everything is good and i love her but i kinda get cold feet. She's waiting for me to pop the question?? I wanna pop the question, but i wanna be sure. How can i tell if she's really ready?
2007-01-03 10:42:49 · 33 answers · asked by DOC. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be an adult and talk about your future, life, goals, family plans, financial plans, children, religions, etc. etc. etc. Marriage is not a little game to "hint" about, it's a serious commitment that needs to be talked about directly in a straightforward, mature manner. Then get pre-marital counseling.
2007-01-03 10:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I can understand how you have cold feet but then again you guys have been going out for four years. Some people expect that after being together for that long, they must be doing something right and that marriage is in the near future. If you are starting to get cold feet about the marriage thing, which most people do when the time comes around, let her know how you feel. Marriage is a pretty big decision and I don't blame you for getting cold feet about it. Talk to her about... that the only way you will really know how she feels and you knows you may even feel better after talking to her.
2007-01-03 10:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by xxfallenstarxx 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is my personal opinion only, especially since I don't know you or her....4 years is crazy! What do you honestly think is going to change if you do get married? Why cold feet? The only step I might suggest for you if you are game is to move in together if you haven't already. I lived with my husband before getting engaged/married and the wedding, albeit fun, didn't change a thing between us. Examine why you are getting cold feet.
On the other hand, I also suggest you talk to her. I remember being on that side of things eagerly anticipating the ring! It was almost like he proved something to me by giving it to me. The relationship just wasn't complete without the marriage because there was always an easy out. It was the commitment that meant so much. Others definitely feel like they could be boyfriend/girlfriend/partner for the rest of their lives and be happy - kudos to them for sure, but we aren't all like that. But find out from her if it is this...or if it is a trust issue, or a self-image/self-confidence issue. Or perhaps (and these are my pet peeves) if she is just after the fairy tale wedding and isn't thinking past that to the marriage.
2007-01-03 10:50:59 · answer #3 · answered by CG 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've been with this female 4 years and don't know her, then it's not her whose not ready, it really is YOU. You need to be fair about the situation and let her know that so she can make a decision about letting go of the relationship or going on to find someone who thinks she's worthy of marriage. That's only right when it comes down to not being selfish about the time she's put into trying to show you what life would be like being married to her, let her know.
2007-01-03 11:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, do it. What's the worse thing that can happen? Divorce. But if she telling you or suggesting the Big M do it. I lost a girlfriend because I wouldn't pop the question and I have regretted it ever since. I could have been the guy she married not the other guy. good luck.
2007-01-03 11:35:50 · answer #5 · answered by david w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say if she's hinting,she's ready.But its hard to say if the hints coming from your time spent together- almost an expectation rather than truly wanting to make the commitment and seal the deal. You're the one to discern that and going from there...reflect on your history together,the depth of it and how you feel about sharing your lives,families,issues,space and everything else with this girl. The title of the house and a marriage license is only paperwork.
.
2007-01-03 10:54:55 · answer #6 · answered by justsayin... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 4 years, you should already know the answer...the question really should be, "Are YOU ready?"
take a look at your single life and and decide if you are really ready to give a lot of things up to be in a healthy productive marriage.
2007-01-03 10:48:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked about life plans before? eg: marriage, family etc?? If you have and she has been interested in the conversation or has brought it up herself, then she is genuingly interested in marriage. The bottom line is no girl who has invested four years into a relationship just wants to keep going as a partnership - they want to get married!!!! Especially if she is hinting! - Good Luck (althought I don't really think you will need it)
2007-01-03 10:54:20 · answer #8 · answered by Bebe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her and you feel that it is the right thing to do I reccomend in going ahead and popping the question. 4 years is a long time, I have only known my husband for a year now, and we have been married for 9 months and I am 6 months pregnant, and we only dated for a month before we hat married.
2007-01-03 11:03:13 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it's right, you will know. You shouldn't go into marriage with doubts b/c you will have enough of them once you are married. When you know, you will know for sure. I can't explain it.
However, she shouldn't have to be your girlfriend forever. You two really need to talk. You're at a crossroad in your relationship. Ignoring it will only make it worse. Be a man and face it head on.
Good luck to you!
2007-01-03 10:50:36 · answer #10 · answered by Josi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋