Ok , I have been dating this woman for 6 months , she is in the middle of a divorce , and I have been seperated for a while planning on divorce , everything was incredible at first , I have never wanted someone so much , or loved someone so much , she has said somethings to the same effect but has a really hard time saying that she loves me , but calls all the time , the thing is that she hasnt told anyone about me , no one that she knows , not even her kids , we have to meet at my place or out , or at her place when no kids are there , and she cant answer my calls when her kids are around , her teen daughters are even asking her questions about what is going on and she isnt telling them the truth , she says its because of the divorce but the lawyer says its ok for her to be dating , she just doesnt want the kids to have to deal with it , on top of that the ex keeps coming over to her house and leaving flowers and telling the kids he's moving back in , what should I do ?
2007-01-03 10:55:01 · 15 answers · asked by otingocni c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Back off of her or you are going to run her off! I think it is totally respectable for a women to not introduce a (boyfriend) to her children before a divorce. especially teenage daughters they are very impressionable and she does not want to look like a ho she is supposed to be a role model. I think that is great this day and time that a woman does not want her children to see her laying around with another man.
2007-01-03 12:44:31 · answer #1 · answered by kd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are getting some bad advice. I would say the same for any woman who plays 'hard to get'. Usually it's a case of 'well intentioned' people sticking their oar in. Relationships, and the forming of relationships, don't require people to 'play' anything. You need to be who you are, sell yourself in the best light, be honest. Of course you should protect yourself, and if you're the type to fall too fast then you might deliberately try and hold back a bit, but that's not a case of playing hard to get, that's just being wise and learning from past mistakes. I hate any kind of game playing in relationships, it just makes a mess of things. In your case, if you have a date with a girl and she makes excuses for the second date then it would suggest two things to me. Either the excuse is genuine, which could be the case, or she just wasn't that interested after the first date. I have rarely ever seen a girl turn down a second date with someone that they were genuinely interested in. Girls are no different from the rest of us, if they like someone they will be happy to be around them. If their is an excuse made about a second date then put things back in the hands of the girl and ask that she contacts you when she knows a good time for the second date. If you haven't heard from her within a few days then send a casual text checking that she is ok. If you don't hear from her after that then forget it. If girls weren't interested in a second date it does not reflect badly on you necessarily. Different people like different people, and you can't be what every woman wants. No man can be. There MAY be things that you could improve on, you may be giving off negative vibes in certain ways. Or you may simply be targeting the wrong kind of women to suit your best qualities. It would help if you had a female friend that you really trust who could give you some honest pointers. Whatever the case don't give up on women and don't give up on yourself. It's pointless to close any doors. It may seem like the frustration isn't worth it, but accepting defeat is just self defeating. It's not like anyone else out there will even know you have given up. You will only be hurting yourself, nobody else. I'm sure you have a lot to offer and I think it's time to stop taking the words of wisdom from your friends because they are not telling you anything that will help you.
2016-05-23 00:00:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you should have waited until you were actually divorced. It's dangerous to date while belonging to someone else by marriage. Her ex may not really deal with the divorce easily and this may cause her to break it off with you until she thinks it won't cause any harm to anyone. Her kids may not understand her dating someone else so soon after the divorce, thing can really get complicated. So, it would be better to just be friends until the storm has calm down (the divorce issue), and then see where things will take you as a couple. This includes your being divorced too.
2007-01-03 11:12:40 · answer #3 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to be going through a divorce and she already is going through one. Don't be in such a hurry to start another serious relationship. If she won't let you come over when the kids are there and doesn't tell anyone about the two of you, I'd say she's hiding something from YOU. It doesn't sound like her marriage is all that over. If she's lying to them she's probably lying to you as well. I hate to say it but, move on, you don't need anymore emotional hassle right now.
2007-01-03 11:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off Both of you are jumping into a relationship before your current one is even done.Give each other some time and space to sort things out.She's not ready to meet you in public or with her kids ? You know that's not right.Get your divorce or whatever and leave each other alone for a few months if its meant to be it will be.Try to be happy alone it can be done.A needy guy or girl is a turn off.
2007-01-03 11:10:54 · answer #5 · answered by P.Bunyun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-17 11:24:38 · answer #6 · answered by charles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious she wants best of both worlds. Tag along as long as it is not going to hurt you but do not get involved too much and be on the look out for a date who is more loyal to you. I am sure you will find one. But if the one whom u are dating is coming back clean, then accept her or just plain dump her. All the best.
2007-01-03 11:01:59 · answer #7 · answered by tnkumar1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for her divorce to go final... what you are doing is really unfair to the kids.... you've included them even when you try not to...
2007-01-03 10:59:49 · answer #8 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just date and have fun... you aren't going to meet anyone (her close friends or family) anytime soon... she's going through a divorce, and with teens...
ha, she's not about to repeat history so soon.
and to add-- sounds like you are being played, or it's a bad idea for hr to be dating while still leaglly married and going through a divorce.
2007-01-03 10:58:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you have to understand that she's going thru a divorce it's different for women then for men, she's got kids and stuff she doesn't want to look like a whore you know?
2007-01-03 10:59:49 · answer #10 · answered by graciegirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋