this and decided to keep the baby to herself.
The child is now 17 and she has never been happier, She now has 2 other kids also. She has said that she would have regretted giving up the child and now is happy that she kept him. With her parents help, she was able to finish school and get a job to support her and him, now she is a married mother of 3.
The decision is yours to make, but I do believe that the father has rights first if he is found fit to care for the child, if not the your parents do too.
Good Luck with this and you will be in my prayers

Answer 2

Congratulations on having the mature insight to recognize your limitations.
You can put the baby up for adoption without the consent of the Grandparents. I do not know if you need the father's consent. I think it depends on the particular laws of the state in which you live.

Here is what I suggest. Contact a pregnancy counseling center that deals with adoption or an adoption agency. You can find them in your phone book. Explain your delimia.

regardless of the laws if the father wants to keep the child he will have to demonstrate that he has the means to support and care for this child. Since he is only 18 I doubt that is possible.

It is not legal any where in the USA that you parents can force you to keep the baby and raise it. They might adopt it but they can not force you to take on the role of parent if they do. In many states if you are 16 and pregnant you automatically become emancipated, meaning you are a legal adult and your parents no longer have any control over you.

Contact either a pregnancy counseling center and or an adoption agency. You can also contact social services. If you have one you might talk to your minister and ask for help to get your parents and the father to see the intelligent thing to do.

I know this is not an easy thing for you. And I am sure this decision was hard to make. I also thing you are very brave and wise and generous to make the decision that you have.

Answer 3

The short answer is "it depends on the laws of the state". Get a lawyer and get the answers that you need.

The long answer is, well, alittle harder. If you do not wish to raise the child, the father has legal rights to child and can seek and attain legal custody of the child. He cannot, however, keep you in a relationship where the two of you raise the child. Those are his options. As for your parents, I'm not certain of their legal rights when it comes to your child. I would imagine it would be rather limited or non-existant. There is your age as a factor and I'm uncertain whether the state would consider you to be an adult or a minor; most likely, it would be the latter. But your status as the mother of the child may change that standing; I do not know of any situation in which the underage mother was compelled to care for a child that she did not want to raise.

From a personal note, I can say that adoption is a viable option. I have family and friends who were adopted and lead happy and normal lives. What is important for you to do if you decide to put the child for adoption (and the father doesn't claim his legal rights to the child) is that you provide a detailed medical history for your child. This can warn the child's doctor of various diseases and conditions that may affect the child's health (both as a child and as an adult). Furthermore, you can set up the adoption if you want the possibility of future contact. Again, this is something I would recommend for.

Answer 4

You do not need your parents consent. However both biological parents must consent to an adoption. Therefore if your boyfriend does not want to put the baby up for adoption then it can’t be adopted. You should all sit down together and talk about why you think this is the best option for everyone including most importantly your baby. Then listen to your boyfriend’s opinion on it. Grant it in the end you could terminate your parental rights and the father could take full custody of the baby.

Today people can actual do an open adoption and stay in contact with their birth child if they want too. This can include visitation a few times a year or even yearly updates photos etc. Do adopted children sometime get beat? yes, but birth children also get beat. You’d have to realize that if you ever wanted to search for you child that he or she might not want to see you, however it goes the other way around to, parents not wanting to be found or seen by their birth children.

Birthmothers (parents) can also have a large say in what parent(s) you want to adopt your baby. You can even meet with them and talk with them. I doubt any adopted parent would tell your birth child that you didn’t want him or her. On the contrary they’d tell them when they got older that you did what you thought was best for them, and that is the most loveing thing any birth mother could do. You could even write a letter to your child and ask the adopted parents to give it to the child when it’s older.


I applaud your maturity you should think long and hard about this. Go and talk to some people who are neutral on the situation. I would also like to add that I’d suggest the book Hanging on to Max it is a very realistic book on teen parenthood. In the book the mother (16 or 17) decides she want to put the baby up for adoption, however the father (same age) disagrees so he takes custody of the baby. After having the baby for several months he realize though he loves his son more then anything he just cant be a father to him. It shows a young man who wants to be a good father, but he also wants to just be free to hang out with his friends not have such a huge responsibility.

Answer 5

You can put the baby up for adoption without the father's consent, but you may have to sign an affidavit stating you do not know who the father is and he can challenge this and take you to court if he finds out. Talk to him about adoption, and ask him if he is willing to pay most of his check to child support for the next 18 years! Since you are 16, you do not need your parents consent to put your baby up for adoption. This is your decision and a great one. Many grown women do not have the courage or love for their child to give him/her the opportunity that you are. Congrats on being very grown up for your age.

Answer 6

I believe it depends on whether or not the father would be willing to take you to court. Based on the fact that it would be very expensive for the father of this child to drag you into court and fight for custody of the child at 18, the chances are slim that he would succeed. Even if he was able to, the courts will look at the entire situation and unless he has a job, graduated from school, and is stable, the court will most likely decide that the best place for the child to be is with a family who would be financially and emotionally ready for it.

I would probably not recommend raising the child on your own, as many women I see that have children young have an extremely difficult life. I had my daughter at 18, and while I do not regret it for a moment, trying to go to an Ivy League college, buying a house, and even having a moment's rest is nearly impossible. It takes my daughter's father plus our families combined to try and succeed at giving her the best chance possible, and you'd be depriving yourself of countless opportunities. Many people will try and convince you to keep the baby, but they do not know what's best for you and have their own missions they want to accomplish through others.

This is a very delicate subject, but I would research it heavily if I were you and be completely informed. How far along are you? I don't know whether or not this is in your beliefs, but have you considered abortion? I know some are solely against it, which is fine, but it may be an option for you if still early on in the pregnancy. Please, do your research, talk to many different people, and make a decision only after knowing 100% in your heart that what you want to do is the right choice for you.

Answer 7

You can put it up for adoption without your parents consent, but not without the consent of the baby's father (he also has rights).

It seems like you have a strong support network. It's not going to be easy, but you can make it work with the help of the baby's father and your parents. Good luck!

Answer 8

No you cannot put the baby up for adoption with out the fathers consent and not only that, the babys biological father want to raise the baby why would you try and denie him his God given right i think you are just being selfish... Give up your rights as the baby's parent and give all rights to the father, or your parents not everyone is as lucky as you, youhave help right left and center... Don;t do that to the father or the baby!! Not that you can with out his permission ne way!! Don;t be selfish!!

~CHEERS!!~

Answer 9

My husband and I have just been approved to adopt. We have been doing a lot of research about adoption laws. You don't need your parents permission to place the child, but you do need the baby's father to sign off otherwise the adoption cannot happen.

I don't know what state you are in, but adoption.com has some good legal information on it's website-I just don't know how current it is.

See:

http://laws.adoption.com

You could also call a local adoption attorney and they can advice you at no charge about your options. If the father of baby cannot prove than he can provide a stable home or care for the baby, they may not allow him to take custody.

Good luck to you.

Answer 10

Yes, it's your baby and not even the father of the baby nor your parents can make you keep it. Also, just to keep this in mind, you can give up the baby at the hospital within (I think) 24 hours or give it to a fire department or police station within 24 hours of birth. They have a no questions asked policy. Just don't be tempted to leave it at the door of those places because tragically there are cases where no one notices it until it was too late. If you ahve any other questions, look up some hotlines on google for teen pregnancy. The people there should be able to give you any more legal advice.