why do my parents do this?

Question

ok my parents have always treeted my older brother better than me. but for christmas this year they went to far. my older brother (19) got a car ($800) and I (17) got $50. i asked for some money to pay for a skiing trip in in a few weeks, and the trip costs $200. people have told me that i should not be jellous of my brother, but my parents spent so much on him and only gave me 1/4 of what i need for the trip. I know that I will not get a car when I am 19, my parents have as good as told me that. (they baught the car from my grandparents.) and my parents are always conplaining that we never have enough money. some months we have to chose between bills and food. what can i do?another thing, he is very lazy, he does not work, and he does not help around the house. I have 2 younger siblings who got every thing on their lists for christmas, but they did not amout to much money. (about $100 each). and none of them do any thing. I am the only kid who cooks over 2/3 of the meals, does laundry

i asked this a few days ago, but wanted more answers. here are more details:

I have tryed to get a job, but the unemployment rate here is as high as it has ever been. i was told by 2 job angentcys that it is imposable for a teen my age to get a job in this town. also what can I do about my parents? i am sick of always getting left overs, while my brother gets so much.
I just dont understand it. I am the one who works harder, I do all of the house work, am in college level classes early, paly the piano (my brother cant), and I am trying very hard to get a job. why are my parents this way?

2 days ago
and before all of you say "talk to them" I have, over and over. my parents have been doing this for YEARS. do you not think that i have tryed to talk to them?
and another thing, just because I cook and clean does not meen I am a girl. I am a boy, just like my brother.
the fast food places here are PACKED, theyare not hiring any more right now. one of the biggest fac

factorys in our area closed and 300 people are out of work. untill my dad lets me drive i cant get a job. (we arent allowed to drive till 18)

and I cant stop doing what i am doing around the house with out getting in a lot of trouble with my parents

read the question. MY PARENTS TOLD ME THAT I WILL NOT GET A CAR UNLESS I PAY FOR IT MY SELF, AT ANY AGE.

let me also say that my parents provide him with a card for gas any time he needs it. and the car from my grand parents was NEVER driven more than a few miles. it is as good as brand new.

Answer 1

I have 2 stepkids boy 8 years old and girl 11 years old. I spend the same amount of money on them and do equally for them. All I can say is some parents just favor one child over another. I personally don't understand this either. I hope that someone can give you a better answer on this. I was an only child so I can't help you much. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Think about it this way they got him the car probably as a hope that he will get off his butt and go and get a job. If he doesn't have a job how will he get gas for the car. They may see that they have made a mistake with him some where and they are trying to change it before they make the same mistake with you. As for you only getting 1/4 of what you need for the trip they may trying to teach you that there are other ways to get money than just asking your parents it. If I were you I would be thankful for what you got not what you didn't. You said that there are times when your parents have to decide between bills and food. It happens that way sometimes in the real world. I wish I could tell you that it was different but the truth is that is the way it is. As far as you getting a car when you turn 19 if you save the money you make doing little jobs here and there for your family and other people in the neighborhood then when you turn 19 you can buy your own car, and you want be driving around in a old persons car. I also want to remind you that the reason people celebrate Christmas is not the receiving of gifts but the birth of Jesus Christ

Answer 3

Wow... That's harsh. I think that it's just a hard time for them. They probably think that by giving your brother a car that it will help him find a job, giving your younger siblings $100 is because they are younger, and by not being fair to you is because your their favorite. That's one thing and another could be that they're just too stressed out and can't think straight. Just wait a little longer and put up with a little more work. Maybe then they might do something. I understand because I'm the oldest and I have to do everything since my sister is 10 and can barley do anything yet. I have to help with heavy loads and stuff that a son should do, but there isn't a son in the family so it's just me. She always gets to sit on her butt and do nothing and she gets the better stuff. But after words when I've done all the hard work that no one has done I get something better than what my sister does. It's like the story about the chicken that worked hard on making bread while the other animals did nothing. Just remember the story and hold on and I think that your parents will give you what you deserve. You deserve it any way and someday you will get it. Just someday.

Answer 4

Try not to pay them any attention. When my dad's oldest daughter *not by my mom* was pregnant my dad paid me more attention then her and I know that hurt her, but I dont really know my dad. Well when I got pregnant *I lived with my mom & sister*not by my dad* and it was like they never noticed me. I was 18 at the time and I sometimes noticed that my sister got treated better than I did and sometimes it was the other way around. Sweetheart I am sorry you feel the way you do. But, if I were you I'd just try to ignore them, you are 17 and will be 18 soon. Try posting your resume on monster or searching for jobs on Yahoo you'll find a job soon and you'll be able to move out and you'll outshine your brother. They can continue to shower him with gifts and money but you'll be able to support yourself and soon they'll be calling asking you for money and you can do them the same way. That's mean but its life. I mean I have a step son *I'm 19 will be 20 n 5mos* and I try to treat both my sons the same because I don't want there to be conflict between them. Well, I hope everything works out for the best because that's sad in my opinion that your parents are treating you all different. WEll, hopefully you'll be 18 soon and your situation should be changin very soon. ~Good Luck!

Answer 5

Sorry, but I went throughthe same thing. My brother was the 1st born, he was the favored one.

But it seems to me you don't have it all that bad, you go skiing, you can play piano, that means that you have the time and the economic means to pay for these things.

My parents paid for my brother's college, I paid my own way. I had enough, I joined the army, then I got out of the army and my parents wanted me to use my veterans benefits to buy him a house, (He got a girl pregnant). He is now a jerk, neither myself, my sister or my other brother talk to him.

If you start realizing that your parents are doing you a favor, you will be happier. When you do get out on your own you will appreciate what you have. He never will appareciate anything, you will be happy, he will not.

Be proud of what you are doing, forget him, the anger that you are feeling will hurt you more then your parents.

Answer 6

I can understand you feel hurt by this. Do they treat you different or are we only talking material items? They may feel like you are not as "needy" as the other kids and it may actually be a compliment ( given in a screwed up way ). The kid who parents think can handle getting less and understand why when times get tough are normally the ones who go without.... so hopefully this is the case and not actual favoritism. Try getting a job if you dont have one to earn extra money and make them realise how much they depended on your help, they may appreciate what you do more. Good luck, hope you get to go on your trip!

Answer 7

Your situation reminds of my sister's family. Her son being the oldest is like your older brother, and then she has triplet daughters, however 1 of them does most of the housework and helping in the house, and the other two get what they want and she gets little. My only explanation and advice to her when she talked to me about it was that her older brother was decidely the spoiled one in the family, unfortunately it shouldn't be that way but it is, and the other two are just plain lazy. The parents chose to give in to them rather than to make them responsible and have them work for what they want. Whereas, you have taken responsibility on your own, or simply listen to your parents better than the rest of the kids in your family, perhaps having more respect for your parents. Your parents may therefore see that you do not require as much from them as the other kids as you are more self reliant than they are. Once you are 18 you will be ready to leave home and go on your own, your brother may never leave home, wouldn't that suck for your parents. Good luck!

Answer 8

Have you tried to speak about this with your parents? If they can be totally honest with you, you'll find out their reasons why they do this. Also try not to feel jealousy or envy for your siblings. It's not their fault at all. I have one brother and he was always favoured by my mother. As kids growing up he was bought bikes, computers, tv, then a car when he turned 18 etc - me, nothing. All I got was his hand-me-down bikes when they got too small for him. But now that she's old and alone she's calling on him all the time as if she expects favours in return. So I guess he had it easy as a kid, but he's got it harder now having to deal with her now.

Answer 9

huh? okay well talk to them about it and maybe if they understand what you are going threw maybe they will change the way the treat you. im the baby in my family (15) and my brother (20) and i get treated way better than he does. well all i can sy is try talking to them,thats what i did a couple days ago and they changed and started treating me lil bit better.well my mom did!
good luck!!!!!!

Answer 10

well, sounds like our parents hate u, ur like cinderella without the stepmother and without the legit fame

well, maybe if u go missing for a day or so maybe, they would notice that no1 else is cleaning the house and doing the laundry

ur like a maid the way i see it