what do you think when you see a young mother with 2 children?

Question

I am 25 and have 2 children (6 & 1), people seem to either look at me in disgust as if to say"there's a double baby bonus" or act like I am invisable! I know other mothers 20+ who get the same treatment. The thing is I dress my kids and myself very neatly and conservatively fashionable, own a home in a popular middle-class suburb, a modern car, and have a husband who works hard as an engineer to support us, while I have returned to studies as a law student. People see me and assume I am single and on welfare and that I do not own a car( forget a home) or have any goals. Obviously I do not CARE about what people think but I am very curious to know what you think when you see someone like me and why you think it?

Answer 1

In my heart I smile and think back when I had 2 young daughters going with me every where I went. If I saw you three you would get a loving big smile from me.

You young mothers just smile at these old grumps and don't let them bother you. They are unhappy people and if they can't smile at a 1 yr. old and a 6 yr. old, they've got cold hearts. The heathen are raging nowadays; they are impatient, driving crazy and their hearts are growing cold. They want everything and they want it now and don't get in their way or you will get hurt. It is best to leave the people that you are talking about totally alone. Don't mess with them, just smile.

Answer 2

I have the same problem. I'm 20 and I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. Me and their father have been together for 5 years now and we plan on getting married soon. I graduated from high school and I will be attending college in the very near future. After I graduate from college I plan on getting my teaching credentials and becoming a history teacher. He (my boyfriend) has his own business at the age of 21. We also live in a very nice house in a upscale neighborhood. We have two nice cars and we are not struggling or living pay check to pay check. I get the looks that you are talking about also. Sometimes it bothers me. The majority of the time I just brush it off and chuckle inside knowing that I am probably happier and more financially stable than they are. I guess these looks result from the young mom stereotype. I think we should just be happy that we are the exception of that stereotype, but I do have to admit I have friends who are also young moms and I can only say that one of them is a really good mom. It sucks that people like us have to get the backlash of that stereotype, but I guess that's life. You can't please everyone. Just hold your head up high and be proud of the life that you lead, and I would like to congratulate you on not falling into that stereotype.

Answer 3

Want to know what I honestly think? How sad are culture is compared to trible cultures.

I really mean that. We have such poor structures, if any, to be supportive of women raising children alone.

And this is something that would not even be difficult if we still lived in trible cultures, where people all support each other, instead of all alone and separate like this one.

Like Hillary Clinton said, It takes a village...to raise a child.

We had better get our heads out of the sand and start doing something!

And begin by realizing not all cultures and beliefs are built on the Patriarchal idea of Man as head of Family.

Nor do men or women necessarily want it to be! Today!

Answer 4

People think the worst because it is not the normal situation when a woman has 2 children at 20 they usually are young women with 2 kids and 2 baby daddies on welfare I was. but people should not look down on girl that have it hard like that,i graduated from high school and went on to become a nurse. I was not a loose girl i was naive and both "boys" told me they wanted to marry me and bought me an engagement ring but we were just too young and it didn't work out. even though i was in that situation i still find myself thinking "she is a loose girl" because it is so many girls that are but i remember myself struggling to take care of my boys and do better with my life and i remember you can't say all young women with children are "hood rats" and "welfare moms" and they need help and love and guidance to do better.

Answer 5

I would think that you know what you want in life, and that you had a good head on your shoulders. Since you started your family before you reached the age of 38 or 40, probably you and your husband are mature, happy well-adjusted people. I am a 55 year old grandmother of a 5 year old girl, and I am very proud of my son and his wife for not delaying their real family life forever. I have one friend who had her first and only child at age 41. What are people think of these days? Those people you are talking about are jealous of you. Probably they are 70 with no grandchildren at all yet!

Answer 6

I think, "hey cool, nice kids" and then I continue on my own business.

In fact, I'm sure most people will do the same thing. In this world, I don't think any normal person has the time or the energy to go around judging other people, in fact, people are more concerned about themselves (like when I'm getting to sleep).

Those who do try to judge you, though, they really have no life (and way too much spare time).

So lighten up, the world is a big place, and in the world, everyone lives in their own little world too.

Answer 7

Weird. I tend to look at the children, not the mother. I mean, babies make eye contact, grown ups don't usually, especially a mother with two infants. But I sure as heck don't make any value judgments on the mother, even though I don't think it suits me as a lifestyle. I wouldn't mind adopting a ready-made toilet trained kid and raising a fine human being, but they're not exactly giving them away.

Answer 8

I try not to generalize, I go places alone, mostly by choice. I sometimes wonder (if people think) ...Why is that guy eating alone or walking alone... "everyone" else is in pairs or groups...
I prefer to be alone!

I can come and go as I please- and meet or avoid people I don't want to associate or communicate with.

My advise; Don't even think about what others may be thinking!

They know less than you do and are more often than not- In far more dire straits. Don't assume what others are thinking!

Answer 9

wow 25 is a young mother???

gee willikas...

I thought you were about to tell us that you were 18 with three kids...

when I see a woman and kids... actually any age of woman with kids... I dont pass judgement based on her age... or even if the kids are neat and tidy... (i have had five and know all too well that neat tidy is only a wish mothers have sometimes)..... but rather if I bother to make a judgement it is based on how she handles herself and her children....

mostly though when I see a mum with young kids I think... poor thing...

Answer 10

Actually there are so many out there it would be absurd to take time to try and think about them.
You really must be rather paranoid or self absorbed to think that everybody is taking time out to ascertain your financial situation . . . welfare or not.
Reality check > we are way too busy with our lives to be analyzing yours just from seeing you.

You DON'T care what others think ? BS - you seem totally obsessed with it ! Your whole page is dedicated to it . . . and you are majorly defensive about it.
Chill out, guess what . . . 99% of us barely see you let alone take time to have that whole blown out opinion.
OK, yes you are often invisible as are most humans .
Welcome to planet earth, it has NOTHING to do with the 2 kids.