Who gets to claim the grandbabies if they live with us the grandparents. We are having a hard time this.?

Question

One grandbaby is 13 1/2 months old and has olny lived outside of our home for maybe 2 whole months. The other baby is 9 months old has has lived here for 6 months. The parents totally believe that they should be able to claim their child on income tax when we have raised them and never asked for a penny and they have never offered. The oldest child lives in our home because of CPS. I think our children are being selfish and not thinking about us. Oh might I mention that my daughter and her baby lives with us. My son and his pregnant wife and baby lives with us. These are the kids not thinking of us only of themselves. Got any input?

Answer 1

Well, you have two issues to deal with:

1) How do you take away from your own children a tax exemption that is rightfully theirs without pissing them off?

2) Can you actually do it?

I'll let you decide on the first one, it's your family, and you bear the risks of any future turmoil you create. Funny, you also seem to bear the risks of the turmoil THEY create. Welcome to parenthood!

Here's the way it works:

There are six tests that you have to pass in order to claim the exemption, and from the information you gave, you pass all six of them.

Then come the tie-breaker rules when a dispute arises. When the IRS is faced with two or more people trying to claim the same dependant, and both of them pass all the tests, this is the way they do it:

If only one of the taxpayers claiming the exemption is the child's parent, the parent get's the claim. (It looks like this one applies to you.)

If both are parents, the one who lived with the child the longest gets the claim.

If both are parents and the child lived an equal amount of time with both, the claim goes to the one who made the most money (presumed to have payed the most in support).

If none of them are parents, the claim goes to the highest income.

Because you have a CPS arrangement, you may be able to file a motion with the IRS to get the exemption. They will simply need a copy of the judgment, and you need to show that the children lived with you more than half the year and less than half the year with either parent. If this is the case, they fail one of the 6 tests and you get the claim.

(I'll throw you a bone: you could try bribery. Have your taxes done with and without the children. Then ask your son/daughter to do the same and see who gets the biggest refund. Whenever I'm doing someone's taxes and something like this comes up, my policy is to try to award the FAMILY the most $$, not the individuals. You could actually be so obstinate that the government gets to keep your hard earned dollars while you duke it out, and that's damn shame--they don't deserve it! When you figure out who gets the most, split the difference with them.)

Answer 2

This info is for the USA - I'm not sure from your question where you live.

Fairness would say that you can claim them. And if they lived with you over half the year, you legally can claim the grandkids.

But there's a possible problem. Oddly enough, if a parent of the child also lives there for more than half the year with the child, then that parent could claim the child even if you are the ones supporting the whole group of them. And if more than one person is legally allowed to claim them, then the parent will be able to if they want to rather than the grandparents. Not fair, but that's how the law reads. If neither parent of these grandchildren lives with you for over half the year, but the grandchild does, then the parent couldn't claim them and you could, but it sounds from your question like the parents live there too. So unless they agree not to claim them, they can and you can't.

You're right, your children are thinking of themselves and nobody else. Unfortunately, as long as they're allowed to act this way, they'll probably continue it. I can understand you would be hesitant to kick them out though, with the babies involved. Sometimes there aren't any real good solutions.

Good luck.

Answer 3

1st - for you to be able to claim your grandchildren the safest thing to do is have your children sign a claim of exemption form, which will give you the strongest form to present the IRS if there are any questions. Second, if your children do claim their children then I would suggest they use that money to find themselves a home. If not then I would definitely let them know the "buck stops here". Because, yes in reality you have provided over 50% of their needs, but as the IRS always requests "PROOF" well that sometimes is not as easy as you think. So take no chances & take no prisoners, it is either them giving their approval, or the door. Because I know you love your grandchildren, but as long as you continue to be your children's main source of survival they will play this game. If they want the benefits of your loving home then the requirements include a signature on the "so-called" dotted line, the least they can do for your continued support. By the way you can go to www.irs.gov and print the form out & have them sign it, all in about 10 minutes. Tell them 10 minutes & a signature or there's the door and don't let it hit you on the way out. Because, when all is said and done believe me they know they are better off this way, you may just have to take a little time to remind them.

Answer 4

Talk to a therapist and to a lawyer. You may be in violation of some law if your oldest grandchild lives with you because of CPS placing that one in your home, taking him or her away from the parents, and then the parents moved in with you.
The lawyer can tell you what you need to do to claim them on your income tax return and to prove that you are their main support.
You could use the therapist or counselor because if you blindside them with action to get the tax returns you can cause resentment and harm to all that may not be worth the monetary gain even where you are entitled to it.
I think since you said you haven't asked them for anything that is part of the problem. Sure, you'd love them to at least offer, but they have learned to take things for granted.
That is also where the therapist comes in. You need to be able to set expectations and boundaries, and you have a right to be in on their goals since they are living in your house.
Hope this can be worked out. I don't envy you! Glad your grandchildren have a place to stay because of you.

Answer 5

If you are doing (...I believe 50% or more) anything for a child of a parent, who does less or nothing...you get to claim them for income tax purposes. I speak from experience for me and my wife who have raised our 2 grandchildren for about 10 years now under similar circumstance's as yours. We have never had any problems with the IRS during all of this time. For me, this is a case wherein "THE IRS ROCKS"! If your grown children say "no" and that they are going to claim... you may want to consider reporting them... if in fact you both file. Reporting them is never good for any present or future family bonding between you and them as it strains the relationship, especially if they are bullies to you. Just be loving but firm(determined) in your position should you go that route. Wishing you the best in this matter.

Answer 6

As long as they have lived with you for the entire year and you pay at least 50% of their living expenses, you legally are able to claim them on your tax return.

Answer 7

This is all quite awfull..as far as income tax goes only the parents can claim..I would hope that you freeloading kids would pass on the tax beneifits at least..

I feel for you