At the end of my middle school career, I had a crush on a boy a few years older than me. . . so I found out what kind of girl he liked and started acting like that. About a year later we started dating, and a year after that we broke up. Now I have a problem: I can't go back to not acting . . . I don't know if I managed to change my personality, but I don't feel like that's what happened . . . I think it's because I'm so used to thinking about what I say and do before I do it and then choosing the "right" manner in which to do it . . . but I want to stop! What do you think before you do or say something? What kind of picture, so to speak, do you have in your head of what kind of person you are? Do you have any suggestions for how I can act more like myself?
I know this sounds really dumb, but I've been trying to snap out of the "act" for some time now, and I just can't . . .
2007-01-03 09:49:49 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Pre-teen and teenage girls commonly adjust or modify their behavior, or as you put it, "acting".
This "acting" is in response to the basic need to belong, and fit in. Girls who identify themselves as "lacking" will often chose a POPULAR personality, with which they wil regularly use to interact with others of their peer group.
It is the equivalent of the "celebrity persona".
The problem is this: you cannot go back to who you were, because in your mind, you have no idea who this person is/was. And since you see yourself as now being fake, you don't know who you are NOW.
You are still holding on to the 'acting' because there are probably some traits within this personality that you actually like, or that are actually working for you--and that's okay. We first PRETEND to be someone/something before we actually become that person/thing.
You sound like you are a bit of a perfectionist, who is VERY concerned about being the right person, who says the right things, and wears the right clothes......this is commonly referred to as being a teenager!
First, choose what you like about yourself. Second, choose what you'd like to change. Write down these traits if it helps.
Next, find someone who has the traits you like (or want to be yours) and little of the ones you don't like, and have them be your mentor/teacher. Hang around them, and act as they act. It helps if there is more than one, and if they are older than you.
Continue doing this, and sooner or later you will realize that you are BECOMING someone, but not ACTING like someone. It will happen.
With age and maturity you will slowly begin to know exactly who you are.
Good Luck!
2007-01-03 12:40:16 · answer #1 · answered by firehorsegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it probably wasn't worth it. You're only in middle school. Second, you should never change yourself. Stay the way you are and let the people like you for your true personality. Those are the ones that matter, but what you need to do is just act without having to think about what you are doing. Don't try to impress someone, don't try to be a certain way just to gain approval from friends, and don't change your opinions for your friends. Just be you. Do what you want to do, not what they want.
2007-01-03 18:15:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the reason u started acting like someone else was that u wanted to impress this boy by acting just like the girl he wanted u to be. now u can't snap out of it. this could be because there is someone or something else in your life that u have to act like u are someone else to get. you may not realize it now but if u look into it u may find something or someone. it could be ur boss, a Friend, ur family, or a new person that u have feelings for but just aren't totally aware of. however don't sweat it, it could just be that u got so used to doing it that u find it natural now. if u are trying to impress another boy though, u shud just b yourself, if he doesn't love u for who u are, then u are missing out on a chance with another person who will
good luck! =]
2007-01-03 17:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by iba h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might find meditation could help. Just sit quietly and know who you are.
When you realise you're trying to be someone else, act by stopping yourself and being you.
I don't believe you can change your personality but trying to be someone else, but behaving in a certain way for so long is a habit and you've just got to break the habit.
Like with all habits, we can fall into old ways. But just stick with being the real you and you'll get there.
2007-01-03 18:13:45 · answer #4 · answered by Pat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is probably because during the time that you dated him you acquired new friends and new habits, and these new friends were acquired by acting the way you were "pretending" to be, i think you just need to hang out with people who you feel you can be yourself around, if you want to stop being like that, it shoudln't be all that hard, just realize that it's you that has to take that first step in letting people see who you really are and not who you pretend to be...and a word of advice it probly ended because u lied about who u really are on the inside, don't ever pretend to be something or someone ur not, no good will ever come of it i promise u, good luck
2007-01-03 17:53:18 · answer #5 · answered by Kollege Gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you did the first time in reverse. Practically, this means choosing a number of specific behaviors you want to change, and practice the changes you want to make. Some psychologists even recommend "imaging"--that is, coming up with an image of yourself doing a certain thing and concentrating on that image so that it becomes part of your subconscious.
2007-01-03 20:03:49 · answer #6 · answered by Ace Librarian 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just doesn't work to try to be someone you are not.
2007-01-03 17:51:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My drivers licence?
2007-01-03 17:50:55 · answer #8 · answered by Yahoo Answer Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋