HELP! Everyone answer, GUYS & GIRLS! Especially DADS OUT THERE!?

Question

Ok, well i've just found that im bisexual, and possibly more attracted to females? I mean, its no so much the sex but i find us females are more understanding and not sex orientated, well the problem that i have is how the hell do i tell my parents? I'm 16) None of my family know and im sure they dont even have a hunch because i still like girly things like shopping, makeup, it's not like i want to be a male, im happy as a female doing feminine things. Do you guys think maybe it's just a phase because of bad experiences with males..but i still have crushes on guys? HELP!
Ok, im sidetracking .. well i know my mother wouldn't have a problem with it (hopefully) but I know my dad will,... well i did find some of his magazines with lesbians... but how will he react if his daughter is one? hope there are dads out there who can answer too.
So DADS out there, how would you react?
BROTHERS too?



Thanks so much in advance.

Answer 1

To answer this, and yes, I am a father, there are a lot of things that can go into why it is that you are attracted to females. If you still have your attraction to males, as well, i would say that at your age, it is probably an experimental phase that you are going through. I have a very close friend that has two daughters that both went through it at the 14-16 range. their mother had a bi relationship for a while with another woman, so they thought it natural. I won't say it is or is not, but I will say this...

It is a choice... You were not "born gay" or "born bi". This is the most rediculous thing I have ever heard. Everything we do is a choice. Take, for example: you happen to be thirsty. There is a glass on the table in front of you that is full of water. No matter how thirsty you are, the glass of water will not move to quench your thirst until you CHOOSE to move your arm to pick it up, and Choose to drink the water in the glass. And there are consequences to your actions as well... If you do not Choose to drink, you stay thirsty, If you do choose to drink, your thirst is quenched. Therefore, if the simple act of taking a drink of water when thirsty is a choice, and there are consequences to those actions, then so is something like giving in to physical attractions, is it not? Once you realize that it is a choice to give in to those attractions you have, you can decide if it is what you wanna do. In the end, it is ultimately you, and only you, that must decide who it is that you fall in love with. Noone else can make that choice for you, no matter how much they may want to.

I do know this: The choices we make dictate the life that we lead. That is to say that you must choose this on your own. Your parents will love you even if they think you are screwing up. Oh, you are worried about your father? You are daddy's little girl, and even if he is stubborn and cruel at first, it is probably because he is used to things being a certain way. Sometimes we fathers don't react well to unexpected changes.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

This might be a phase, since I sometimes feel like, with all the jerky boys I meet, I might as well BE a lesbian! I know, though many girls though who went through a similar phase, and weren't lesbian after all. I say give yourself time, and don't make any big announcements until you get a girlfriend or know for sure what you are. If you are sure you are a lesbian, try bringing up the subject of homosexuality at home to see how your parents react. Show that you're sympathetic to gay rights, and then quietly pull your parents aside to tell them. Don't curse or yell at them. Be polite and respectful when you tell them that this is how you feel, you can't change it, and you hope they can still love you. Be prepared that the reaction might be harsh. If there is a risk to be thrown out, don't tell them until you have a place to live (like if you're renting a place for college.)

Answer 3

Well, good luck on it. I am not certain what the best advice would be for your situation. I hope you have very understanding parents and that go with the times? But not all parents cann handle such news.
Firstewall, I would create myself a support group of mutual friends whoare in your age and have a safty net there avaiable to you.
I wished in your place where you are were a Outreach Youth group like a drop in center for GLBT folks. Look in the Lavendar books in your home town. I hope it's not all to rural. But if you within citiy boundaries perhaps you're lucky.
Otherwise get in touch with a school counselor. Express your thoughts and feelings. Perhaps he/she can advice and assist you. Another thing, is it really so important that yuore parents must know of your sexual inclination? Would it be better to wait a few years, and do what you want to do and see how you feel about it later on? No harm done here with doing this rather than having angry upset parents, that will threw you out. I have seen this happening to manyu times of my friends who were gay, lesbian or bisexual. I wish you all in all good luck my friend. Try the gay, lesbian center in your town. Hope this helps!

Answer 4

If you were my daughter, and you are young enough to be (I'm 40) I would laugh and then hug you and wonder why you were so afraid of telling me. I have a daughter myself and if she ever came to me and told me she was a lesbian, I'd say "You go girl! Bring her home so I can meet her!" I would be 100% accepting and supportive in every way.

Congratulations to you for realizing at such a younger age. It sounds to me like you are bi, but lean towards women a little bit more. That you still like girly things...well, that would make you what is called a 'lipstick lesbian.'
Hey, its YOUR life, not your father's. Live it the way you feel most comfortable.

Answer 5

Not a good dad to answer you.I am not a Prude,Rude with attitude. I reciently learned that my 35 yr old daughter was Bi-active during her High School/collage years with a girl We acceppted as a Second daughter and others also. She Served her Gay boy friends as a PUMP and a pimp. Her longtime
"Friend= female - but not involved" (NOT Gay) told me about it in a late night coffee chat. 20 +- Three grand babies and 11/2 husbands later and I was not angry ,scho-cked, or even put out about it. My concern was for safetyand disease free lovers.
Mom don't know ;but she never liked any of the guys she HUNG with anyway.
Let's look at all of it first. Do Not Tell unless it becomes nessesary Discuss it negitevly with Bro's to test the water and let them tell you how they feel about others in the situation. Then test Mom with a discussion of View points of others mothers. DAD may be easier than you suspect Take him out alone and let the Dateing Subject evolve on it's own(you know it will) then tell him about your concern's of liking a certain girl in Female to Female manner but afraid of failier with it. see how he handles it the proceed to a confession OR tell him thanks for the negitive answer and you will not approach her #$% ect. Leave it alone until they need to know ,,maybe never. I know I don't discuss it with my D. It's her life in secret. I masturbate every day, she's Bi her brother is a Skin head preacher. We just don't judge each other. MO)M Does all of that with a bag of chips on the side.

Answer 6

Not sure how to answer. I am a dad of a 13 year old girl. I guess it would bother me for a bit because I really would want her to get married someday and have grandkids. But in all honesty I would get over it and accept it. I still love my child and that won't change.
But as for your decision. Are you really sure? Because it is true that you are still young and probably trying to figure out who you are. It may seem you are right now but tomorrow you never know. I only say this because the way you wrote your question it sounds as though you are still deciding for yourself?

Answer 7

i dont think you dad would care much, dads dont like the idea of a guy touching their daughter...how ever 16...what kind of experiance can you really have? no offense...but i am just surprised...because if you dont recall 3 to 4 years ago you still liked to play with barbies..so maybe you should mature a lil bit before you break any hearts, just be who you are until you can be taken seriously...because right now..your parents first thought will be to send you to theraphy...see if they can knock the gay out of you...16...haha...and women are crazier than men...all we want is some sex...good food..and quietness...women have cycles...and are way more vicious when it comes to jelousy...trust me i know lesbians..and bi sexual people ...they will kill...but...if you feel like you need to come out of the closet...as a carpet muncher...then...by all means do it..just know that later down the road..when you wake up..and figure what you really want..you would have already caused alot of pain...because while its widely accepted to be gay now a days...its still something your family doesnt expect..unless some one else already came out from your siblings...its hard...so think about it..use all that maturity you have been accumulating from your 2 3 years as a quiasy adult...and see if you can lump some cohereancy...quite honestly..im 25 and i still dont hold any of the answers...16, hey you are a kid...but do what you must...goodbye.

Answer 8

Though i am not a father, i am a gay man who has delt with a fathers reaction to being gay. I too wasnt the obvious type, im not flamboyaunt, i play sports, not too noticeable expect for my good taste in clothes ;).But anyway I think if its something that you are recognizing and aware of, than you will learn if its just a phaze or not. When my dad found out i was gay, it took him awhile to accept it. He never really talked to me about it, except in jokes, nothing serious. He would talk to my bro about it tho and he told me that in some way my dad felt like it was his fault, like he did something wrong. I would expect it to take time, for your dad to realize that its nothing he did wrong, but its just who you are.

I also want to comment on Man Of god i think his screenname is. He mention about everything being a choice, and used an example of choosing to drink a glass of water if your thirsty, and how its your choice to drink it or not. Well what happens if you dont drink it? We need water to survive, its a part of who we are. Just like, for my case atleast, being gay is a part of who i am. I dont think gay people would choose to be descriminated against, or outcasted, some even driven to suicide. If we were able to choose another way, we probably would. Good luck! i hope you find out who you are.

Answer 9

Are you sure you are bi? No offense but many girls in their teens experiment with other girls. Some do because nowadays it is hot to bi. Some do it for male attention. I don't know your case and i don't want to determine who you are by what you have written. But i think you should question your certainty for a while. Then when you are sure you are bisexual tell your parents. That's my advice to you. Good Luck, sweetie.

Answer 10

Sweetheart, i don't think your bisexual!!! Your just a female!!! I think what your feeling is comfortably. Your more comfortable around females because you can relate to each other. We feel the same feelings unlike guys. But guys feel the same as each other as well. Its just nature. Let yourself know its okay to feel the way to do, especially because your not feeling sexually attracted to females just a sense of comfort. Its just like having your best girlfriend, you can tell her anything and etc, because you all can relate to each other and you have a special feeling for each other because of the special feelings you share, but it doesn't make you bisexual.... Your okay!!!