Is this normal for an 11 year old?

Question

Is it normal for an 11 year old going on 12 to have a messy room??? She a messy kid no matter what. She's been that way since she was little. Is there anything i can do to get her to keep her room clean???

P.S. i've tried to throw things on the floor didnt help. I need more!!!

Answer 1

Totally normal! You're going to have bigger issues with the years (or months or days) coming. Let go of the messy room, as she grows older she'll probably realize a messy room is very claustrophobic and get in a habit of cleaning it.

Let her feel responsible for her space and suggest Goodwill-ing some things she's grown out of. You could also offer her the option of helping her re-do her room. It will give her a sense of pride for her room and belongings and possibly motivate her to keep her room clean. Plus, it would be some good quality time for you both.


Right now you should focus on the relationship because these are very hard years for a girl.

Answer 2

At age 11, she's still a kid--and rooms usually are messy! Heck, older people, some as much as 50 years older, have messy rooms (and houses). But, you state she has been this way since she was little. Have you gone in the room with her to show her how to keep a tidy room? If so, you need to lay down the law--tell her to clean it up, set a time limit, and when time is up, go in and examine it. She does nothing, gets nothing until the room meets your approval. Tough? Yes, but it will teach her she cannot be a slob forever! Time to nip it now, before it gets worse (and, it will if left unchecked!).

Answer 3

I've always had a messy room. I'm 19 and a sophmore in college. I moved out of my parents house into my own apartment last year. I keep my apartment cleaner than my mom keeps our house... but for some reason I could never keep my bedroom clean at home. I go back ot my parents house during the summer and winter break and I'm messy as usual. For some reason when I'm home I feel that it's not important to keep my room clean... like it's not my job or something. i don't have to live in my roomm... I only ahve to sleep there. I still have the rest of the house... when I'm in my apartment, it's my responsibility to keep everything in line. If something is messy there...i have to walk over hte mess.

Answer 4

Most definately yes!!!! I have a 10 year old and a 16 year old in the same room and it is a total disaster!!!! They have a beautiful bedroom set with of course a queen sized bed and the room is plenty big enough for them but they are both just slobs!!!! it drives me crazy too!!! Not giving them their allowance worked for a while , but then the older one started babysitting and making her own money so she could really care less. but they are actually really funny when they come and say " Mom , my half of the room is clean, can i please have my allowance"!! LOL
Their little brother 6 keeps his room pretty neat most of the time, but i do tend to help him out a little. I just feel that the girls should WANT to have a nice ,clean , cozy , room!!! Wrong answer!!!LOL....The really funny part of it is , is that my 16 year old is soooo clean when it comes to her body, i swear she would take ten showers a day if i let her and i just always ask her how in the world can you keep yourself so clean and go and sleep in a DIRTY room..lol....I dont know , i just dont understand kids these days ...I know when i was growing up, if my room was not clean, that was a big no-no. I did not get to go anywhere or do anything. Maybe i will try that with them now...Good luck to ya hun, i really wish i could give a little better advice on this one but i am going through it myself. Just close their bedroom doors so it doesnt drive you totally insane!!!..lol

Answer 5

My daughter is 12 and I used to beg her to clean her room! Then I got smart... when she was at school or out I would clean it and pitch everything on the floor (it was mostly junk) except clothes. She would get so mad but then after 3 times of this she started to pick her stuff up because she knew I didn't care if I threw it away or not! Try it...it works!

Answer 6

Yeah it is normal i am almost 15 and have a messy room still but i agree with the money idea.

Answer 7

Each child will have their personality within your boundaries. Your boundaries are really what you are asking about. You wonder if you should ignore something that obviously disturbs you. Let me tell you what I did in my life and see if you get anything helpful out of it.

My niece grew up with a white trash alcoholic mother. They lived on property with no running water or electricity and in three run-down trailers. Mom is so filthy that when they had a litter of puppies (to add to the 22 dogs and 15 cats) she put cat litter on the floor for them to pee on and would just sweep it out every few days. There's more, but you get the picture.

When my niece chose to live with me she was 12. She had so few possessions that she would hoard even candy wrappers. It was a slow process but teaching her to be clean was imperative to me. Part of what helped her create her own identity apart from mom.

To begin with I helped her clean her room and make decisions on what to keep and what to toss. Making a special place for special things gives them value (like a decorative coat rack for her hats and purses). She progressed in all areas as the years went by but was basically very messy, especially with her clothes. I don't like my house messy. So I made a rule. There are three places for her clothes. Hanging in the closet, in the dresser drawers, or in the laundry hamper. If I happen to check her room and find clothes on the floor I gather them up and hide them. Eventually she realizes things are missing and asks about them. I then give her the opportunity to earn them back through chores like washing my car or cleaning the fridge or she can choose to have them donated to a charity (sight unseen, no picking through the bag) I don't micro manage by dumping out her drawers and making her re-fold everything. That's mean. I'm just giving her my boundaries within which she can operate. She can decorate how she wants with posters etc..she put small nails on the wall and hung all her CD's on them, she painted one wall with "chalkboard paint" and she and her friends write little messages or slogans on that wall. She has stuffed animals everywhere. BUT, her floor is cleared and vacuumed, the bed is usually made, and clothes are usually in the three allowable spots.

Bottom line, today she's a beautiful, self assured 17 1/2 yr old, an above average student who chooses not to use drugs, nicotine, or have sex yet. She's an excellent driver, and a good friend to her peers. She works part time and is very dependable. Her goal is to become a nurse and she will be an excellent one. When her mom calls here drunk, she's respectful but clear that she won't talk to her while she's drinking. Call later, mom. I think teaching her my boundaries helps her create some of her own.

You have taught your daughter many things by the time she's 11. How to keep her room tidy is just another lesson. Don't fret about hampering her spirit. Kids need boundaries as part of your love.

Answer 8

its normal . i live at home wiht my mom still (im 19) and still have a messy room sometimes.. i try to keep it clean though lol

you can get her to keep her room clean by possibly offering a quarter for everyday her room is clean. the money will add up! or maybe dimes or nickles.

Answer 9

Yes. Trust me i've always had a messy room.

Answer 10

hahaha im also a very messy person it drives my mom crazy to but she says that when i get into my own house that i will be more incline to keep it cleaner.....some people are born clean ppl and some are messy ppl its just how it is