Is this true?

Question

My Dad says that a guy can never truly be friends with a girl without having intentions of becoming more than friends. Even if the girl is too imature or unavailable or too young, he just puts her on the back burner so that he can get her when she's older or when she breaks up with the person she's with so he can "be there for her." Is this true?

Answer 1

I don't think your dad means that it is absolutely true, but such behavior in males is quite prevalent. This is shown by the evidence of acquaintance rape. Your dad wants to forewarn you to arm you. There are exceptions to this, as you see them every day. Remember, though, we live in the real world, not in some social science construct of the " moralistic fallacy ". These people on this site often see the world as they want it to be , not as it really is. So, just take your dad's advice as an exaggerated warning and leave at that.

Answer 2

In my opinion, There is the posibility of friendship between a man and a woman, i my self have had a lot of man friends. Anyway, it's true as well, that some friendship migth end up with some other kind of relation.
What is important about what you say is that the man is older - than you if that's the case - and that is what should make you think.
Look at the other answers, and many of they say they have been friends with a girl since fourth grade, perhaps, so that's because they are the same age, they have the same interest, they have shared growing up together.
That's diferent to a grown up man, being friend with a younger girl.I can't say for sure he is looking for something else, but i understand your father being worried about it.
You have to be real careful, remember that being friend is when both are supporting each other, and not only when he is a three and you can rely on him, that's kind of dangerous.
Be mature, be inteligent, and look at the signals, you will notice the real intencions of that person. And be careful, you have to look after your self.
Good luck.

Answer 3

I hope this doesn't tick off the guys, I don't think it will, though. Cause' they know how they are too.

I'd have to say Yes, you're Dad is watching out for you and giving you very sound advice.

You are a very lucky girl cause it can take years of learning that the hard way, and I mean the Hard Way!

Like when you think you are safe just out walking by yourself and it turns out that you are not!

And knowing the person coming the other way can even put you higher at risk. Cause' it's gonna be easier for him to buddy up, he thinks.

Here's the advice I was given. If you don't want to end up being with too many. Don't take rides alone in cars, get someone to ride along with the two of you. Three can be more fun, too, and more of a challenge for him. And he can get to know you much better.

And whatever obvious things you can think of, like not being alone in to quiet a place after dark, etc. You're mind will come up with the ways to protect.

I can see you are a smart, good, sweet girl. Stay exactly that way as long as you can. Getting around is not worth it, self esteem or health wise! Stay as sweet as you are! And be careful. For you're own peace of mind.

Answer 4

Your dad is about 95% correct. There are people of the opposite sex that can be good friends. However, most of the time a friendship can blossom into something else. The guy may not be actively keeping one on the back burner, but the possiblility is always there.

Answer 5

I'm told that every man you have met has, at some time, thought about sleeping with you, but i think thats normal. You don't get put on the back burner. I think everyone, even men, put people into categories in their minds. Like this woman is friend material or sister material. Then there are some girls that probably stay in the "I want to sleep with" category.

Answer 6

I have a friend who was married. She had a guy friend. One day he took her by surprise and raped her. She was shocked and mortified. She could never imagine that would happen with him. I feel if one is going to associate alone with a man or boy they could be asking for trouble. In the Vedas it is said that a girl should not be alone with a man including her brother or father. I know that sounds extreme but so many people get molested by family members. If they where not alone it probably would not of happened.

Answer 7

My best friend (a male) of 10 years is just my friend and vice versa; It would be too weird to have anything more between us.

Plus I don't think my husband would approve. lol.

So; No it's definately not true!

Answer 8

That is not true
Sarah, she had been my friend for 22 years, we met in 4th grade and she really been the best friend ever, I went with my wife, and she went for her husband, we are just perfect friend, and we have always been there for each other

Answer 9

yes your dad is right its always in the back of their mnd that is unless they perfer men and are simply looking for a friend

Answer 10

your dad wants to protect you so if you are in that situation be careful. not all guys are that way but your dad may see something you don't be careful.