theres this guy that i LOVE. but me and him havent met in person and he lives 500 miles away and hes 21 years older than me. he keeps trying to get me to tell him what role i want him to play in my life he said "friend boyfriend husband lover brother what ever." with him living 500 miles away and me having a high sex drive i dont want to call him my BF. he starts work this month so me and him would meet in person but im going to south africa (he doesnt want me to change my plans for him) but if i dont change my plans me and him might not be together in person for a long time and i cant not be with him. HELP!!!! why do i have totell him what role i want him to play? Why the hell did he mention husband?
any advice and input is appreciated.
2007-01-03 13:23:18 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
im 18
ill be 19 january 21
2007-01-03 13:38:18 · update #1
What in the name of all things sacred??????????
2007-01-03 13:26:24 · answer #1 · answered by Scott M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so young yet and he had some what of a full life, You have to enjoy your life before you think about settling down with some one 21 years older than you, If you had met him and dated him then if you said you loved him, Then OK ..... but just talking and not really knowing him. Well there's a lot more too this. Go ahead live your life you have lots and lots of time for a loving relationship later on.
2007-01-03 14:14:59 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ Becky ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...if someone else wrote what you wrote, can you honestly say that you would not tell them that this person is not for them? You do not mention your age - but your question reads like someone who has their whole life ahead of them...with lots and lots of wonderful. A man that is 21 years older than you has already experienced that kind of wonderful...and will not want to repeat it with/for you....he only wants one thing from you....go to South Africa, live your life and wish him well with his. You will know the right person when they come along, 'cause you won't have a single question in your mind about him, or what to do...'cause it will be right for you :)
2007-01-03 13:32:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's a friend.
the guy is 21 years older - have you ever wondered WHY he's talking to you? i'm not saying you are too young, but why can't he find a woman at least 10 years older than you? and have you questioned why you're even talking to him instead of being out living your life? for you, now is the time to enjoy yourself (SAFELY). when you get older, then consider being tied down.
you should never change your plans for anyone. you only live life once. go enjoy!
2007-01-03 13:29:07 · answer #4 · answered by jacq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to know where he stands in your life. That's why yuo have to tell him. He wants to know where you see your relationship going. He doesn't want to be waiting for you with no hope of there not being a relationship when you return. He wants to know how far you are willing and READY to take the relationship.
The only advice I have is you'd better just stick it out for the time being because since you have no clue as to WHY he asked you what role he is to play in your life (to top it off you didn't ask HIM what he meant you asked an online message board of total strangers what he meant), you're not mature/ready for much more.
2007-01-03 13:29:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That last person is nuts. Anyway,
You need to get way from this guy and fast. How old are you, by the way? I don't mean what I say to be offensive, but this guy should not be pursuing you if you are young - something like what he is asking you is not of, I say, and I guess swear by at this point, you never should talk to this man again -- I'm worried and scared. No good, my friend. Even if it feels like it might be good, don't do it.
2007-01-03 13:36:32 · answer #6 · answered by itsjustfoolishness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest actually meeting this person before you make any plans to be in each others' lives. You may not like him at all in person. Playing a "role" in someone's life doesn't sound like a relationship. It sounds like you're simply a side dish.
2007-01-03 13:28:18 · answer #7 · answered by SlapHappy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you love someone you've never met? Are you saying that you have to have sex with other men so you don't want to call him your BF and commit to him? How can you love him then? Also, by saying he'll be anything you want him to be it sounds like he's trying to trap you. I know you said he doesn't want you to change your plans for him but that could be his way of manipulating you. Please be careful.
2007-01-03 13:42:31 · answer #8 · answered by alandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
21 years older than you and he is so absent of confidence that he says hes wiling to be what you want him to be.
Sorry, but he cant do it. I guess he must be 40-something right?
If he is going to be something else then what exactly are you in love with?
If we are not comfortable with ourselves and enjoy being what we are then what hope do you have of making someone happy?
2007-01-03 13:28:40 · answer #9 · answered by philip_jones2003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing this is an internet relationship. I've never been in one and I don't know how it would work or how you could love them. So I can't help you here.
2007-01-03 13:26:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've read enough.....he's not a 'keeper'. Have fun in South Africa.
2007-01-03 13:25:27 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋