why do some abusers take out their anger and humiliate one child, but can have a good relationship with their other children, causing a "family scapegoat" kind of situation?
2007-01-03 14:32:15 · 7 answers · asked by ☺☻☺☻☺☻ 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yes I did read that book, its kind of what got me thinking about it.
2007-01-04 15:37:35 · update #1
that child reminds them of the thing they hate
2007-01-03 14:37:18 · answer #1 · answered by spagetti7 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the "scapegoat" situation is the most obvious reason, the one you mentioned in you're own answer.
Cause having a scapegoat, they think, is going to relief and release their own tensions.
And of course it doesn't. Human cruelty does just the opposite, always. And it reveals the parent for the Bully and the Tyrant that they are, much more than the parent even realizes. Chances are the neighborhood isn't fooled by what appears, either.
The other siblings do not go unscathed by this behavior. In fact, they may be the biggest victims of abuse.
If they felt they should have done something, then they suffer from guilt that can be potentially damaging to they're whole lives.
And if they do nothing, even though they are helpless to do anything really often, or were in days gone by when parents had more power than today, then they may grow up thinking they actually benefited from the treatment of the "scapegoat", on a subconcious level.
And thus they will often suffer from repressed guilt, and in cases where they believe they benefitted, intolerable cruelty and an inability to maintain any kind of normal relationship in they're lives.
I believe in some cases people can get through all these situations undamaged and unscathed.
It is not my belief to further victimize victims. They can be survivors, too.
2007-01-03 14:43:49 · answer #2 · answered by smoothsoullady 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Strange you brought that up, but it is not a strange occurence. Have you ever read the novel "A Child Called It" by Dave Pelzer? That book is insane. Literally. It talks about a boy, who was singled out by his mother and she tortured him and did some very sick stuff to him. Years and years of abuse only led to a messed up child, but why him? Why weren't his brothers abused as he was? Why was he the target of humiliation and beatings? It is a little thing called favoritism. Favoritism happens more and more, and it's something that is hidden. Favoritism is when parents (mainly) like to look at one kid over the other. One of their children may be a huge athlete, while the other is just a loser. That athletic child gets all the attention and all the love, but what about that other kid? It is an interesting concept, but the "family scapegoat" situtation falls under the category of favoritism. Thanks.
2007-01-03 14:38:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have noticed situations like that too and it is usually the first born that get the backlash of it. maybe the parent blames the child for their unmet goals in life
2007-01-03 14:36:54 · answer #4 · answered by Lin_Z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They don't want to f@ck all of them up. Who will care for them when they are old? Better to choose a "beater" kid. It's like having a nice car, and a station wagon to drive back and forth to the store. Some kids get to be the station wagon.
2007-01-03 14:36:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The abused one might just remind the abuser of another abuser.
2007-01-03 14:34:06 · answer #6 · answered by sabotagecowboy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my mom beat us both guess she had more anger
2007-01-03 14:34:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋