english teachers!!?

Question

please please please proofread this for me!

As a junior in high school, I felt I had my whole life figured out. It was the 2006 school year; I had one more year left of high school and one more year until I turned 18. I thought I would be free and all my decisions would have been already made and the only thing left to do was to follow through with my plans. At the time, my plan was to own my own daycare. I was planning on going to a large university to obtain a masters degree in business administration. Little did I know everything was about to change.
Near the end of the year, I received a notice telling me to go meet with my guidance counselor. At the meeting, I was reminded about something my school called the Business Academy. This was a program I entered in 8th grade. When the program was introduced to us in the middle school, it seemed like a good idea to join because you could take courses in high school that give you college credits. So I went in for an interview and was

accepted into the Academy. As my freshman, sophomore and junior year passed me by, I had totally forgotten about the Academy. So here I was, sitting in my guidance counselors office totally dumbfounded. Apparently, I had only taken once course within the academy and I needed 3 more, including an internship.

After setting up my schedule with more business classes, I now had to set up an internship. Since I was so sure I wanted to own my own daycare, I decided to do an internship at the Fisher Price East Aurora Community Nursery. After being accepted at the daycare, I soon started my first day. As a teacher’s assistant 4 days a week, I worked one on one with the children. I was there to teach them, help them grow individually and as a group. I mostly worked with 18 – 24 month old children, but occasionally substituted in a younger class and an older 4-year-old class. The internship lasted 2 months, and during this period I learned more about myself than I would have ever thought possible. I always knew I loved little children, but I had no idea how much I loved helping them discover and mature.

My cousin Dawn also worked at the nursery as an administrative assistant. After shadowing and interviewing her, I realized I did not want to take on her daily tasks. Bookkeeping, janitorial duties and countless meetings were not what interested me. I was interested in being in the classroom.

At the end of the internship, I was invited to come back when I turned 18 to become a full-time paid teachers assistant. As I am still 17, I have never looked forward to anything more in my life. I realized that being an early childhood educator was now my dream, and my goal. In the beginning of my senior year, I applied only to schools with an Early Childhood Education (Birth - 2) program. I now plan on working at the nursery when I turn 18 while still earning my degree in hopes of someday earning a regular teachers wage.

If it were not for the Business Academy, I could have made a big mistake. While I once thought ownership of a daycare was the road I wanted to take in my life, I soon learned that I wanted to be a teacher. The internship introduced to me by the Academy taught me more about myself than any other course I have ever taken.

Answer 1

Fine up to the additional part:

accepted into the Academy. As my freshman, sophomore and junior year(s) passed me by, I had totally forgotten about the Academy. So here I was, sitting in my guidance counselor(')s office(,) totally dumbfounded. Apparently, I had only taken on(c)e course within the a(A)cademy and I needed 3(three) more, including an internship

The corrections are in parentheses - I think they are evident.


Part 2

Some minor points in the added parts:

I was there to teach them, help them grow individually and as a group. Take out comma, insert "and"

younger class and an older 4-year-old class. The internship lasted 2 months, Good practice for more formal writing is to use the written form for numbers through ten and then use numerals from 11 on. This includes compounds, so make it a four-year old class and two months.

As I am still 17, I have never looked forward to anything more in my life Not really wrong, and perhaps just my personal preference, but I would use "Since" as the first word.

earning my degree in hopes of someday earning a regular teachers wage. Use "teacher's wage" - it's possessive.

Good formatting, good choices of words, excellent composition. Very well written

Answer 2

sounds good!