If everyone tells you......?

Question

to just not think about it while trying to conceive.......how do you do that? Seriously, we have been trying for 3 years and people say, "just don't think about it." Honest answers please from others in this situation, how do you stop yourself from always thinking, pondering, wondering and hoping?

Answer 1

I totally understand where you're coming from.
My husband and I tried(unsuccessfully) for 5 years, and we heard everything under the sun from " just don't think about it" "light some candles, have a bottle of wine"(that one came from my Fertility Doctor), to "when God feels it's time" (my personal favourite).

It is irritating as hell.. people who have never been in that situation have no clue how to react. Some women can just smell a certain way and get pregnant, and others can't no matter how hard they try.
We have since adopted 2 absolutely gorgeous little boys, and the stress of getting pregnant is gone, but the stress of raising children is worse..lol
The truth is while you are ttc, there is nothing else you can think about, and that can lead to disappointment every month(it happened to us many times). The only thing I can tell you is to not let it rule your life, as hard as it may be. After the last round of fertility treatment, we decided to stop and look into adoption. it was the best thing we have ever done, and we couldn't love our boys anymore then if I carried them myself.

I do wish you and your husband all the best.
(BTW, after 10 years of infertility.. I had a blood test today to confirm if I am in fact pregnant!!)

Answer 2

I really hate when people say to "Just relax." We've been trying to conceive for over 2 years now and so far I have not been able to not think about it. Unless you're actually dealing with infertility then I don't think you understand what a difficult thing it is. I know stress can cause problems. Some people suggest taking a vacation, that is really the only way I can think that it would take my mind off of it. For me I know that I'm going to think about it but I really try and not stress over it too much. I've started charting my temperatures which I feel has given me a little control in understanding what's happening with my body. I really wish there was an easy way to just forget about it.

Answer 3

I guess what they mean is not to forget, but to not let it cause you anxiety and stress, though that is hard too when you have tried so long. They say it as it is a known fact that stress is a major cause of not getting pregnant or losing the baby in miscarriage. We tried to take a month off from "trying" to see if nature would make things work. It certainly took the pressure off us both and made sex fun again. (If actually was on a month like this that we concieved) So Keep on trying, just take time out to have some fun, at least or you will both get too stressed. If you have had no success after 2 years you should really seek medical advice.
Hope things work out for you soon.
Have Fun!

Answer 4

You're right, it is easier said than done. And it is usually easier said become the person hasn't experienced it. We tried to conceived for almost 5 years before going through IVF successfully and the process of getting pregnant basically consumed my life; I was obssessed by it. That said, in retrospect try to get out and do things with one another to remind yourselves that your life is more than you trying to conceive. Will you stop thinking about, probably only momentarily, but at least you are trying to do things in the now while waiting for the future what if.

Hang in there and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

In reality you NEVER stop thinking about it, if you forgot about it how would you know when you ovulated?? I'm in the same situation we started trying and i had a miscariage people would say silly things like 'it was for the best'. now we have been trying for another 18 months and people say to "relax" how can you relax when you have idiots telling you that. people who say these things have never had the experience and don't reserve the right to comment. if you didn't think, wonder and hope then you wouldn't wouldn't be 'trying'.

Answer 6

Try not to think about conceiving during intercourse. Just try to enjoy yourself while being intimate with your significant other. Stop worrying yourself about getting pregnant because you are only delaying the situation. When you stop worrying about it and stressing out about it, you will end up pregnant before you know it. Good Luck

Answer 7

I don't know how you can "just not think about it." I think the important thing is to not stress about it. I've heard of many women who try for a long time to get pregnant, charting their temps, using OPK's and don't get pregnant. The minute they say "we're taking a break," they get pregnant.

Have you tried Preseed yet? I used it and got pregnant right away. Of course I had only been trying for two months. I know of other women who had been trying for a year and got pregnant the first month they used it.

Answer 8

I understand exactly how you feel, I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years also and I am constantly thinking about it. I finally went to my OBGYN to get help, I am on my 3rd month with Clomid. I feel more hopeful about getting pregnant now that I am doing something about it, but I still think about it everyday.
Just make sure that you let yourself cry and talk about it out loud, just getting it out helps don't hold your feelings inside.
I'll pray for you.

Answer 9

it's hard not to believe me, but be careful, if you try too hard you will eventually give up, so if you really want one just keep trying, like for instance, if you're using fertilityfriend.com then don't forget to record your temperatures every morning at the exact same time, you will eventually get pregnant if you keep up with that and buy some at home ovulation tests. go to www.thepregnancyplace.com hope that helps out some.

Answer 10

I have been hoping for the past 16 months and it sucks and is very hard not to think about..... I dont have an answer for u because thats all I think about