How do you truly know who you are?

Question

So, right now I am trying to recover from a break up that is breaking my heart. I feel so alone and desire the love and the love that I gave to the man that I was with. But that brings me to just trying to make myself a better person in general. I am trying to think positively about this situation and use it for the best.

So, one of the things that I have contemplated before getting back with my ex or trying to move on with someone else is getting to know who I truly am.

How does one get to know who he/she truly is? Especially, I feel that I try to learn and my views begin to change (not that I am fickle, but I know that I or anyone can be wrong about different things and that there is a gray area).

So really? What makes a person who they truly are even though a person changes and is so influenced by their environment and also genetics?

Answer 1

You can never know yourself by looking to other people for recognition. I'm 28 and I am always learning more and more each day. But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the Glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from Glory to Glory, as by the Spirit of the Lord. kjv 2 Cor.3:18

When we look to God He helps us with our uphill battles and walks with us in the valley. When we are on the mountain tops He is rejoicing with us. Those are the times when joy is almost unbearable for me. As the Holy Spirit or what can be called our helper teaches us ( as we read in the bible, pray , worship) we become more and more like Jesus. We do not care when problems come our way for we know that God is in control .

(Now don't get me wrong, I still make many mistakes. That is why I need to get on my knees and continualy give these things in my life to God. It will never be perfect or easy( till we get to heaven) but God helps it to be easier when you give all your troubles to him)

It is a continual process throughout our whole life of being changed from Glory to Glory( or trouble to overcoming to trouble to overcoming ) to build that character that God can use in us as a button to help that person who might be going through the same thing or even worse. I hope that this will help you to know that you do not need to change for other people. People will always let you down. I have let people down without meaning to a lot of times. That is why we can not look to other people or even hold things against them. For people will always make mistakes and hurt you. We can only look to one person who has always kept His promises and whose motives are always pure. LORD JESUS

Answer 2

Wow! I don't really know how to answer this question because this sounds exactly like the thoughts I had when my ex-girl left me 3+ years ago. I was crushed and didn't know what to do. Then I started questioning who I really was and sought the answer. I still haven't figured it out after all this time. I took a lot of long walks back in the day just trying to figure this whole life thing out. I do know more about who I am but I am not there completely yet. When I am I will start to date again. What you are going through is hard and all you can try to do is keep your head up. Be prepard for a great journey. Good luck.

Answer 3

You are Love.

The thing with breakups is that they open a whole new door to our inner selves. We begin to seek ourselves, and not drown in the rat race.

You get to know yourself through thought, and asking questions.

When you ask a question like what you are asking, it is the first step, or part of the steps thrugh which you will get to know yourself.

It is an eternal quest; the results can be satisfying, as you gain more confidence and realise your worth. - which is Love.

Every action you take, everything you do, let it come from a sense within you - let your innermost self shine. Do not hide it. Question your motives. Seek books on the subject.

Best of all that, accept yourself. Look at yourself through the eyes of a nurturer. Observe yourself, and be your own cheerleader.

The truth will be uncovered, but only for those who seek. And when you find it, it's the most exhilarating thing in the world.

Look at your breakup as a blessing. It allowed you to experience the most intense sensitivities that make up what life actually is about. It s only through pain where we grow.. and through pain we see the underlying love.

Once you understand that, you will know the reason for your breakup - sometimes its to teach you something valuable about yourself. and it might be the most valuable gift.

Answer 4

We all have varying emotional states. Who we are is a perception, and I don't believe we can truly know who we are. That being said, I do think that it is possible to find one's "center" and feel calm and insightful about yourself. There is no fixed "self." We are very much a product of the interaction of our genetics with our environment. A really good book on this subject is "Becoming a Tiger" by Susan McCarthy.

If you feel the need for more insight into yourself, a good therapist can really help. Therapy is all about understanding yourself and relationships, including your relationship with yourself.

Your questions are part of being a human. Be aware and honest with yourself. Experience and reflection upon that experience will help you. Be kind and patient with yourself. We are all "works-in-progress."

I wish you well, and I hope you will make the choice that is healthy for you.

Answer 5

If you want to know who you are and who you truly 'want' to be, just ask yourself some basic questions:

#1 - What is most important to me (ex: money, family, freedom, power, love, acceptance.... ect....)?

#2 - What do I want to have accomplished at the end of my life?

#3 - Where do I want to be in 10 years?

#4 - When I was a kid, what were the most important things in my life? What did I want to be when I grew up?

When you take the time to answer these fundamental questions, honestly, you will have a better idea of who you want to be and who you are right now.

We are all the products of our upbringing and life experience, but we all have the ability to change and mold ourselves for the better. Life can beat us up and steal our verve and our drive, and even sometimes let us forget what we want out of life. But, taking time to meditate and analyse yourself will help you get back to understanding who you are inside.

It's a beautiful thing that you are taking a negative experience and trying to gain something positive from it. You are on the right track, so keep it up. Kudos to you :)

Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 6

Jessie,

You're not just influenced by heredity and environmental input, your are 100% controlled by these two sources.

But that's another issue altogether than the issue of your question.

Your question is how do you know truly who you are. Well I believe that it is impossible for the self to lie to the self. I mean if you think about it, lying implies that you know the truth and therefore it would be impossible to lie to yourself. You might be deluded about yourself but you can't out and out lie to yourself.

So knowing that you can't lie to yourself, try answering yourself. You might be asking, "Huh? What does he mean by that?" What I mean is try taking an inventory of what you like/dislike, value, enjoy, seek, aspire, believe.

One thing I advocate is the personal time-line. See if you can do a time-line of your life. Make one year equal an inch, a whole foot would represent a year, and plot out the milestone events of your life. Seeing where you've come from will do a lot to inform you who you are.

If you need more of my help, feel free to ask.

PK

Answer 7

After my divorce I spent 2 years alone, with my 2 kids, trying to figure out who I am. I finally learned that your education of yourself and who you are changes on a daily basis. Why ponder the past and live in despair when there is wonderments all around you? Just look at a child staring at a butterfly, or watch them try to pick a flower without crushing it. It's beautiful how a child smiles at something as mundane as a blade of grass tickling their feet. That's when I finally figured it out. It's not who I am that I need to get to know, it's the world around me. I've opened my eyes, I stop to smell the roses, and I've taught myself to just enjoy life even when hardships came at me with both barrells blazing. I think that is when I finally was happy with myself. Must of worked, I finally found a man who loves who I am, the way I think, the way I carry myself and the fact that I'm a 5 year old kid stuck in a 35 year old body.

Answer 8

Who am I? Is one of the first things we meditate upon when we practice yoga. Who am I. I am that I am.
In others always try to see yourself. Remember We all have gone through what your gone through. At least most of us adults. You have 3 bodies as you may know 1.your physical 2. your mental and 3. your emotional. Try to join them together and still your mind before you ask your self Who am I. Prepare yourself for the task at hand before you embark upon it. To still your mind so you can see your reflection of who you are clearly.
Think of your mind as a pond, when there is lots of ripples the reflection is distorted, if it is too wavy the wavy water may even stir up the ground and really make it difficult to see the reflection of anything.
When your mind becomes still and calm then and only then can you come to know who you are. It can not be taught but any one, it comes from with in. To become one pointed or focused on a single thing such as your breath, a chant, or a candle, you still your mind by ridding your mind of the flutter of thoughts that distort your reflection of who you really are.To know who you are you must become one with yourself, This is the way of the hero.
If you understand what I am saying then you are awake, if you do not, it is because you are asleep. I hope to awaken the sleeping one inside you, or help the awaken one inside you become directed into obtaining and maintaining knowledge that you may put it to proper use and become wise. Hope this helps you.
You may want to read this over a few times to fully understand it's meaning.
Peace to you my friend.

Answer 9

"Layers, Donkey."

I love that line from Shrek.

I think it's like the ogre said. We're like onions. We have layers. We spend a lifetime peeling off the layers. It's not about what we ULTIMATELY find under the layers, though. It's about the journey.

It's why, after a Bachelor's degree and a Master's degree, I'm still "changing my major," still trying to put my finger on what I want to accomplish before my life is over. And meanwhile, while I'm trying to put my finger on the prize answer, I'm giving of myself here, stopping to smell the roses there, and making ends meet in between.

Who am I? I'm the gal on the driver's license. Who am I really? A work in progress and many layers to go.

Answer 10

to know who you are is to respect you for yourself first.
without self respect you will always be left to wonder.
take a large step back and asses the situation that you have found yourself in.
eliminate any negative thoughts such as why are you at this point in time.
NOW only look forward never back.
you cannot change what has passed but you can influence what is to come take positive actions and have positive thoughts, never rush into anything you are in control of your destiny.
nobody but you can determine your life, choose wisely and you will succeed