My ex boyfriend was abusive to me sometimes,but he's been gone 3 months going on 4 months soon & has not been in contact with
me. I talked to a family member of his who said that he has -
changed and is getting his life right. She was very convincing but
I feel that I would be to afraid to take him back.
Do abusers ever change?
2007-01-03 15:37:02 · 23 answers · asked by Diana A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are three appropriate answers to your question...
1. no
2. NO!
3. HELL NO!
They don't even deserve the right to win someone back.
2007-01-03 17:03:25 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he will never change.. Screw him Lose him you can do so much better than someone like that. Don't feel bad for that person.. Thats why people that hurt other people go to jail or get restraining orders.. Its bad.. You never know he may get too mad just one time.. You ever watch CSI or Law & Order. As a child I went through abuse and that person never changed and other people I know didnt' change.. Its not just a good idea things can't be changed they can only be rebuilt...
Really Consider your Options
2007-01-03 23:41:18 · answer #2 · answered by Jodi Mae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rarely. Many women marry abusive men thinking they will change. They wind up with a black eye, a divorce decree and alimony/child support payments. The bottom line is that this is an unnecessarily risky play. Find somebody else.
2007-01-03 23:40:09 · answer #3 · answered by jhartmann21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that an abuser can change. But they have to change b/c they want to. I think a person that abuses others has issues with themself, like depression or a mental disorder. Once that person resolves the issues within, they are no longer the person they used to be.
2007-01-03 23:41:57 · answer #4 · answered by apye1984 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry but once an abuser always a loser. because 99.9% of people who are like that can't or don't want to change,or they are a victim of some sort of abuse as a child and they think that is how normal people function.before i would take him back i would suggest some form of counseling.
2007-01-04 04:06:44 · answer #5 · answered by LaRie c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will change only when he hits rock bottom and is so devastated by something that he chooses to change. but most of the time the changes are short lived, as the abuse is caused by something inside themselves. my daughter's ex abused my daughter and also his ex before my daughter, he would change for awhile but the same old behaviors would resurface whenever he would get stressed, and angry. he had to blame someone, someone other than himself.
2007-01-04 08:27:41 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess anything is possible but I've never heard of an abuser changing without MAJOR amounts of thereapy and anger management. If he hasn't at least attempted anger management I'd steer clear of him.
2007-01-04 01:43:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do Leopards change their spots? Never! Do not take him back, move on. There are alot of nice guys out there. Do not waste your energy on negative people. Stay positive! Good Luck!
2007-01-03 23:39:49 · answer #8 · answered by Paul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, abusers change into killers
he already abused you, what in the world would make you even think about taking him back?
never mind, i really don't want to know, i already figured it out
2007-01-03 23:44:20 · answer #9 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes they do, they change from the right hook to the left hook. do not take him back. if he really has or wants to change, he should be involved in anger management or domestic abuse counseling. you could also use some support. contact your local domestic violence program...your YMCA can probably lead you in the right direction.
2007-01-03 23:44:17 · answer #10 · answered by grace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋