We've been together for two years and have a beautiful 3 month old. Yeah, I know, we jumped in without looking for sharks first!! I'm not against getting married; I can't really see myself with anyone else anymore. But we come from very different walks of life and what if he decides I'm not worth it anymore and goes back to what he knew (the streets)? I couldn't bare a divorce (it's bad enough being in love with a black man when you are a white woman AND having a child out of wedlock, but throw in a divorce on top of that and I'm done!). My parents of course say don't get married and his keeps asking if we are talking about it yet. Before I got pregnant, we were talking about it but things have changed in that time. I don't know what to do! Help!!
2007-01-03 11:40:37 · 18 answers · asked by Kam 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if u love him, and respect him, and u feel those things from him, and he is a good dad, and is good to u, than there is no reason not to marry.don't expect trouble, if there is love the rest should fall into place.
2007-01-03 11:54:32 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married. At this point now you share a child. If you're both committed to raising that child together and being together right now, then why would you need marriage? He is legally obligated to that child so should anything go awry between the two of you, that child will not be left without financial support, at least (if not more). So getting married for the sake of the child makes little sense. If the two of you are happy now and in love, then be there and enjoy it. Marriage doesn't fit in our world the way it used to, this is why there is such a high divorce rate. A great way to lowver that statistic is to not get married in the first place. Break-ups are hard enough, legal divorce is just more of a mess. So I say, don't go there.
2007-01-03 20:44:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have been asking for help before the baby and getting in this relationship so long. Now it's all up to you because things are depending on what & how the baby will be treated. You should be all about your child now that you will be totally responsible for its livlihood. Your man may not be any where around by the time the baby starts to grow and asking question, so do whatever it takes to have a happy life for you and your kid.
2007-01-03 19:56:59 · answer #3 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should get engaged. it can be a long engagement. like a trial for marriage. at the end of the day, its your life so don't be too influenced by your parents and societies views. if he is a nice man and you love eachother, and are confident that it will work, why not? this is not a decision you should make if you are too unsure but it will be good to have a close relationship with your daughters father.
2007-01-03 19:47:22 · answer #4 · answered by stafford 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are both really in love with each other and trust each other than i would get married. Just because you have a child together doesn't mean you HAVE TO get married. but if you don't have any issues in your relationship besides your different walks of life than it seems to me like a good idea. good luck to you
2007-01-03 19:45:01 · answer #5 · answered by The Spazz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you both really love each other then go for it but do it when you both are ready for marriage don't let anyone pressure you into it just because you have a child together.
2007-01-03 19:48:10 · answer #6 · answered by Momof1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him?Yes! Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?Yes! Marriage is what you make of it. Color doesn't matter. What matters is you love each other. Your love and your daughters will keep him and you on the right path. Marriage is hard but worth it.
2007-01-03 19:49:19 · answer #7 · answered by *♥♫Hedy♫♥* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you want to get married and trust me you are never done! I said that 2 kids back!
2007-01-03 19:44:22 · answer #8 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are not ready to get married then don't, no matter how much you love him. when the both of you are comfortable then you should get married, don't let anyone push you or stop you from getting married.
2007-01-03 19:46:43 · answer #9 · answered by S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ASK YOURSELF ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE,OR IS HE REALLY READY FOR IT.DON'T GET MARRIED BECAUSE OF THE CHILD.GET MARRIED FOR THE RIGHT REASONS.AND IT DON'T MATTER WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THINKS.ONLY WHAT BOTH OF YOU THINKS.AND BE HONEST WITH EACHOTHER ABOUT EVERYTHING.TALK ALL YOUR FEARS AND JOYS THROUGH ABOUT MARRIAGE.CAUSE MARRIAGE IS FOREVER,AND IT'S WONDERFUL AND BEATIFUL.TRUST,HONESTY,FAITHFULNESS,AND NO SECRETS.AND NEVER LET NO ONE COME BETWEEN YOU.
2007-01-03 19:48:35 · answer #10 · answered by ERICA S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋