Does this mean war?

Question

My best friend is super insecure. I recently moved to a small town, and made friends very quickly. One of the friends I made was Lisa. I thought she was nice because she showed me around and introduced me to all of her friends (especially guy friends) Within two weeks all the boys that used to LOVE her now want to go out with me, and all her friendships are deteriorating because she screams at all the guys for being nice to me, and all the girls for spilling her secrets. None of this is true, but it has been two months, and I have apparently 'taken over' the relationships it took her whole life to build. Literally. I feel bad, but now I realize how unstable she is and can't stand to be around her anymore. I feel even more horrible that her boyfriend of 7 months broke up with her for me. (I'm not going out with him, although I like him. It wouldn't be right) I have not been flirting with these people, I have not been acting any different with them than others. Should I drop them, or her

Answer 1

its nice to b nice tell her wat the story is

Answer 2

Personally, I don't think that you should drop either. It isn't fair that she is telling you not to hang out with her friends. Believe me, I've been in that situation before. I think that the reason that she is acting the way that she is is because she is insecure about losing her friends. It is a perfectly natural reaction, and it will take her a while to get over it. Perhaps you could tell the friends that she "had first" her insecurities so that they can assure her that they are still her friends. I'm sure that she will come around eventually. From what you have said, she is, or at least was, a good friend of yours. Don't drop her if you two had something good. Good luck.

Answer 3

It sounds like you are a big hit. I think you should be sure to continue to include her in your social life since she is the one who introduced you to everyone. It wouldn't be right to just move in, take over and then dump her. She probably feels a little hurt that her friends are treating her this way.....wouldn't it bother you? I would also be careful of people who just turn away from old friends at the drop of a hat. That doesn't say much for them either. The bottom line is to try to keep her involved with your new group of friends and let her know that you appreciate her friendship. After all, you wouldn't know all of those people if it hadn't been for her help.

Answer 4

You have no reason to make war with anyone do you? From your description it sounds to me like you are somehow taking on responsibility for how other people react to Lisa, & you.
You have no control over any of them. If you can't stand to be around her, did it ever occur to you that the others may have come to the same conclusion on their own?
Did you deliberatly steal her boyfriend, or did he just decide to break up with her on his own. Just because he says he did it to be with you doesn't mean that you are the cause.

Sit down with Lisa, & tell her all the things that she did when you 1st met her that made you want to be her friend. Tell her all of the things about her that you know make her a good person. Then tell her all of the things that she is doing to sabotage the relationship she has with you, & with others.
When you speak to her, speak in the "I", not the "you". What I mean is, instead of saying "Lisa, you are acting insecure", say "I feel bad for you when you ....." By talking about your own experience with her she will be more inclined to see things from your own point of view.
I always find it is easier to make friends than it is to make war.
Cheers!