My husband and my best friend's husband recently started working together (they are working away from home for a week, being gone a week at a time). I knew beforehand that her husband has always had a tendancy to lie but I didn't know until recently just how much of a liar he really is. He lies to her about EVERYTHING! She loves him so much and is pretty much a gullable person. He has lied to her about money, about where he is going and what he is doing while he is off working, and all kinds of other things, even what he has eaten that day! How do I tell her he is a compulsive liar in a NICE way? Or is there even a nice way? Should I just stay out of her business and let her learn on her own? She is my best friend and is a great wife to him and a mother to their children. I hate to see her get hurt. Please HELP! It is tearing me up inside watching him crap on her like this!
2007-01-03 16:47:56 · 25 answers · asked by mother_of_a_princess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I know for a FACT he has been lying to her. I have caught him in lies myself. He even told my husband to keep his mouth shut about everything that happens at work and not to tell me anything so that I won't say anything to his wife and get him in trouble. He said, "What happens at work, stays at work."
My friend "has a feeling" he is lying to her because she has talked to me about it and has asked me what my opinion was (if I thought he was lying to her about anything). My outlook on people who lie is that if they lie about small things, they will lie about the big things also. Plus, a lie is a lie!
She has also asked that if I knew that he was lying to her about anything, to tell her. She worries a lot and it bothers her to think he is lying to her. I am just trying to look out for a friend, not be a trouble-maker.
2007-01-03 17:31:50 · update #1
Do not get involved if you value your friendship. Women like this will always chose their husbands. Sometimes you have to let it go.
2007-01-03 16:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by stupid_jupiter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, several things come to mind. First, be certain that your husband doesn't pick up his bad habits if he hasn't already since they are working together.
Then there are ways of communicating information to her without directly calling him a liar: " did your husband tell you that they went out to hooters while they were there?"
We saw your hasband at such and such a place last night and I looked for you but you must not have been there.
If it is your husbands business, you might call for a work related reason to talk to him when your husband is home and he is not to convey the information that he is out somewhere and it is not work related.
A person often hates the bearer of bad news so that if you come right out and call him a liar it may ruin the friendship but if you accidently give her the information to make that decision, it is her choice, and then you can be there for her when she does get smart and divorces him!!
2007-01-03 17:00:20 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In A Very gentle, Compassionate, Understanding kinda way because she is going to be upset depending on what he's lying about or just may just be like whatever he's a jerk just try and reassure her it's nothing she did or is doing and give her a great big hug and tell her if no one else told ya they love ya today, God Loves Ya And So Do I (Thats What Friends Do For One Another) They Love Each Other Unconditionally
2007-01-03 17:09:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's according on how serious the lies are. I'm a FIRM believer in honesty and trust and obviously she shouldn't trust him if he is lieing to her about anything. However it comes down to the point where you ask yourself, would I rather know and be in hell or not know and be happy.
Personally, I've dealt with that first hand and if the lies are not that bad, I'd rather not know, however, if they are serious, such as cheating or worse then yes, absolutely I'd want to know, and if that is whats going on then you should tell her.
If it is something that would ruin their relationship it's better for her to know now and be able to move on with her life than to live in a relationship that's going to end eventually anyway.
I wish you the best of luck with this terrible position and I hope that whatever happens she is happy in the end.
2007-01-03 17:07:23 · answer #4 · answered by Mindchser 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take it from experience, let her find on her own , she probably already knows and is in denile, just be ready to be her friend when she faces up to the truth, my bf has not alway been the best or the worst person but i never want people to tell, it is better when u find out on ur own because u do not have second doubts about what is the truth its like the old saying what u don't know can't hurt u good luck i know its hard just standing by , but if u tell and u and her fight about it , who is going to stand by her when things really go bad
2007-01-03 16:55:24 · answer #5 · answered by cemlkd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh what a tangled internet we weave...... at the start, you comprehend you tousled large time. You have been under the effect of alcohol yet this isn't any EXCUSE. even nonetheless, I comprehend which you're feeling undesirable approximately what exceeded off. you may have prevalent that he might spin the full tale in his desire. it truly is now your be conscious against his. she is going to have faith him, even nonetheless he's a bite of $h!t, because of the fact he's her husband. If he's doing this with you, he will at last cheat on her with somebody else and he or she would be able to make certain approximately it. it truly is inevitable. She would by no ability comprehend the certainty approximately what exceeded off that drunken evening, yet do YOU even comprehend the certainty? in case you have been that uncontrolled, how do you comprehend that your version of certainty is relatively what exceeded off? i don't have faith his version, are not getting me incorrect, yet are you beneficial which you even comprehend the certainty? If I have been you, i might stay far flung from those human beings. provide your pal some area. She would come back to you, as a pal, at last. she is going to desire some 0.33 celebration affirmation of what a bite of artwork her husband is earlier she starts off to think of, "Hmmm, perhaps i did not get the full tale here." stay far flung from them the two. do not even consult with that guy. provide your pal a splash area. If it would make you sense greater efficient, write her a heartfelt letter of apology. do not positioned something in writing which you do not desire made public; you may guess she would be able to coach it to her husband. additionally comprehend, merely given which you're saying sorry, she would not could settle for it. Sorry for the long answer, yet you get carry of your self right into a actual mess here. There are no easy solutions. stable success!
2016-10-19 10:51:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never a good way to tell someone something like this. You really run the risk of alienating your friend as she will most probably wonder why you want to attack her husband. It is also possible that she knows these things already and is happy to overlook them to keep her peaceful life. Keep quiet and be there for your friend if she ever needs to talk.
2007-01-03 16:56:03 · answer #7 · answered by Shirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we need to ignore things. If you feel she is enjoying her marraige and the family is united, dont mention. Leave it. Find out if these lies are effecting her in the day to day life and if she has any idea about it. It is quite possibel is already aware of it but is trying to hide it from freinds and family. many women do that. Incase she does know and she is ok with it, keep it yourself and incease she is already doubting and needs help tell her the entire thing. May be she may eveolve better.
2007-01-03 16:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A true friend loves the friend more than the friendship. If you are concerned that this is something she should know, tell her. Sit her down and tell her what you are feeling and don't forget to tell her why. It sounds like you got this information "through the grapevine" so make sure you state where you're coming from. You don't need to tell her what to do about it, just what you know. Its up to her to decide if its worth taking action, or if she wants to further investigate this for herself. Good luck.
2007-01-03 17:14:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Mom, tough one. You know that interfering in the marriage of another is a terrible thing to do. She has obviously come to terms with whatever kind of relationship she thinks they have. So has he. Your view of that relationship may or may not be accurate. If you "interfere", you may cause all sorts of problems that may never otherwise come up. You are imposing your judgment on the life of another. Be there for your friend, now and later if she really needs you. And if she asks why you didn't warn her, tell you it was her business, not yours...but you're still there for her.
2007-01-03 16:52:30 · answer #10 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need stand up and tell her like it is. Dont take no for an answer.. Stand your ground and Show her that you really do know this is happening. Be ready to be hated for a little while or be cried to. Stay strong and pray before hand. hope all is well.. good luck
2007-01-03 17:17:14 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋