pregnant and getting divorced?

Question

i am 5 months pregnant and am getting divorced from my abusive husband. i have a restraining order, and he is not allowed to come within 500 feet of me or my home. my question is do i legally have to give the baby his last name? i live in oklahoma. i am going ot try to get him to surrender his parental rights in return for not having to pay child support, but don't know if he'll agree to this. regardless of this outcome, i want the baby to have my maiden name, as that is what i'm changing mine back to. also, does anyone know if i even have to put my soon-to-be ex on the birth certificate? my divorce will be final before the baby is born in april.

Answer 1

do what you have to do....................

Answer 2

I really hope you’re not trying to do this without an attorney. This is a complicated case and you NEED an attorney.

I’m not familiar with Oklahoma law on these issues, but in most (if not ‘all’) states:

--if you’re married at the time you got pregnant, then he is the legal father and as such his name is entered on the birth certificate, unless a court rules otherwise. Now, in some (A FEW) states, there can be exceptions to this IF he’s not the biological father, all parties involved (including the biological father) are in agreement with that fact, etc. But in this case, he IS the biological father.

--if a woman is not married and paternity has not yet been established, she is free to give her child any last name that she chooses. However, if she’s married (or was married when she got pregnant) then BOTH parents have to be in agreement in order to give the child a different last name OR a court has to make a ruling on it.

As far as termination of parental rights, this has to be approved by a judge. Most judges are VERY reluctant to allow a parent to voluntarily terminate their parental rights. IF you’re willing to agree to it and IF you don’t need Dad’s financial support (because it will mean no child support) then a judge *might* agree to it if (s)he has reason to believe that Dad’s unfit/a danger to the child. Or (s)he might not. Here’s one reason judges do not like to allow it—right now you might not need Dad’s financial help, but 5 years down the road your situation might change and then who’s going to help support the child—the taxpayers. I’m not saying that will happen in your case, but since no one can foretell the future…

Again, you REALLY need an attorney. But in the meantime, you can call the OK Department of Vital Records to ask about the birth certificate issues.

Answer 3

In terms of the law in Oklahoma, I would consult an attorney. If you don't have one, then contact legal aid or a referral service which you should be able to find in the local phone book.

It would probably be best to change your name before the baby was born and list the father as unknown. Your ex may try to challange you for custody (if he knows your pregnant, which you didn't state). As you go through the diffrent legal processes, I'd make sure to keep every piece of paperwork you have in order and organized in case he tries to come after you for custody or visitation. Especially given the fact that he is being abusive.

Answer 4

Just change your name back before you give birth and there should be no trouble giving him/her your last name weather or not you put the father on the birth certificate.

Answer 5

You do NOT have to give the baby his last name. You can name your child, first,middle and last name, whatever you'd like and it is legal. Also, just because he surrenders his parental rights does NOT terminate his legal obligation to child support. Please see a Attorney who specializes in Child Custody cases. Good Luck, I'm glad you found the courage to leave and have a better life. You and your baby deserve it.

Answer 6

I would check for legal advice, ask your lawyer.
But, please, think about your baby too...they grown and make questions...do you think your baby would like not to have his father's name? What does your "soon to be ex" think about this baby? He is an abusive husband, but he is still your baby's father. Please go to a counselor, meditate, and pray before making a final decision. BEST wishes to you and your baby!!!
One more thing, I think that your "soon to be ex" should be financially responsible for the support of your child. Don't make decisions based on anger or hurt.

Answer 7

i'm not an expert on oklahoma laws, but i don't see why you wouldn't be allowed to give your baby your last name.. especially if he signs over all custody rights to you..

as far as registering the birth with the city or the state, they will probably require that you give his name, just so they can have it on file..

Answer 8

i think you should be able to give the baby your last name but youll probably still have to put the fathers name on the birth certificate

Answer 9

If I were you I would call your local city hall (or whatever place that records births) and ask them these questions. Also, wouldn't hurt to call a lawyer; the first phone consultation is usually free.

Answer 10

I gave my daughter my maiden name, although her father's name is on the birth certificate. You don't have to have his name on the birth certificate, it will just say unknown. My sister did that.

Answer 11

You baby can be named whatever you want it to be named. Make yourself and your baby happy.

I wouldn't cut the baby out of your husbands life so quickly----make him pay child support---no visitation (without supervision) no visitation unless he takes parenting classes---Make it difficult as possible----!