I had sex recently about five times and it was really lousy, I kept wondering what the guy was doing to me, I liked the guy very much and couldn't understand why I wasn't responding. Now I hate sex, but still having those feelings, what is wrong. I need answers from anyone with experience or who knows anyone who has gone thru this!!
2007-01-03 17:21:36 · 15 answers · asked by lovinglife 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yes. People tend to use this to try to prove themselves or they use this as a substitute for intimacy.
2007-01-03 17:23:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been together with him for a while, it's easy to fall into a sexual rut. I guess even if you haven't been together long, but have sex a lot, you can still get into the same rut. Things can become routine, boring, predictable.
Maybe he can't satisfy you, like the others have said. If that's not the case, though, maybe he just needs to try other things. You both would need to work to keep things alive.
An important thing to remember is not let it go on if you aren't happy. If he finds out you don't enjoy it, it might hurt his feelings. It can also make you dread any future encounters. Just be open and honest with him. Maybe talking to him will improve things.
Also, for women, it's so easy to mentally "tune out". Make sure you stay focused during it. If you have to, spend a few minutes before you see him or before getting into bed to sort of "psych" yourself up. They sell books and CDs for this, but I'm sure if you just think about it and get your brain sending out those endorphins, that should do the trick.
Sometimes it can be overrated. Compared to the emotional connection, it isn't as important. Sometimes it can be a hassle if you're not into it. I understand where you're coming from, but if things are alright, this shouldn't be an issue. It should just be fun.
If the feelings are really there, I wouldn't worry :) If two people care about each other, it's easy to fix this problem! Goodluck!
2007-01-04 10:31:30 · answer #2 · answered by ZenBrain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you answered your question in the details section.
Sex is only over rated if it is not done right. and it sounds like the guy you were with had no idea of what he was doing.
so find a guy who does know what he is doing. until you do find that guy try to please your self (if you know what i mean), just practice what feels great to you on you and you can then say to your guy what you like and what you don't. there are no hard and fast rules that apply to everyone.
Everyone likes something different. You just have to figure out what you like regrds sex. and may be guys arent for you at all and girls may be better, i'm not here to judge.
it is your life live it your way.
2007-01-03 17:33:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is over rated. It seems like now if you aren't having sex and enjoying it more than anything else, there is something wrong with you. I think people sometimes just say it is so great because they think that is what they are suppose to say. You will find someone that you will love to have sex with. Don't worry about how you feel about it now. If you don't like it, don't do it.
2007-01-03 17:33:40 · answer #4 · answered by Junkyard DOG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose that there is a time in your life when you realize sex for what it is. It is not the end-all pinnacle of one's life. It is an emotion accompanied by a hormonal rush and a physical act to accompany it. Since it usually takes two people, both must be in the same state to enjoy it and each must be competent for the other.
You always have the option to enjoy your own orgasms privately.
2007-01-03 17:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We are not these bodies, IE; race color, religion,gender, nationality, mind, senses, job, etc. we are eternal spirit souls, part and parcel of the Supreme Soul, also known as Krishna, Allah, Jehovah, Vishnu, etc. This world is not our home, it is illusion (Maya) and is temporary and full of misery. If you get no pleasure from sex that meant you are probably spiritually advanced. There is nothing there as there is no taste in an old piece of chewed up gum. So we have to reconnect to the Supreme Personality of Godhead to get real pleasure beyond this material conception. go to krishnaculture. for details. Chant the Maha Mantra and Read Bhagavad Gita as it is By Bhaktivedanta PRabhupada.
2007-01-03 17:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I felt the same for about 10 years then I met a guy who actually knew what a woman wants, wow, now I am an animal with a man who reacts to what I want in bed.
2007-01-03 17:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by boxersgirlbunny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nature did not intend for sex to be Your Past Time! Neither, to be a reward/discipline action!
Taking your pantie down just for the heck of it, or to say thank you for smiling at me is not at all what it is about!
You hate sex? You should take time to see where your feelings are, FIRST!
2007-01-03 17:35:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no.
You will find someone who knows what they are doing and how to please you. Most guys think sex is a physical thing, because for us it is! But for women its emotional, why do you think so many women fake orgasm, because alotof them feel the same way you do like its over rated, with out orgasm it definately is.... they do it because in one way or another they feel emotionally connected and will satisfy the male, to allow the interaction to continue.
But anyway you will eventually find a man who knows how to satisfy you, physically and emotionally. Don't even sweat it.
2007-01-03 17:28:47 · answer #9 · answered by Akshun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but everything's overrated.
Sometimes you might not be getting a good feeling because you're just not into it. Try new things and you might find something you like.
2007-01-03 19:08:44 · answer #10 · answered by Kelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex is something to be shared with somebody you care greatly for.
used just for fun it cannot be as satisfying because there is no LOVE only intimacy just like going to work!!.
gratification will come only when you both share deep feelings toward one another.
only then will your socks get blown away!!
2007-01-03 17:36:56 · answer #11 · answered by trvrrhds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋