My daughters father wants to start having her one week and i have her the other alternate week.
I just dont know how this will work, how will it affect her?
Anyone got any schedule ideas that work?
Does anyone do this successfully?
2007-01-03 14:20:04 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
it can work... but... and the but is a tough one... both parents need to be positive about the time she spends with the other parent.....
the day before she goes to dads place just say... wow tomorrow you are going to dads... that is so great...
and say generally positive things about the arrangement to her and within her hearing...
wow she is so lucky she has two homes to live in...
basically it will effect her the way she is told it will affect her... if she hears it said "this is disruptive.. she gets dragged back and forth.." then lo and behold you will have a disrupted child that feels dragged back and forth...
if she hears you say this is such a good arrangements she gets to spend lots of good time with dad and with me.... then she will feel positive about the situation..
at 3 yo you can basically form her feelings and opinions about this situation.... so be positive and enable her to spend a lot of tie with her dad...
and if you learn to fill the time while she is away productively and ensure you enjoy the time out too it will be a win-win for everyone..
when she gets to school age you may need to rethink things a bit to ensure some stableness about school... unless of course you and dad live near one another then she can simply continue to spend week about with you and him..
2007-01-03 16:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend of mine has 2 young children and her and her husband have 50/50 custody. They do one week each. The children and parents are both very happy with this agreement and it seems to work well.
A week is a long enough time so that each parent can get quality time with the child, but not too long that the child starts to miss either parent too much.
The usually arrange for pick up and swap over just before the childrens bedtime on sunday nights
2007-01-04 11:05:29 · answer #2 · answered by Minerva 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a teacher I experienced a similar situation. It was recommended by the courts as well as by a child psychologist that a child 4 and under should really only spend one to two nights away from their primary custodian (residential) parent. As the child gets oldler longer visits can take place. As far as school aged children it can be difficult with the child/student keeping track of their homework from one house to the next. Manipulation can happen in situations where the parents do not actively work together and support eachother. You'll have to base your decision on what you feel that is likely to happen based on the relationship you have with the other parent. Always keeping in mind what is going to help foster your child for his/her best interest in the long run.
2007-01-03 14:28:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants to get out of paying child support. Ask a professional, but I think alternate weeks are too disruptive for a 3 year old's schedule.
2007-01-03 14:23:08 · answer #4 · answered by Helpful Kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The main thing you should worry about is how your daughter feels about this.
You need to talk to her. She will tell you what she thinks and feels about this. ( even at 3 )
2007-01-03 14:22:38 · answer #5 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋