Is there hope for marriages?

Question

I have heard so much about spouses cheating on one another. I know there are different reasons why this happens, but I think no matter what the underlying reason for this is the cheating spouse acting selfishly.

I do not mind trying my best to keep myself up for my husband and trying to please him in bed as much as possible, but I do not want to worry about someday whoever my future husband may be cheating on me because of any reason.

So, is there hope for finding a person that absolutely will not cheat?

Answer 1

Part of the challenge of spotting a cheater is people usually look for the signs after the affair has already happened. There were signs long before it’s just that people don’t know what the signs are. People who cheat tend to be people who will justify their behavior in other areas of their lives, too, not take responsibility for their mistakes or shortcomings. They lean toward blaming others for their lives not turning out they way they'd like, have that "grass is greener" mentality about life (if I had a different job, a different car, newer clothes, lived in a different house, different city, etc). Potential cheaters also tend to be people who rely on external input to feel good about themselves.

Cheaters tend to be impatient and are geared more toward immediate gratification and look for shortcuts toward a goal rather than find the joy in working for something. Cheaters often actually CHEAT - on their taxes, tests, slip in late/sneak out of work early on a regular basis, cut in line, often feel that in many areas of their life they are somehow entitled to bypass the rules by which others live. Regardless of what they're cheating, cheaters generally cheat because it's easier, more pleasant and/or more immediate than doing what's right. When they are held accountable for their behavior they tend to feel persecuted by people they think have it in for them.

People who cheat often exhibit other characteristics long before the mysterious phone numbers end up in the cell phone. That is not to say that all cheaters do this, nor that all people who do this cheat, but if you’re dating someone exhibiting these characteristics, you’re with someone who’s got a lot of growing up to do. Cheating in a relationship is a symptom of a character crisis that needed to be addressed long before the affair actually happens. Is there a guarantee you will not be cheated on? No, but if you want to avoid being cheated on and maximize the chance that you won't be, watch for signs of a character in crisis in people you date. Look for people who exhibit a strong character in all areas of their life, regardless of the consequences; people who do what's right and in keeping with their conscience because it's the right thing to do, not because it's the easy or convenient thing to do.

I wanted to recommend a couple of books but I had a hard time find any because they focused on catching your spouse when they’re cheating. That’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine, isn’t it? I hope the article below is helpful, though. She even mentions a book but it's also more about cheating, not so much about the character traits of a cheater before they cheat.

Answer 2

There's never any guarantees. If you're looking for guarantees, you're in for a bitter disappointment sooner or later. There's no guarantee that we will not get into an accident driving home from work, but we still go out there and get behind the wheel every morning. Why? Because the benefits outweight the risks. For as long as the benefits of being in a relationship continue to outweigh the risks, people will be seeking relationships. The benefits are great, so are the risks, and it's up to each person to focus on either one or the other. We have to try and learn to make suitable and responsible choices, but we can never eliminate the risks entirely. Best we can do is to be realistic, and strive for our goals even in the face of setbacks.

Answer 3

I don't know.That's why I'm 39 and never been married because of that fear.Its true what your saying.
I dated this good looking women once and she said to me that I was a scary guy because i never been married...then i turned it around and told her she was even scarier because was divorced.She smiled and said she got the point.
The truth of that matter is that divorce rates these days are just ridiculous.
I've been cheated on so much in my life that I give up worrying about it.If it happens it'll happen and there's nothing you can do about it.If you over worry that could push that person away ...but of course you don't want to look like a blind idiot either,You can't win.Just kick back relax and be happy they're still with you.Obviously there's a reason they're still coming back if they are cheating.Good or bad who knows.

Answer 4

Yes there is hope! Not everyone cheats. It's important to know and understand the person you will marry. Make sure you share the same sense of values. Never settle for someone who doesn't respect you (that goes both ways). If you're convinced that everyone cheats you are doomed to a sad marriage. You have to trust and you have to take a chance. Good luck!

Answer 5

If you ever find one, don't ever let him go.... But you've got a good question here, and I really hope there are faithful men out there, but you hear so much about how all men lie about sex, how they get bored and stray, and how they have a midlife crisis where they realize that no 19 year old beauty is ever going to chase him again, so they have to run out and prove themselves, and how a lot of men just plain need DIFFERENT and it wouldn't matter if you put on a different wig each night or wore a different costume, they just have to find out how the waitress is in bed or they'll die of curiosity. It really makes it hard to respect the male part of our race, that's for sure!

Answer 6

nothing can guarantee that u will never be cheated on by a husband or have to suffer because of it, but sometimes i think if before we marry we look into the man's past, see how he handles stress, and upsets, pay attention to how he treats others, and if he has a strong belief in the lord, and has good morals, than there is a chance maybe some of us may be able to avoid a bad future. i base this on my own life, and my failure to take seriously my ex's past, and how he treated his past wives, and children, and others, and how he handled disappointments, and not getting his own way. if i had only looked at these things, maybe i would never have married him, or had to suffer because of it. also if a family goes to church, seeks god, maybe they won't have alot of the problems that some people do.

Answer 7

Never give up on your relationship even if something bad does happen. Marriage is hard work, it depends if you want to work hard for your husband and your family.
If your husband has a happy home life with a wonderful wife, he won't even consider another woman. Hope this helps!

Answer 8

Dear,

In the first place when you decided to marry you made the necessary measurement to marry that person including partner's loyalty. If your partner is not loyal why do you marry?Do you know a person is not loyal to his/her partner is committing adultery?What about you?Are you loyal, too?You need to consider that.In addition to this you better know your personality.Do you have a good relationship with your husband?What about your relationship with others?I advise you you must maintain good relationship with people.If you are arrogant,suspicious etc people may not approach you including your husband.Therefore you must have to look yourself for the moment.Above all I do know you please stick to the words of God.Pray.Things will become in order.

Answer 9

You cannot pre-plan life Jessie. It's just eat up your today and you are missing out on the fun that you can have today. If you love someone, go for it and do your best to keep it together. Life takes its course whether you like it or not.

Answer 10

I hope so. I know I could never cheat on my husband and I hope he feels the same.