My fiance and i are saving money for a wedding, and a house. He recently lost his job. Now, i know that he is really wanting to get a job quick, but today he lied to me about where he was going and got a job thru a job hiring agent that he had before. Well, they take a HUGE chunk out of his paycheck, and he works late hours. I work days so i will never be able to see him. I am upset that he didn't talk to me about any of this first. I know WHY, but i can't get over the fact that he didn't tell me he was looking for a job thru them. He basically woke up one morning, told me he was going out to smoke a cigg. then came back a few hours later and said, i just came to say bye. I just got a job, and i start right now. I won't get home until 4 in the morning..bye. Never even asking me what i thought about it, or even telling me what he was doing or how much he was getting paid. Nothing. So.... do i have the right to be mad? how should i handle it?
2007-01-03 10:25:47 · 11 answers · asked by Andii 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, he should have let you know, communication is extremely important in any relationship. if his communication doesn't improve you may run into serious problems down the line.
maybe he was so stressed and desperate, he forgot to consult with you about the new job. maybe it's just a temporary job. he should be still looking for an ideal job while he's working.
2007-01-03 10:30:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying his best to help support his family! However, I do agree with you about being mad! You guys need to improve on your communication skills to improve your relationship! Maybe, he did not know that you would get upset about him going thru an agency! He thought he was doing the best thing at the time...so give him a little credit for that! But, you do need to sit down with him and discuss some things that are troubling you! I know you do not have a lot of time together but make time. When he comes home really late, wake up and discuss the issues!!!
2007-01-03 10:37:50 · answer #2 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First i think u need to consider whether u have your priorities in order. in other words, do u REALLY think saving for a Wedding and saving for a Home are equal? why spend the thousands of dollars on a ceremony when u can use that money to purchase your home??
Second. I tend to agree that he COULD have discussed his plans with u as u two are going to be married, but i think it's to his credit that he took the initiative to get out there and do something about his situation rather than spend alot of time worrying over peripheral issues (i.e. what YOU think, how much it paid, etc.) i think he has shown himself to be a MAN. The type of man who will do what he must to handle his bidness. now that can't be all bad. can it??
2007-01-03 10:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by feetal2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a man's ego won't let them talk when they are down. They just want handle their business by any means necessary. Yes he should have talked it over with you, but he probably assumed you would be pleased that he got a job so quick with all the plans you two have going. Wait until the weekend and talk it over with him in a non- accusatory way. Be real casual about it. He probably will explain his point of view and his motivations for getting that kind of job. Good Luck!
2007-01-03 10:32:59 · answer #4 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...he was dishonest about where he was going but I don't think you should be mad about it. At least he's trying to earn money to help pay for the wedding and the house. Try not to be so pushy. He shouldn't need your approval when it comes to earning a living regardless of where he works. BTW, what's wrong with the agency he is working for? Always remember he doesn't have to always work at that particular agency. Just calm down, talk to him about him being dishonest and that's it. Plan the wedding and look forward to a future together.
2007-01-03 10:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by Shay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be mad. I would tell him that you know that his heart was in the right place wanting to get another job so quickly, but that when there is a decision like this to be made, he needs to talk with you about it. If I were you I would be furious, but try to keep the anger down when talking with him about it. Good Luck :)
2007-01-03 10:30:59 · answer #6 · answered by Tracy G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to support you guys! Give him a break. Would you rather he sat around and let you earn all the money. Maybe he can look for a better job now but at least he has money coming in. Give him a break.
2007-01-03 10:29:47 · answer #7 · answered by Candy C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is just a taste of how he will be when you get married. You have a right to be mad, but it won't do any good. At least you are finding this out now and not after you're married.
2007-01-03 10:33:43 · answer #8 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men still think that their manhood is based on them bringing home a paycheck. chill out.
It's also easier to get a job while you are employed, so he can keep looking.
2007-01-03 10:33:35 · answer #9 · answered by katalah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and mine do this alot it seems, support him on the job and congradulate him be mad but not at him, dont take it out on him itll cause probs, if it comes up how you feel with him bringing it up, then put your 2 cents in but let him think you got hurt by him not discussing it not mad. if he dont bring it up then dont, just let it go, he thinks he did right so let him think that although you know diff. good luck.
tabby
2007-01-03 10:51:03 · answer #10 · answered by krazidevildog06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋