can a nasty controlling wife drive her husband to cheat on her?

Question

say theres a man that was married for 7yrs with a child.he loves his child and wife very much and trys everything emotionally and financially to keep his wife happy.the more he gives/trys the meaner she gets.after 7yrs he gets a e-mail from a old gf.this gf gives him the attention and understanding his wife does not.he leaves his wife for the gf.he is overwhelmed with guilt and trys to comit suicide but at the last min. decides not to for his sons sake.this man then proceeds to give his wife everything house,cars,all the money he has in the bank and gets 2 jobs to make sure his son can keep his lifestyle.so here are my questions:is he a decent guy that tryed to make his marrage work but got temped by a hot sexy blond that was good at manipulation and gave him the love his marrage was missing.or is he just a snake that knew what he was doing and if he was that unhappy in his marrage he should have left before he cheated on his wife.

Answer 1

Oh my. Everyone is going to have a different opinion on this, but for the most part, people cheat because they are weak and think they can get away with it. Then when they get caught, they realize what they've done and want the former person back and sometimes it's too late for that. The honorable thing to do, if someone is that tempted, is to leave the marriage, close the door, and then pursue whatever sort of happiness they think they can find. Cheating on a person leaves the other person wrecked and destroyed. Don't do that to a person. It's heartless.

Answer 2

He showed remorse and guilt for what he did, so I see that as a good thing.

There are girls out there who do not care if a guy has a wife, and some girls only go for married men, and some girls just love interfering and breaking up relationships.

What you also need to be aware of is that he was trying and trying to make her happy. If she kept being angry and mean, then it would have made him feel like crap and that he failed. Then along comes a woman who is nice and talks to him and makes him feel wanted. So he talks to her for a while and she manipulates him into bed. He just wanted to feel special again.

If she is still with this guy, then due to her aggression or temper, then they should go to marriage counselling. She has to change or he will leave for good. He sounds like the type that will be there for the child, but there is only so much of her crap he can take.

Answer 3

In my opinion you really should have just got out of the marriage because some of us do have a conscience and usually it's at that time that we see them being so nice and back to the way they were when we married them at first that the guilt of what was done starts to kick in. I Can't call you a snake in the grass that's why married couples really need to stay close to God because there is so much temptation out here till it's unreal but you just have to be strong enough not to answer that call when it comes knocking. All i can say is you need to really think about the vows you made and ask yourself are you really happy although everyday isn't gonna be a bed of roses but you don't need to be in a situation that you're unhappy in because that causes you to wanna find happiness some where else and thinking of self when you have people that you're hurting in the process. So seek professional help and do all that you can to save your marriage and at least you've tried and won't feel guilty if it doesn't work. And never let the devil con you into thinking that you're life is worth nothing because you're right you have your son to think about and that's worth living for because he is gonna need his dad. So just have faith and put God first and everything else in your life will fall into place. God Bless!

Answer 4

No one can drive anyone to have an affair. Everything one does in life is a choice, and we are the only ones that can make those choices for ourselves. I do believe there are women out there that are masters at manipulating married men into having affairs because they get a high out of being able to get the guy to have sex outside of his marriage. These are typical women who have severe mental problems in addition to their poor self esteem. This may or may not be the case with the couple in question. If what you say is all true, then it sounds like the couple in question complete fell off the wagon as far as communication was concerned. He allowed his wife to behave in a way that was unacceptable, but he didn't call her on the carpet for it either and request that the two get into counselling to work it out or express to her that he was at the brink of having an affair as a result of the way he was feeling. The affair will always be 100% his fault and he'll have to live with that, but the problems within the marriage are 50/50 and both of them have to take responsibility for that. The thing you have to do, however, is look at what was going on in the man's life and see if there were any major life changes happening to him that would have altered his thinking... in that case, he just may be 100% responsible for what happened.

Beside those facts, no amount of nastiness could get me to cheat on my husband, so the fact that cheating was even on his radar of actions that were acceptable says something poor about his character.

Answer 5

Ideally, he should have left his wife when he realized he was so unhappy. It is, after all his own honor he besmirched when he cheated. No one over the age of consent can say he was tempted past the point of sanity by another. A man can say 'no' just as loudly as a woman. I think he may have given his miserable spouse all those worldly goods in an attempt to make himself feel better. A far better deal would have been struck if he had just owned up to a dead marriage and an even distribution.

Answer 6

I would say the man is a decent Guy, and should not feel too badly about cheating, under the circumstances.It is easy for those that have not been in the man's shoes to criticize. Suicide
is never a real answer to life's problems. Put the past in the past and get the counseling needed to have a productive life now for you and your child. Never dwell on " should have ", that is past tense.

Answer 7

nicely, you ultimately have been given it there with the final sentence. definite, you may have long previous for counseling without or with your spouse. you will comprehend that in case you starve your self long adequate, you will consume out of the garbage can. it truly is merely as lots your fault because it replaced into your spouse. We continuously blame the different individual yet i'm beneficial which you weren't being some romantic intercourse pot the two. something uncomplicated got here alongside for you and you took the bait. not surprising even nonetheless it occurs. existence isn't all that puzzling. there is not something worth taking your existence over. it truly is yet another cowards way out. merely get your existence jointly for the sake of your toddlers. they only desire a Father this is satisfied and content textile with existence and himself. it truly is a shame that issues had to coach out the way that they did yet there's no turning back so which you will earnings from issues now and you're able to do this. ensure you permit your toddlers comprehend which you and their mom did not chop up up because of the fact of them that they are never to blame. Take a while stepping right into a sparkling dating and undergo in techniques that the guy you finally end up with may be the youngster's step mom and so which you will think of of them besides as your self. initiate a sparkling slate and get a splash counseling so which you do not make the comparable mistake back and back. it is not all that undesirable. %. your self up, dirt your self off and come back obtainable.

Answer 8

I think you answered your own question,if he was that unhappy,because he found out cheating just made the situation worse,cheating is never the answer,he should have left her a long time ago,now he's eaten up with guilt,looks like he tried to fix that and now that's not working,he might as well kiss his marriage goodbye and move on

Answer 9

This is a touchy subject. Don't always accept one person's side of it. I'm the victim of a "poor misunderstood husband". The other woman had no idea what this man had put me through for 23 years. Finally when I was about to call it quits, he then starts begging for forgiveness, and trying to be nice, and doing lots of "good things" for me.
I was ANGRY for a very long time. (well over a year) So, he turns to another woman. A YEAR compared to 23 crappy ones.
He couldn't "deal" with my anger, so he needed someone. After all the crap he [put me through, and admitted to it. Now he is getting counseling, and the counselor told him he had SERIOUS problems. Be careful with this one.

Answer 10

Maybe the wife should have been there for her husband so he wouldn't need someone else. Living with a cold hearted person can be hard... Very good people make wrong choices all the time!! It doesn't make the person bad!! He sounds like a decent person who just wanted to be loved...

Takes two to make one cheat!!