Do you like this poem?
Dear Mr. Jesus
Dear Mr.Jesus will you listen
Today something scared me when I saw it on the news
So I thought I would talk to you about this
I saw a story where a little girl was beaten by her parents black and blue
Her parents were taken away
She was so small, but yet they crushed her with their bare hands
Dear Mr. Jesus help them change and be better
Show them love and compassion and help them understand
Dear Mr.Jesus keep your children safe
And shelter us from the storm
When the rain pours hard
Won't you keep us warm
Dear Mr.Jesus
They say that she may die
Help her pain ease
And dry the tears she cries
I feel better now, after having this talk
Lost in this world, I'm confused
I'll tell you something, but don't tell daddy
But my mommy hits me too
Dear Mr. Jesus keep your children safe ....
2007-01-03 14:29:00 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
its cool
2007-01-03 23:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by traveller 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That was beautiful, I really liked your poem, It has the right touch for this crazy fu*king world. I hear all kinds of stories about children being abused b/c my mom Is a social worker. It's not going to get any better b/c the world Is getting crazy, but we as a society can make It better by loving our children and keeping them safe.
2007-01-03 14:35:35 · answer #2 · answered by twofroggiesand1princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good poem, very sweet and touching, everyone should pray for people that get beaten and pray for the drunks that they can get sober and have a good life, and pray for the drug addict to get clean so they stop hurting them selves and those around them. People should pray for everyone in the world. If they did, maybe then someone out there might have a better life?
2007-01-03 16:38:42 · answer #3 · answered by Danny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its beautiful and very touching. I think you need an extra paragraph just before the end. It cuts the reader off abruptly after a new concern has come out. I wanted to hear more.
oxoxo
2007-01-03 14:33:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i belive the point of the point is good (children being beaten), but i dissagree with the 'dear Mr. jesus'. of course i am agnostic and i have nuthin against u, but i dont think u should depend on a spiritual being to take care of ur problems. honey, u need to face the 'real world' and take matters in ur own hands, sumtimes a little hope is ok, but leaning on it isnt. instead of 'wishing' go out thier and fight for the demolition of child abuse. when u walk by that can, donate. but i do think the poem is good. dont hate me, i am just confused and undecied, trying to find a way....
2007-01-03 14:35:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
i love it... like a previous statement the last two lines dont flow so well but all in all it is very beautifull, if you wrote that you are good and should keep writing, i love to think that there are other people in this world than the loosers who post crap for simpathy or gossip or spread hate, i hate thoes people and it is refreshing to know there are people who are still good... thank you for not giving in...
live
love
prosper
2007-01-03 14:43:43 · answer #6 · answered by popeye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it but I would change some of the wording in the first 2 versus it doesnt flow as good. But yah you should keep writing poetry you are good at it.
2007-01-03 14:32:17 · answer #7 · answered by goodmommy22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats a re-written version.. theres another version .. check it out.. thers also a video with a girl singing the song.. very cute and touching..
http://mrmom.amaonline.com/special/DearMrJesus.htm
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6830471569796392190
2007-01-03 18:16:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it, but it was cut off wayy too fast at the end, and i wanted to read more....but it was very nicely written.
2007-01-03 14:45:56 · answer #9 · answered by Bri~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes, very well written!
2007-01-03 14:32:00 · answer #10 · answered by wiscountrygirl89 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sad but i like it also tear jerking
2007-01-03 14:32:41 · answer #11 · answered by phaed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋