What do i do to save my friendship?

Question

my so called best friend has not been acting like a best friend lately. My birthday was in august and she blew me off..she had a kinda fit her mom said and i was kinda hurt by that...
i have been trying to talk to her on myspace since we dont go to the same school anymore and i never get a response back..
well today i did b/c i told her we needed to talk and i am suppose to call her tomorrow...
how do i tell her that im feeling hurt and that her friendship means a lot...i've never had to do anything like this with any friend and i don't know how to approach it...
do i just go straight into it or just talk about casual stuff first...
i'm scared of what might happen and i would be very sad if we could not be friends anymore...
What do i do?

Answer 1

Write down all of your feelings on a piece of paper. Try to keep it brief because you want to reference this later as you're having the conversation w/her. When you call her, begin the conversation letting her know how much the friendship means to you. *Then* you can share your hurt feelings. It is best not to use "you" a lot because you don't want her to get defensive if she feels like you're putting a finger at her and blaming her for things. Use "I feel" more than "you," referencing your list of feelings about the incidents that happened. Odds are she didn't even realize that she hurt you in any way.

As far as whether you'll be friends or not -- good friends can talk things out. If she is involved w/new people at her school or has moved on, this may be something you have to accept. The great thing about life is that sometimes a friend seems to go away or the friendship is over, but you reconnect later. I've experienced this a lot.

Answer 2

Just ask her where she has been, if she had been busy, or why she doesn't talk to you more often. You can say that you miss her and tell her not to forget about you, all these in a mild way, don't show anger, just joke and don't be scared.
Your birthday is important, and it's a pitty she didn't act the way you wanted, but never forget her own birthday; show her friend will always be there for her. If your relationship means a lot to her too, then you shouldn't be afraid of losing her. If, on the other hand, she 's feeling she can't keep talking to you since you 're not in the same school anymore, or for any other reason, just don't be sad. You have made efforts, you have tried, then there's nothing else to do. She will regret cutting you off someday, and if she needs you, make sure you will still be there for her.
My opinion is that she should be grateful for having such a good friend, a person who cares about saving the friendship; if she can't understand, then she doesn't deserve you.

Answer 3

Tell her the same way the you are telling us, if she is truly your friend she will listen to what you have to say. Don't beat around the bush, go straight to your point. Maybe ask her how she has been doing because you haven't gotten to chat in a while. And then just tell her that you feel like the two of you are growing apart, and that you cherish your friendship, but there are some things that the two of you need to discuss, then go right into it. I think that everything will be fine, once you get started you will know exactly what to say. Good luck!!

Answer 4

Tell her everything you just said!!!! And leave room for whats bothering her to be talked about. Maybe her feelings got hurt and you don't even realize it. When you talk to her just start by asking how things are going for her and then start telling her you miss your friendship with her, the other stuff you said, and then ask her if something has upset her or what.
YOU SOUND LIKE A REALLY GOOD FRIEND THAT ANYONE WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE! Best of luck!

Answer 5

I would just tell her what you just said: That her friendship means a lot to you and you feel it drifting a way, ask her what can you do to make it right again. But you know, she is the one that blow you off, are you sure you want friends like that? I wouldn't, you need someone that is going to be with you during good times and bad...Someone that is nor judgmental..Is there something that your not telling? There are so many people that would love to be a close friend to you, give it a chance to be one. Best wishes.

Answer 6

You need to remember that friendships are two way deals and that it's not your behavior that has caused the rift. If you conclude the price of her friendship is too high (you do all the work and get none of the benefits) you may have to cool it a bit. Don't burn any bridges and she may come 'round later.
For now, be straightforward and let her know you are hurt and what she's done that caused the hurt. Tell her also, how much she means to you. Be honest, gentle, and firm, and you'll do well.

Answer 7

Straight talk is best, but you have to ask yourself... To what end am I having this conversation?

Perhaps it will be good for you to find out what she's been up to - chances are, she's made some new friends and assumes that you have also. If that is the case, then I'm glad that you're opening that door again.

If your pleasant conversation stops and goes nowhere, you'll just have to buckle down and find yourself some new friends - hey it's not that bad! You have a choice!!!

Have fun sweetie. Good luck.

Answer 8

I suggest that it would be the best to be straight-forward with this situation. Ask her if everything is okay with her, because she hasn't been acting like herself lately. If she still refuses to face the problem, then the answer is clear: she has no interest in staying friends any more, and you should move on. It takes two to save any relationship. If she's not willing to, then there is nothing else to it.

Answer 9

not diggin the advice so far - its not all about you. sometimes its about them and you hv to be a friend and figure it out, not jump in me me me. but these are things most don't learn for a long time, if ever.

my advice is to start the conversation off by not putting her on the defense,, as soon as you say " i hv never had this happen" or "i FEEL hurt by your actions" people put the wall up and don't hear anything you say... most immediately go to a place mentally listing "well i've been so effin busy with - and who are you to be making me feel bad!"

a good way to start it out is say - hey chica!!! i miss you!! what is going on in your life - hv you been doing ok, etc ... make it about her. she is not dumb. she knows she has been blowing you off.

once you break down the autodefense she already has in place cuz she KNOWS you're going to as her wtf? she will relax. then after you hear about her life ((at first she'll say nothing, you may need to work it out of her in case she feels guilty you care)) and once you hear how her life has been - likely she'll say she didn't want to bug you with it,, figured you were busy with new friends, or whatever.

if she is a good friend, put your needs second and find out what has been on her mind, going on in her life, and then tell her you understand -- but you are her friend and want to be there to support her thru anything!! to keep you in the loop, your friendship means too much for her to withdraw -- that you are friends thru good times and not so good.

good luck and happy new year (=

Answer 10

well for starters u dont want to talk casual. u need to jump to it just say to her i wanna no y u never talk to me that much and y u hardly respond to me on myspace. and also ask her y she had a fit on her b-day. believe me if shes ur best friend she will tell u.