I need advice!! ASAP!?

Question

Im a single parent of 2 children, and my ex is not helping me take care of my children, or helping with daycare expenses. Well, Daycare is high! Not to mention, food, clothing. I got tired of doing everything on my own..So I put him on child support. Now he's 2 month's behind & I havent received a single payment yet, b/c he now doens't have a job! But when he did have a job he would even buy any pampers. And to top it all off, He's asking me to take him off child support & he'll just pay me. Please give me some advice!

Answer 1

He has proven he won't live up to his responsibilities. Keep the authorities involved and keep him on child support. Be persistent and insist the courts follow up.

Answer 2

I did everything on my own with my first child, even though my ex was ordered child support. I never received it or any other help from him, so here's what I did. After the divorce and a year of no payments but constant harassment to see his kid, I filed to have his parental rights terminated. After a year of no payments, the court agreed to cut his rights off since he wasn't even making an effort, and I didn't even need his signature. My son was named after him, so I paid 500 dollars for a lawyer to change his name to what I wanted, and it was granted. When he finally found out what I did, he was pissed, but I think it was better punishment than having Social Services chase him around for child support payments. You can't wring blood out of a turnip, right? Since he didn't want to live up to his responsibilities and I was doing all the child raising by myself anyways, why not be a b**** for once and just cut him off completely? Now my fiance has filed to adopt my son and he'll have a REAL father in his life. When he's in his senior years, he'll realize the mistake he made of not trying to help you raise them, and he'll realize that because of that, he won't have children visiting him in the nursing home or calling him each year at Christmas and other holidays. Don't waste your time with child support. It's pointless in cases like this and sometimes, cutting the man off from his children is the best thing you can do for them, or you'll be constantly waiting for help from someone that won't give it. Don't feel sorry for him either that he can't see his kids. If he won't help raise them, then he doesn't have the right to see them.

Answer 3

Don't be stupid, if he wasn't helping you when he wasn't on child support, what makes you think he'll change. He won't. Depending on where you are, once you remove him off of child support, you can't ever go back to put him back on it. So, just let his payments pile up, because believe it or not IRS is on your side. He'll pay without handing you a penny through them. He can't get any taxes as long as he's behind in child support. The monies will go to your payment location for the kids. He probably knows this and trying to keep you from finding out. Leave things as they are and STOP dealing with him if he's not acting right.

Answer 4

Don't take him off the child support because he'll never pay you. Keep it where it's at and have proof of what he is paying and a sure bet that the funds are getting garnished (they are garnished right??) Unfortunately, you can't make a man pay or get a job and neither can the courts. It sucks and it's not fair. I hate it too. Luckily, I'm now in a financial place where I don't have to depend on the money and we just use it as play money when, and if, we get it. Do what you can to get to that place too. Good luck! :)

Answer 5

You're going to need help from the D.A. Look in your phone book under "child support services". Bottom line is, these kids are his too and he's acting like a child. He has responsibilities. Whatever you do, don't let him off the hook. If he won't pay with a court order, why would he pay without one? The courts have the right to garnish his wages. Don't quit, don't give up! It'll piss him off but you have way too much on your plate for you to handle alone. Good luck.

Answer 6

Children are expensive. Between the two of you over the next 20 years, you will in combination spend $250,000 per kid to aged 20. If either of those children show a talent for music art, dance, etc., private lessons will add into it.... private music lessons are expensive, but a child who has talent, and is never allowed to become all he can become is sad, indeed. Absolutely do not let the guy off the hook for financial responsibility for his children, and your children..... they didn't ask to be brought into this world.... you and he decided you wanted children. As such, that is an emotional commitment as well as a financial one. If he doesn't know that, the courts need to remind him.

Answer 7

Lets be a little fair. He needs to go to the child support agency in tell them know he don't have a job. And they should stop payments, until he gets a job. Now you need to lower your life style a little? Lets face it the man you choice to be the father of your children is lazy. Don't feel bad a lot of us women do. I did. I learn-ed a long time ago to do it on my own in not complain about it. That gets you know were, but stress. And your kids don't need to hear about it. Move on. You know there father is a lazy man, in leave it at the door step. Trust me I know what you meant when you said your tired of doing everything. But sweet heart you can't do anything to motive him to do any thing. I know its a shame. But that's how it is in your saturation. Do your best in raising your kids. You can learn by feeding your mind Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger has really good books. There easy reading and right to the point. She has a really good one for you ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives. Read it. you will like it.

Answer 8

Don't listen to him. Refuse to discuss the child support with him directly , instead direct him to the agency handling it. If you dont have an agency , get one. every city has one , the CSEA .II know its hard , but the less you depend on actually getting paid right away , the better you can budget on your own income alone , however impossible that may seem . When a payment does come , it will be sweet suprise. Hang in there.

Answer 9

Whatever you do keep him on the hook . He is trying to squirm his way out of his responsibilities . What a DEAD BEAT DAD ,,,,,,,,,,, he is aware of the loop hole and knows that if you drop child support he is scott free . His lifestyle choices should not be at the expence of your small children . Those are his choices and problems for not staying employed . Let him know that he better watch his back cause the STATE IS ON HIS TAIL !!!!!!!! Since he is already in arears there is not much you can do . HANG IN THERE you need all the help you can get.

Answer 10

I tend to side with the man, but i think he's shown that he can not be relied on to keep his end of the bargain, so why should u take him off child support? i'm sure he told u he would "just pay u" when u first broke up and he hasn't. your main concern has to be taking care of your children. not him losing his job or how child support is affecting him. tell him u can't afford to go on his word anymore and that he needs to pay up or go to jail.