He is a jeckle/hyde personality and has verbally abused me for 23 years when he is drunk. Do you think he really wants me to die? is he fake because he treats me like gold after one of his violent tantrums where he says very mean things.
2007-01-03 18:13:12 · 37 answers · asked by ginfused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The answer to your problem is simple: No drinking for him. He never has a right to say something like that, and you can't let him have an excuse.
2007-01-03 18:15:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't you think that perhaps he stated that because if you did die he would no longer be able to abuse you? People say the weirdest things like a child telling their parents "I wish you were dead" or " I hate you" it just shows their immaturity and they say it because they have no other way of expressing their anger, unless they are taught to hit someone or something and not really mean it hence the treating better bit afterwards. Sometimes people verbally abuse because there is an underlying problem within themselves and has nothing to do the the person being abused such as a control issue, feeling a out of control with their own life, no self worth or jealously.Where alcohol is involved that is just a excuse , it brings out the courage to say things or be someone who is hidden inside. Some people are happy drunks some are mean drunks and when they sober up you always hear " it's because of the drink babe". If they are abusive under drink they need to seek help! They are the one with the problem and are in denial, first sign of a alcoholic is denial.No one has the right to abuse any living creature in my opinion verbally or physically, it just shows that they are a weak human and also it's just wrong...
2007-01-03 19:59:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like a difficult situation because he only treats you badly when he's drunk, but still, i'd be very careful. isnt it true that sometimes people say drunk what they're too afraid to say sober? i dont mean to say that he really wants you to hurry up and die, just that maybe his drunken violent behaviour will soon have repercussions when he's sober, or he might start saying these things when sober aswell. i'd suggest that you talk to him about it while he's sober, and tell him how much it's upsetting you. ask him if that's the way he really feels, and if he genuinely doesn't feel that way, don't allow him to drink anymore and maybe take him to a psychiatrist to get to the root of the problem. good luck!
2007-01-03 20:14:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you not answered your own question hun, abused for 23 years of any sort is abuse .. you have stood it for that long, my guess would be he would be scared sick if anything happened to you but has got into a nasty rut of treating you like s...t . maybe a time out spell would do you both good, you to see there is more to life than that .. you do deserve better, and him to see the error of his ways. Alcohol makes people say and do many stupid things, but they also call it the truth drug as it just gives them confidence to say what they would never do sober. Tell him it hurt, your sick of it, go stay with freinds relatives for a week, see how he copes, take the kids if you have any but give yourself a well deserved break.. if you choose to go back to him, then at least you know what your letting yourself in for, or you might actually find you enjoy life without the abuse xx good luck in whatever you choose x
2007-01-03 18:17:53 · answer #4 · answered by suzie1968uk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is a j/h personality. That's too long to take that my dear.
Will he mean it ..if he accidently kills you ? I'm shocked he hasn't hurt you badly by now. He is an alcoholic. You need to
leave him, before your self esteem is totally damaged. Men like
him, may never learn how to love and take good care of a woman
Let him go be with another drunk. Be careful. Sometimes when
the woman wants out, that is the most dangerous time. Just be
prepared ahead of time. While he is at work...GO. You'll never
get your life in order as long as he's around you. It's not worth it.
Your worth more than that crap...don't take anymore.Leave him!
2007-01-03 18:22:59 · answer #5 · answered by CraZyCaT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has been doing this for that long it is not going to change. There is some truth in what you say when you are drunk, but I dont think he really wants you to die. He is just pissed about something. You guys have some things to really sit down and discuss with each other. If that doesnt help you might just need to call it quits.
2007-01-03 18:18:20 · answer #6 · answered by boby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a problem and needs to get in to rehab
you do not have to take that verbal abuse
I hope he isn't physically abusive to you
23 years is a long time to put up with that.......
I am sure he does not want you to die..but he should not say things like that..
get him to join AA or some group support
go with him if it will help
2007-01-03 18:18:51 · answer #7 · answered by Bren 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Teach him a lesson and secretly plan a way to leave him for a week, where he has no idea where you are or how to get a hold of you. Yeah, by the time a week went by, he'd be going insane with worry. Ask him when you get back if he still thinks you should "hurry up and die." He doesn't appreciate you, and you know how you don't know what you've got until it's gone. It's time to remind him, me thinks. Try it. It works wonders!
2007-01-03 18:30:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason he is so nice to you after he sobers up is because he feels guilty. NO ONE should be verbally or physically abused in this way and you need to seek help ASAP.
Telling someone to hurry up and die is a DREADFUL thing. You don not have to suffer in this way.
Now, contact your local office for Domestic Violence and get some help.
2007-01-03 18:33:30 · answer #9 · answered by The Alchemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Sorry to hear that your husband of 23 years (!) said something like that
I would take time to think seriously about it
Alcohol sometimes brings people to the stage where they things that they wouldn't say when sober
Approach him when he's sober and ask him what he meant
Was he always like this?
23 years is a long time
Good luck to you
2007-01-03 20:35:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what they say "kids and drunks always tell the truth".
Obviously this situation really suits you because you've put up with it for 23 years.
What a question! have you no self respect, "treats you like gold after his violent tantrums" wake up and smell the coffee luv,surely you want better for yourself don't you?
2007-01-03 19:08:51 · answer #11 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋