I always go after men that are like 20 years older than me. I am only 18 and i know that none of these men will ever actually care about me, and there are lots of guys my own age that want to be with me, and i never give them the time of day. There is a guy that i work with that is 37 and we have messed around a few times, but we always stop because we know how wrong it would be if we were to sleep with eachother. This isnt the first time it has happened, and i have been with a lot of older men, but i know that i can never be with someone who is married, or is way too old for me. I dont think that this is a healthy way to think, and i dont know why i do this to myself when i can find a nice guy my own age that will actually care about me.
2007-01-03 15:51:13 · 6 answers · asked by chelsea3578 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Was there a good father figure in your life? If not, that may explain why you are attracted to the older men. You will be able to find a nice guy closer to your age when you stop chasing the older ones around. Nice guys close to your age do exist, you just can't see them because you are busy chasing 30 plus men around. All the best.
2007-01-03 15:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by hbuckmeister 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you recognize the futility of your attraction to older men is encouraging. Most girls in your situation don't give it a second thought - they adore the fact that older men are attracted to them and they don't question it.
Because you are concerned, I would suggest that you find a competent counselor (school, church, professional) that you can discuss this issue with. My guess is that there is a gap in your life that the attraction of older men is filling right now. Rather than wait for a disaster to occur before you seek enlightenment, do it now. It probably has something to do with an older male in your life - father, brother, uncle, grandfather - some unfulfilled emotional need the leads you to seek the attention of an older man.
Don't put this off. Find out what's going on as soon as possible. In the meantime, lay off of any relationships with older men. Focus on you.
2007-01-03 23:58:11 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a problem with you liking older men,but I would steer clear of married men of course. What you need to find is someone who wants to have a lasting relationship with you,wheather that person is around your age or older.
2007-01-04 00:50:42 · answer #3 · answered by Brad H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one question that enters my mind mostly is~what was the relationship w/your father like? Were you abandoned? DId he leave or was he extremely distant?
When I was your age, I dated an older guy at the time.
Felt exactly like you did too---was crazy over him but knew it wouldn't work because of the maturity difference.
anyway, if I were you I'd be VERY careful.......suppose you got pregnant by one of these older guys? like an older MARRIED man? OR just someone you felt like it wouldn't work out with in the end........think about it..about your life
2007-01-03 23:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by deirdrefaith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are missing the warmth of the parents especially the father and you are looking for someone to replace that emptiness in your life as well as being the byfriend in the same time. just remember if you go out with some one who is 40 and you are 18 by the time you are forty he will be 62 are you ready for that ?
2007-01-03 23:56:43 · answer #5 · answered by Sniffeur 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men who are that much older than you only want one thing. They want to get in your pants. They aren't looking for a serious relationship.
You need to focus on people who are in your age group especially if you are around nice guys who are legitimately interested in you for who you are...
Stay away from guys who are that much older. They are just cradle robbers and you don't want to accidentally end up pregnant because they aren't going to help you raise a baby...
2007-01-03 23:56:40 · answer #6 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋