We have a 20 months old baby but i dont feel the love, the passion for him no more. I'll be 22 and he'll be 54. things are not the way it used to be. The 12 well be 3 years toguether. I told him to leave but he dont want to. What do you think.
2007-01-03 10:57:26 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OH my god that could have been me writting this 12 years ago! Noone your age needs to be with someone that much older.Hell I;m 51 and theres no way I would want a 20 something.He is dirty ol man and your looking for a father. Live and learn and next time look for someone closer to your age & interest.And be ready for that 54 year old to pull every trick in the book to keep you (prisoner) and your child.Mine use to disable my car .steal my credit cards,tried to cancel them.took all my money,took all my clothing,tried to get me fired ,just because i wanted a divorce,Good Luck !
2007-01-03 11:08:14 · answer #1 · answered by barcan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be you or him: With that young a baby (I think 20 months is still a baby), almost nobody feels that spark! Babies take a lot of energy, and they also really tend to get in the way of the male-female relationship. And even without babies, romantic love tends to decline after 1-4 years (see http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/health/4478040.stm )
Another possibility is that you may be depressed (often another side effect of having a baby)--though your letter doesn't really say that to me. Talk to your doctor and/or a counselor.
There is a lot out on the internet about babies and their effect on relationships. Read up before you do anything rash (unless he's abusing you or the baby--then get out asap).
I'd advise giving it another year--once the kid is 3 or 4, their demands on you go down and you may start feeling some spark again. And if not, consider Ann Lander's or Dear Abby's (people credit both on the net) famous line: "Are you better off with him or without him?"
Good luck!
2007-01-03 11:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by just_curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have stayed in your league when it came to men more your age. Now you will have to deal with the consequence of him being in your life even if you do leave him because of you having his child. What where you thinking when you made that jump into a Daddy figure for a lover? It's rare that they work out after a couple of years of putting on airs about you being the most important person in their life, and doing everything it takes to keep you. It gets old once you're trapped, right?
2007-01-03 11:06:26 · answer #3 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what you thought was love was nothign but lsut for him. And the age difference makes it diffcult here. But what you need to do is have a nice talk together and tell him how you feel and if you want out tell him. And it depends who's going where or staying where is up to you'll. SO have a nice long talk and see what happens from there.
2007-01-03 11:05:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really feel this way about him, have you ever told him how you feel? It really would be unfair of you to just tell him to leave without explaining it to him why. Maybe you should just leave him but be honest with him why you are doing it. For the sake of the baby, allow him to have the right to see the child. Believe me, children even babies, need to have both parents in their lives. It would be unfair to him and your baby to just cut him out of the babies life and to cut the father out of the babies life.
2007-01-03 11:02:06 · answer #5 · answered by kerrberr95 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sounds like u got married too young.
If the flame has died and he will not leave, then u need to make plans to leave yourself.
Just pack your stuff while he is at work, go to your Momas and leave him a note.
He has to pay u child support either way.
There is a way out if u desperately want out.
Dont feel trapped .
2007-01-03 11:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if u don't love the man than do the right thing and get a divorce, before u move on with someone else. he may have been way too old for u to begin with. u married too young and now u have regrets.
2007-01-03 11:11:27 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you two should split up yea you have a kid together but he is 32 years older than you!! I mean you two are totally different! Your still young and have so much life to live..I think you should have some time with out him and well maybe find someone closer to your age.
2007-01-03 11:02:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should of been here asking your questions when they could of went something like i am 22 an dating a 54 yr. old man. than the advise given would of prob. kept you out of this mess you have created.
2007-01-03 11:02:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids or not, life is to short to stay with someone you don't love and don't want to be with. So I say move on and take care of the kid and take your time with the next relationship.
2007-01-03 13:26:23 · answer #10 · answered by aloneathome 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋