my kids are 16 and 14 they havent seen bio dad in the last year contact has been sporadic and mainly from the ex's girlfriend. they have not had any contact from him in the last month and a half and keep trying to contact him with no return calls or emails (they live about 3 hrs from him) they want to quit trying to stay in touch w/him but i dont know what to do. can i let them quit trying? (yes he is still paying support) i just hate to see them frustrated and i know he doesnt care about them. any suggestions? thanks!
2007-01-03 17:38:40 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just be there for them. They are totally unable to stop before they finally realise what a total s**t he really is. They will need you even more then
2007-01-03 17:41:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids are all old to figure out if their Dad wants to contact them again. I wouldn't press the issue. I would not force my children to continually be disappointed. Life is tough enough without constantly being reminded of it.
They will eventually resent you for making them do something that is ultimately making them sad. Just because he's paying child support doesn't mean he is a real Dad. It only means he's afraid of child court.
2007-01-04 02:00:03 · answer #2 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will ALWAYS be their father. He may not act according to your standards, may not satisfy his children with how little he contacts them, but he is still doing the best he can. He has something in his mind, whatever it is, and I bet it's not to cause pain to his children. The fact that his conduct does cause the kids pain is not his intention, would be my guess. He has his own issues and they're not yours. So let the kids do whateve they want, and try to support whatever efforts he does make to deal with them. You might drop him a line and remind him that he has two children who miss him and would like to see him. Remember, you're doing it for the kids.
2007-01-04 01:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am from a family where my father left my mother. For several years I saw my dad on and off. He always made promises to see us and he never followed through. Other times he completely ignored us.
My sister and I went through the rollercoaster ride. The whole time our mother supported us seeing our dad. It came to a point that the issue with my dad was so disruptive to our lives that we both decided (at separate times) to stop seeing our dad. My dad continued to pay child support right up until we entered college or university.
That was ten years ago. In that time I went from a problem child who was failing school to a student who graduated both high school and college on the honour role.
Without my father and his issues I was able to settle down and focus on what I needed to, to succeed in life.
If the situation with your ex is causing so much pain and strife to your children I think it might be best to let them be at peace and let them stop trying to get thier father's attention.
He should still be paying support because he is their father and is responsible whether he likes it or not to provide for his children no matter what the situation.
2007-01-04 01:50:58 · answer #4 · answered by Andrea F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your kids are plenty old eneough to understand life and that its not a basket or peaches... unfortunatly you need to step back and let the kids decide what is right for them..... they are old eneough to make educated choices and when the father does decide he wants to come around dont force the kids to accept him.. your kids arent children anymore they are grown maybe not legally grown but grown up eneough that they will respond in thier own way. dont force anything just step back and let what will happen happen because its the father that sounds like hes looking out in the long run and the kids will know that...... they will do what is right.... have a good day
2007-01-04 01:50:00 · answer #5 · answered by jingles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are old enough to decide whether they want to continue trying to contact him. They are under no obligation to do so just because he sends child support. Child support is not payment for staying in contact with one's kids or visitations. Child support is the support of the child's NEEDS.
2007-01-04 01:41:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's is normal for kids to want to see their dad. well he is still paying support though. so it means he still cares. but if he's not that interested to see them then don't push it anymore. they would just be frustrated. try to explain to them the situation. tell them to be strong and prove to everyone especially their father that they deserve to be happy and are capable of surviving without him.
2007-01-04 01:55:12 · answer #7 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not THEIR job to keep trying. They're the kids. It's HIS job. I say let them give it up. If bio-dad makes contact and wants to see them, encourage them to go. But don't make them keep working at making a relationship with him if it only causes them hurt.
2007-01-04 01:41:24 · answer #8 · answered by Meg M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell them to weight until they are 18teen because there dad you say is paying child sport.I Think myself would be the wright thing to do.Try and put your foot down and go to court to demand there farther to see them.You can do so.Like every other weekend if he don't he gets to pay more.
2007-01-04 01:46:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
id say u let them make that decision. at that age........they have their own ideas of who and what they would like to have in their lives..............just ask them to leave the door open and maybe take a break from him. seems like a reasonable option.
2007-01-04 01:43:14 · answer #10 · answered by blkhawk51 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋