I am not sure if I can write really good can you judge this and tell me if you think I need to improve and how

Question

Here is a sample

How can I improve?

Later on that day as I got on the bus, I looked for a seat. I didnt know anyone but Tremir on my bus so I sat in the front by myself with Solange. I put my bookbag one the seat and Solange sat right by me and looked at her cell phone, we just got to a new school who is she going to call? I dont know but she was calling someone. I took out my notebook and began to draw the scenry around me but it was a dark and lonely picture just like I was feeling, dark and Lonely only that was by my side as I guided myself and my sister through this whole changing schools thing.

Yeah, it does come natural to me . I write what I am thinking about at that moment and dont waist a second.

I am thirteen (more of my work can be seen on Bwboard.net/

As in she sat by herself in the seat but her sister is right next to her....

I dont have to be perfect all the time

Answer 1

You say you are only 13. For a 13 year old this passage is quite good. I would advise that you read more novels to improve grammer and vocabulary as well as to explore the literary devices used by authors.

Answer 2

it really depends on how old you are so I can't say you write good or bad. but it sound nice.

Plus there are so many type of writer so not everyone is going to think you're a good writer even you're the best writer ever. because like eating, I like chocolate and you might hate chocolate so different people likes different style of food and so is that applied to writing.

how can you improved:

keep writing and keep reading. reading on the author that you like the style of writing.

I don't know how old you are but you can take writing class outside or read about how to be a writer book at bookstore or liberary and even has magnizes about writer.

regardless what other think, you can be a good writer if you keep trying, I think you seem already have what it take. so keep trying, your dream will come true.

also try ehow.com

good lucks, I use to thought of being a writer too. now still yes, but I think I want to be a good person first before a good writer so that's what I am more focus on.

be confident in yourself. even if 99% people tell you that you're sucks, that is okay.

you write because You enjoy it and as long you enjoy it and you like your writing then that's most important.

not for others,..but be sure to write positive things about life, not to use "writing" negatively.

because words is very powerful tool, it can make a big difference on someone's life but also destory someone too.

Answer 3

First, "really good" is incorrect. Learn grammar. Before you can break the rules, you need to know what the rules are.

"by myself with Solange"? If you were with Solange, you weren't by yourself.

Also, the paragraph is very disjointed. It's like a shotgun blast. Your thoughts are all over the place. You need to focus.

Answer 4

kinda sounds like a diary with explicit detail to me....may be think more along the lines of mixing your thoughts of the day with a little poetry and immagination. I do think your some what of a natural though.I sense that writing comes easy to you? If so , you might be on to something here. Good luck.

Answer 5

"I am not sure if I can write really good can you judge this and tell me if you think I need to improve and how..."

If I can write well. not good.

That's all I have to say.

Answer 6

you're missing some commas and you have a few on run sentences.

Answer 7

its good

maybe use more adjectives (descriptive words)