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My friend married her High School Sweetheart. They have three children together. He was sentenced to 20 years in prison. She feels like her children are missing a male figure in their lives.

2007-01-03 11:56:17 · 38 answers · asked by Kandi 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

38 answers

Does she love him? Isn't that what matters? When they married, they vowed to be together for better or worse.

If the children need a male figure in their life, then sign them up for big brothers and sisters.

There was a family in our church, her husband was stationed overseas for two years. Throughout this time, the pastor and his wife and children paid regular visits to the family left behind. He spent time with the boys, giving them a male figure.

If she is a member of a church, she should turn to the pastor for quidance.

2007-01-03 12:27:28 · answer #1 · answered by †♥mslamom♥† 3 · 0 0

Your friend's husband knew, or should have known, he was engaged in illegal activity that carried a sentence of or about 20 years in prison which would deprive your friend of her husband and the three children of a male figure in their lives. In most states if a husband does not reside in the home for a prescribed number of years it constitutes abandonment and entitles the wife to a divorce. If he survives prison and is released in 20 years, the children will be old enough where they no longer need a male figure in their lives, and can make their own decision as to whether or not to have him in their lives. Your friend should divorce her husband immediately since he was already sentenced, and move on with her life for her sake, as well as the sake of her three children.

2007-01-03 19:17:44 · answer #2 · answered by Venus 2 · 0 0

hello married cpl here
wed like to tel u to tel ur friend that no she should not divorce her husband bc hes sentenced to prison bc when they got married didnt they say for better or worse? well if thats the case then sorry hun this is the worst,dont u think?if she feels like her 3 children will be missing a male figure in there life why doesnt she go to her local boys/girls club they have people there that can help her children have a role model

2007-01-03 12:08:48 · answer #3 · answered by Angie 3 · 1 0

Your friend now needs to think what is best for the kids
as they are with her and not her husband. 20yrs is a long
time for the kids to be without their dad. If divorce brings
on a father figure that is willing to take the responsibilites
of a dad then again she needs to think about that, how-
ever she also needs to understand it will be difficult but
not impossible to find another mate that wants to take on
the responsibility of raising 3 kids that are not his and
she might have to play both roles for their sake. With a
good loving family and their support she can raise them
by herself as their are male figures in families that would
help. Divorce is an option that could be taken if the
mother sees that it will be better for the childrens sake.

2007-01-03 13:14:30 · answer #4 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0 0

20 years prison?
Without knowing the reason for the sentence I can't say.
Eg if he walked in on what he believed to be a rape and killed the person he believed to be the perpetrator and it turned out it wasn't a rape then he's already in a bad way and she should stand by him.(this has actually happened but that guy only got a few years).
If it was simply a crime, eg assault and battery, murder etc., then he's not fit to be a father anyway and she should leave him.
If he kills himself, tough luck! Most of us are able to live in society without committing crimes. He should have done so too.
If she really loves him then that's very tragic.
Sorry girl but sometimes you fall in love with the wrong people.

2007-01-03 12:04:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

This was not a question for you to ask, it should have been your friend asking if its crossed her mind. Getting a divorce may be the furthest thought from her mind depending on what type of marriage they had, and what the situation may be. So, let things sink in for a little while before putting more stress on her to make this decision. It won't take too long with three kids for her to make a decision that should benefit all of them, especially her.

2007-01-03 12:01:04 · answer #6 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0 0

I think divorce is very serious and should only happen when every other option has failed.

However in this instance I think the guy should want her to divorce him for the betterment of the wife and his children.

This has nothing to do with finding someone else....as a matter of fact, she shouldn't be with anyone else for a very long time. Her children need some normalcy in their lives.

2007-01-03 12:17:07 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0 0

I am sure she feels torn and sad, but she needs to be realistic. I'm sure she would like a relationship in her life and if she found a guy who was willing to be a role model for her kids, that's even better. If her husband loves her, he should realize that he can no longer fulfill the role that he signed on for when he married her. He apparently did something criminal to get that long of a sentence and one of the consequences is the loss of his family.

2007-01-03 12:01:54 · answer #8 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0 0

That is a tough question. If I was in that situation I would divorce him and find a good, decent and upstanding man to take care of me and my children. Someone doing 20 years is NOT a good role model for any child!!!!

2007-01-03 12:01:26 · answer #9 · answered by Mystic 3 · 0 0

unfastened training from my intro to corrections classification: some states and the federal government have what's stated as "determinate" sentencing. which ability if the choose delivers 8 years, you serve 8 years (we can overlook approximately stable time rules for this lecture). between the matters with determinate sentencing is there's no incentive for the criminal to act in detention center as he's conscious he's doing his 8 years no rely what. "Indeterminate" sentencing is while the choose supplies the criminal various years to serve like 8-20. this means that the detention center government have the skill to launch the criminal each time they choose after he serves the 1st 8 years, yet they might desire to launch him via the 20 3 hundred and sixty 5 days mark. Indeterminate sentencing helps the criminal to have a reason to act in detention center and attempt to reform himself (or a minimum of seem he's to the parole board) so as that he can get out of detention center as early as conceivable. of direction some offenders mess up in detention center so badly that would desire to stay till the very end of their sentences. additionally, if an criminal is released early he's positioned on parole for a quantity of time. If he messes up the parole he is going back to detention center. Thats particularly plenty the version between the two sorts of sentencing schemes. i think of you have been probable staring at an indeterminate sentence case. the information human beings get this screwed up each and every of the time.

2016-10-06 09:47:51 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

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