I am wondering what others think. My husband of almost 10 years (and we have been together for 15 years) left me, moved into my best friends house, and is still currently there. At first he didn't care about me seeing other people, but now he says he does and shows some interest in getting back with me, but not totally yet. I don't understand what he is waiting for. He says he is confused and wants to make sure the feelings he is having are for real. We have two children together and he does see them faithfully. I have offered to go to counseling, but he says he doesn't know if he wants to because what if it doesn't work? Is he really confused about his feelings for me?
2007-01-03 13:12:23 · 22 answers · asked by mlhjerp2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
THIS EX_BEST FRIEND IS FEMALE!!!!
2007-01-03 13:21:25 · update #1
i hate to break this to you, but he's made his decision. move on.
what he's doing right now is keeping you hanging on so he can see what's out there. then if he thinks he can't do better than you, he'll come back......for some time..... until it happens again.
he needs more than counseling - he needs a set. and you KNOW what i'm talking about.
your marriage should be about the two of you. no matter how good it gets or how bad it gets, it's should be good and bad together (my husband says that - kewl, huh?) if it's not, then you need to move on.
go out and start your new life! don't tell him - he lost the privilege of knowing anything about that when he left you. find a real man. they are still out there.
best of luck to ya!
2007-01-03 13:37:33 · answer #1 · answered by jacq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't know if he wants to because what if it DOESN'T work? That is the strangest thing I've ever read. There is no risk involved with counselling- it will better both of you regardless of what the outcome is. My gut says he's more afraid of it working. Why is he living with your best friend? Why is your best friend allowing this? Is she having an affair with him?
Ask him if he's "done" with your relationship. If he's not, then counselling can help. Perhaps he needs counselling on his own. Either way, get yourself into counselling so you can at least make healthy decision no matter how things turn out.
2007-01-03 21:23:14 · answer #2 · answered by Peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is having feelings again then first of all...He needs to move out of your best friend's house. He needs to go to counseling if he really wants it to work. If he doesn't go for you then he obviously doesn't care. Don't wait around on him live your life as if he isn't coming back. Maybe he'll see that you're not waiting around on him and re think somethings.
2007-01-03 21:18:40 · answer #3 · answered by harvem2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your ex-"friend" say about this? Look in all honesty, your marriage can be saved. My husband left and stayed with a co-worker. In a short time he freaked and wanted to come home. It was a long journey back because I also contemplated dating, and that really turned his head. He didn't want to lose me. I actually filed for divorce which really expedited his return home. That's when the real work began. But we are working on things.
2007-01-03 22:01:50 · answer #4 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why r u seeing other people? and why would he move in with you best friend and not one of his own guy friends. I think you both need counseling. and if that dose not work you keep on going to counseling and make sure when you file for divorce you get the kids and he pays child support. I think he is sleeping with your best friend and has been for sometime now.
2007-01-03 21:29:04 · answer #5 · answered by cindy b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as if he wants to keep you hanging around in case him and your friend don't work out. He may be confused about his feelings but not for the reasons he wants you to believe. I would say he is using you and l would make it very clear to him that he either decides asap what he wants or you will not be waiting around for him. You need to be happy too and you do not need to be played which l honestly believe he is doing. He may love you, l really don't know but l don't think that he knows either. Best of luck to you and Happy New Year
2007-01-03 21:25:08 · answer #6 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like hubby needs Jesus to wack him with a big stick! Focuse on yourself and the kids. Keep an open mind and heart, but dont push or even talk to him about your marriage. If this is going to work, it will. Take care of your mental state and show your kids that you are strong. Sometimes you really dont know what you've got till its gone
2007-01-03 22:40:14 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that he's stringing you along. Banging your bestfriend and trying to bed you too. Don't fall for this ok. Just move on with your life and start seeing others. He burned you once do you really want him back..if you take him back whats not to say he'll not do this again to you but leave you more of a mess then you are now hun...
If you really need to chat to someone contact me we can talk and stuff.
2007-01-03 21:26:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moved into your best friends house male or female? yes he sound confused because if you agree to go to counceling and he don't because he don't know if it will work he is full of s*** let him continue to see his kids and you move on and get a life. He need some soul searching to do.
2007-01-03 21:17:14 · answer #9 · answered by miss out spoken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you two have been together for 15 years he should know if he loves you and wants you but it could be he didn't know how much he missed you till another man came around threading to take you away but if he has been with your friends and still is i would keep seeing other men till he steps up and decided on what he really wants cant have your cake and eat it to
2007-01-03 21:23:49 · answer #10 · answered by jwinsett 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋