How do I get over him.....?

Question

Well im currently in a relationship but before I started going out with my boyfriend I was seeing this one guy who I fell in love with. We were never an actual couple but i fell for him eventhough he told me since day one that he did not want a relationship. I still went out with him wishing that one day he would fall in love with me but it never happened. So I came across my boyfriend and developed feelings for him. But i still cant get over the other guy. I get so depressed because i feel like im lying to my bf. I think that if the other guy were to tell me to get back with him I probably would. But when I was with him he was seeing other girls and it really hurt me. I didnt want to be in that type of relationship cause it wasnt healthy foe me. However dispite everything that the other guy did I still cant forget about him. Its so hard cause theres times when im with my bf and think about the other guy. I dont want to keep on doing this to him. Please help me get over the other guy.

Answer 1

dont you have any respect for your self or your partner? this "other guy" has made himself quite clear and you should respect that at least. Just suppose your present partner finds out that he is and always has been "second best" or last choice, How do you suppose he would feel? If there is absolutely NO CHANCE of a relationship with this old flame then ignore it. eventually it will subside. You are putting yourself "on offer" for this guy, give yourself a little more respect. as others have said move on. When we take someone into our hearts and they are torn away they leave a huge wound. Wounds heal if you dont keep picking at them. Give yourself time and as much space as you can from this old flame, and your wound will heal too. More importantly enjoy the love and affection that your present partner shows you because that is real, not imagined.

Answer 2

Girl, that sounds like a situation I use to be in. I really really fell for this guy, left my bf and everything. Then he told ma he had someone else. I felt so decieved but still I wanted him and tried everything in my power to make him mine. He moved out of atate and use to come see me and we would kick it. But I met someone else, I realized that the other guy was just a chase.
He was someone that I couldn't have and that really bothered me cause I usually always get what I want.

When you realize that you really just want this guy beacuse you can't have him you will be fine.
If he called you tomorrow and said "baby I want you and I want you to come to me now."
You would go and everything would be great at first but then you would realize damn, this aint what I want what was I thinking.
Just move on know that you aint going to be with the other guy, and if you do it will only be temporary. Just totally put him out of your mind, throw away his number, e-mail address anything that you have that ties you to him get rid of. You will question your self the whole time you are doing it but it will help you.. I promise.. : }

Hope you can get over him and I was some help..

Answer 3

Blankness, you didn't completely close the door on your previous relationship so it was unfair to open the door on a new one. Sadly I think you are holding on to something that you should be letting go of. For some reason he was unable to see the wonderful qualities that you posess and appreciate them enough to want to commit to you. But don't you see now you are doing the same thing to someone else? Your present boyfriend has been better to you, but you are still holding on to someone who wouldn't "hold it down" with you. I think this is a time that you should be alone. It's not fair to be in a relationship with someone and secretly dreaming of someone else. You need to figure out why you let someone so unworthy put a hold on you and then shake it off.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, sometimes, our chemistry plays tricks on us, and no matter how much you know better, you still want the other dude. This might just go on for a while without you being able to do much about it...but try to tell yourself, maybe you just want him 'cause he did not want you, maybe it's this confidence thing that you are hurt because he chose others...remind yourself that he did hurt you by seeing other girls, and that the guy you're with now does not do any of those things...try to value yourself more, more self respect, girl!!!
Try to put some space between the other guy and yourself. Avoid the places he goes to.
Good luck!

Answer 5

What you need to do is remember the good times you had with your ex and embrace them, but let them go so you can work on the relationship you do have, this is a grieving period, but use your head and realize one is out of reach, while you still have another that really cares for you. You are very young I take it, but you may find yourself in and out of love many times over before the perfect mr. right comes along and let it be on your terms, do not settle for less than you feel you are worth.

Answer 6

First off girl you need to get some self respect. How can you allow yourself to feel so much for someone who obviously never cared for you in the first place? You need to push this guy as far out of your mind as you can unless you just want to be a doormat for him. It is wrong as hell the way you are treating your boyfriend.

Answer 7

i think, that maybe didstance from this guy migh help.
unless you pine for him even more, then maybe you and your current boyfriend arent "meant to be".
or you could maybe tell your other boyfriend how you're feeling, so you wont feel so bad, but that could lead to some bad stuff.

Answer 8

its a tough one ....something similar happen to me too....what helped me was moving on and ignoring the guy..i know its hard it just takes time..hang on there

Answer 9

find someone else