Should a gay elementary teacher come out to coworkers?

Question

I am getting tired of all the homophobic remarks made by men and women. I teach in a huge urban school district and the students there rarely bring up the subject. The adult staff members talk as if they hate gay and lesbian teachers. I have even been in professional development workshops when the presenter used the word f--!

Answer 1

You might want to be careful about this.

Legally speaking, teachers have a constitutional right to be openly gay and the Board of Ed cannot fire you.

The Supreme Court handed downt that ruling in 1971 in a case called Gaylord v Tacoma Board of Education

Yes, the openly gay middle school teacher in that case was actually named "Mr Gaylord" - I'm sure he had more than his fair share of homophobic jokes from his more immature male students!

In any case, your school district cannot fire you.

I'm not sure if your AFT or NEA, but I'm sure your union has anti discrimination langauge in your contract.

With that said, your collegues might be very homophobic and they might make your life miserable if you came out of the closet to them. So be careful

Answer 2

In certain counties and states, teachers can be dismissed for being GLBT, having a child out of wedlock, or other "immoral" activities. I would NOT come out to my coworkers if I were a teacher. As much as you want to, it could cause you to lose your job (whether or not they admit it is because your GLBT), gain a bad reputation, or even get out to parents who might not want their children being taught by a "sexually immoral person." I don't think that sexuality should be an issue in an elementary school, or anywhere for that matter, but the truth it, that it DOES matter to people, especially when their children are involved. I have been a pre-school teacher, and I'm going to school to be an elem ed teacher. I would NEVER let anyone that I work with know, because they could easily hold it over my head or get me fired at any time.
As for the comments, I would take them straight to the top of your district. Without coming out, I'd explain to them that ANY slurs of any kind are unprofessional and unacceptable in a public school, where children from all different kinds of families are taught.
It is not just a gay issue, it is a diversity issue, and diversity should be celebrated in the adult world, and certainly not hated by people who work within the public school systems.
I have even questioned whether or not I should go into the public schools for this exact reason. I feel like I'm lying if I'm don't tell people, especially close friends (who I'm sure I'll make in my career), but you never know when those people will turn on you, or really, truely feel that being a homosexual teacher is wrong. But I will adore every child that I teach, and I know that making a real difference in their lives and teaching a love for learning keeps me in the field.
If worse comes to worse, go get your masters and then you'll be able to teach education classes to adults, and your sexuality won't matter. (at least you can do that in my state)
Good luck, and always remember why you began teaching in the first place.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry to hear that you have to put up with that kind of nonsense. Technically speaking, if coworkers are constantly making rude or hateful comments about gays and lesbians, they are guilty of "hostile environment" sexual harassment. If there is anyone who seems to be doing it intentionally to belittle or embarrass you, you could speak to a supervisor/higher level administrator and complain about the situation. Professionals should know better than to make comments of a sexual or gender-oriented nature around coworkers. Many a company and school district has been sued for allowing that kind of environment to persist. I wouldn't personally recommend you take it that far, however, but you certainly could speak to the teachers' union you belong to in order to find out about how to file an official complaint without getting harassed even worse.

I certainly wouldn't recommend coming out, however, because it will only complicate matters. If a few people have figure it out, then so be it, but if you declare it in front of everyone, the homophobes will make your life a living Hell. Try to find a few sympathetic friends who are more open-minded, and ignore everyone else if you can help it.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

I would not recomment that you come out to coworkers because it can eventually leave to you loosing your job. I say that because you have to understand you being a homosexual in the school system won't be accepted. For one, you are working with peoples children and the fact that you are a homosexual can make parents and possibly administrators uncomfortable. Not saying that you are a child molester but that is the flag that will be raised. Secondly, some parents raise their children telling them that homosexuality is wrong and they are basing this on thier religious or spiritual teachings...this will be an issue you will also have to face. It could eventually lead to parents removing their children from your class. I know that being gay has nothing to do with your teaching ability, your personality or your moral ethics at least to you...but it is something that others may find offensive. The school system is a very tricky at times...it is best that you keep your personal lifestyle away from your job.

Answer 5

It would be best to "play it safe". Discussing something like this in the workplace is not appropriate. Someone could easily deem it as sexual harassment. Personally, I am straight, but I can imagine the difficulty and pain that you must face on a daily basis. Regardless of your feelings, I would recommend "biting your tongue". Surely there is someone close to you that you can talk to and help you through situations like these. If someone (IE: faculty/staff) offends you by saying something inappropriate, I would think long and hard before addressing the issue with a supervisor etc. I say this, because someone's job might be at stake and/or your life may become even more difficult after the accusation.

Answer 6

Do a little research before you come out at work. If you read your contract or system's sode of conduct, somewhere you will find a morality clause. That can be used against you depending on the over all view of the people in the system. Many people still view homosexuality as immoral behavior. Also check your schools non-discrimination policy. If it includes sexual orientation and you do a good job, you are protected. If sexual orientation is not included in the non-discrimination policy, I advise you to be careful. Just for the record, it is illegal for students or fellow teachers to ask you if you are gay.

Answer 7

It's tricky...as far as I'm concerned personal's personal and work's work...so i've never divulged to anyone that I've worked with that I'm bisexual (not that being a bisexual woman has the same stigmatism attached as being gay...male or female) but as far as I was concerned there was nobody at my workplace that actually "needed" to know. It's not like if there was an accident and I was unconscious the information that I'm a bisexual woman would help the paramedics in any way.

While MOST people are aware that being gay does NOT equate to somebody who likes "little boys" (hence a reason to be concerned for the students well being) there are still enough people (like the workshop presenter you mentioned) that could make your life at work hard (if not pure hell)...

So it all boils down to...I would say, probably not great to "come out" to your coworkers, unless there's the odd one or two that you know very well...well enough to know that they wouldnt ostrasize you for it (or blab about it)

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with being gay/lesbian. It does not matter if the person works in a kindergarten or in a bank, or in a bar... People should treat other people with respect and that's it. Being gay/lesbian does not mean that the person is a psycho looking for weird sex stuff... I am a lesbian and I am a person who has principles and was born and raised in a christian family. I love kids and hang around them all the time, parents know it and they love my and my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I have a very happy respect full life. I show respect for others and others show respect for me.

Answer 9

Yes, they absolutely should. Although it isn't really anyone's business, it's a golden opportunity to change how people you.

If a kid gets molested and there speculation that you're gay, you're automatically a pedophile AND guilty. I'm not saying it's right, but that's what happens. It causes so much rage and people want to have this wrapped up right away. They want to skip ahead to punishment.

Anyway, if your coworkers know that you're gay, they'll probably look at you a little closer. If you aren't a pedophile, they'll see that. If the accusations ever fly, they'll be your staunchest supporters.

Answer 10

Sure there should be no discrimination against a person because they are gay, but get real. You could end up loosing your job by telling the group you are gay. It would be my recommendation to keep quite about it.

It is inappropriate and possibly against the school rules for someone to be discussing their sexual preferences, and especially a person giving or leading a discussion.

When there is inappropriate talk it is best to not dignify it with a response. If it is a sexually related joke then do not smile, just walk off.

Do not lower yourself to their level. Be professional.