Several years ago I found out my husband was having long calls with his exgirlfriend. We had it out and he promised not to contact her again. Last year after our son left for the army I was packing up his things and found a letter from the ex to my son with a SASE (which he never used) talking about how hubby and she talked about "what might have been" how hubby has discussed every problem in our marriage with her since day 1, she still had feeling for him etc. I confronted hubby and he said I was jealous, they were just friends, he can't help the way she feels etc. I was going to leave but he said he wouldn't contact her again. Well come to find out they contact via MySpace, Yahoo, when my husband is alone at work they log in at the same time and her name and number are still on his cellphone speed dial! I have had hang up phone calls that I know are her, it says "out of area" so I can't prove it and he doesn't belive it. My heart is broken, I cry all the time and my trust destroyed.
2007-01-03 15:20:46 · 12 answers · asked by glenshadowswolf 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to sit down and talk to him about it.
2007-01-03 15:25:03 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats terrible!
I dont know why some people make a vow and commitment to someone knowing that someone else is still on their mind!! Why did he even bring you into the picture if he wants to be with his ex!! You can either do the following things:
You said he was going to break things off with her iff you left him right? So why not have him call the skank on speaker phone to break things off with her while you're standing right there??
or
Leave him until he can get her out of his system..You DONT deserve this..How would he feel if you were talking to your ex?? Its a husbands job to put his wife first and if he cant even do that he deserves no one!! Tell the ***** to get a life next time she calls..
Its you who spent months carrying HIS baby and then hours delivering him!! Its you with the ring on your finger!! And it's you laying in his bed night after night..You are the wife and if I didnt stand so strong on marriage I'd tell you to leave the guy and to take the wh0re with him..
Definitley talk with him..Tell him its hurting you, and if he doesn't stop talking to her (with proof) then its over..Remind of the reason they split up in the first place
Good luck in whatever you try, No married woman should have to put up with this
Maybe the idiots deserve eachother
2007-01-03 23:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by IceQueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he won't stop contact with her, then he is putting her first, not you and your feelings. Sounds like he has some things of his own to work out and see where his priorities really lie.
Life is short, and we all deserve to be treated as though there is no one more special on this earth by our partners. If he is not willing to put you first, and leave his past in the past, perhaps it is time that he becomes your past, and you find someone who will cherish you for who you are, and not break your heart and your trust.
2007-01-03 23:27:12 · answer #3 · answered by Julie c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sumtimes it is just realli hard to want to have your husband to yourself.. its not easy.. but as an woman only we have to work things out..you have to be certain about what you would want from the person u love.. n if he loves u in just the same way.. if he doesn't then it is no more love.. it is just a mere marriage for the name.. to make it work.. u have to tok to him.. tell him how u feel instead of crying to him or shouting at him becoz man normally get sick of our tears and screams... ask him if he wld be k if u kept contact wif your exbf.. make him feel what u r feeling.. then he definetly wld understand... if you think u do not want this animore then think of your children... marriage is a bond that we forged not for ourselves but for the offsprings we would produce.. they are not destined to face the pain of not having one parent becoz of our own disappointments in life.. oni a women can be strong at heart and you have to always be an example of that...
2007-01-03 23:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by girlonherown 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like something i had happen to me when i was married to my EX some times all it is is friends try talking to him again you never know tell him how you feel and how this is all makeing you feel and if it just does nto get any better then leve hunny you need better if he can't understand that he's hurting you
2007-01-03 23:30:59 · answer #5 · answered by Havana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Secretly contact your lawyer.
I'm serious. You have already told him that it bothers you, he continues to do it, and it doesn't sound to me as if it's "innocent". If he can't respect your feelings and needs and your place as his wife, he doesn't need or want to be married. He wouldn't be defensive and call you jealous (and then sneak around and continue to contact her) if this was innocent. Innocent or not, he shouldn't be concealing it from you, and he should respect your feelings enough to stop it.
2007-01-03 23:29:48 · answer #6 · answered by sparticle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This one probably requires some serious professional counseling because it's still a form of emotional adultery.
2007-01-03 23:40:58 · answer #7 · answered by kakolikapiha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down and have a frank discussion with them and then decide where you want to go from there depending on how the talk goes
2007-01-03 23:32:32 · answer #8 · answered by singledad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you putting up with this? He doesn't deserve you. If he cares more about his ex, than you, then let him go. You should tell him where to go and move on.
2007-01-03 23:37:23 · answer #9 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he doesnt want to work this out, which it sounds like he wants to keep talking to her. leave him stop being miserable.
2007-01-03 23:58:40 · answer #10 · answered by hamhead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋