i lied to my mom again....help me please?

Question

I have a problem. My mom a never asks me a question without knowing the answer so almost never get away with lying yet try to do it sometimes anways. She is very intimidating and I lie over stupid things. I get so scared. today she asked me “are u wearing ur contacts” I said yes even though I wasn’t. “if your lying tell me the truth” I said “im not” I then proceeded to “try” to get the contact out of my eye to show her. later she said she then said “if you don’t tell me the truth now, your pushing my limits” then she said “youll never get ur doll collection back if u lie about this”(I luv my collection thats been in her closet for two years now because ive never “earned them back”.)I didn’t want to admit about contacts then, because then shed say “oh so when it comes to those damn dolls youl come clean but you don’t give a **** about your own mother?”(cont...in additional details)

once again I meekly said “im not” when I got home she demanded I take out my contacts. I prodded at my eyeballs until they were bright red. I knew she knew I was lying from the start but I felt like I couldn’t admit it until she grabbed me and said “just tell me “hey mom im a ******* lier who things your ******* stupid” and so I said “I don’t think ur stupid” and well I really screwed up big time. Shes absolutely furious, I feel horrible and don’t understand why I do this to her and myself. I know need to stop. I only do this with my mom. I hadn’t done it in so long until today. Can anyone give me some advice or help?

my mom and i both therapists but my mom cant pay for weekly, so we see them monthly or so. i am pretty timid and my mom is opposite. she has anger problems, but rightfully so as i do lie a lot. thank you all for your advice. im going to finish reading them now

i tell her i try to stop lying. i didnt lie for 2 months untill today. she gave me many oppurtunities to come clean to her, but i felt like i couldnt say anything. i knew to her they were oppurtunities to come clean but to me she may as well said "your lying to me so admit it" and i felt like admitting it, but also kept hurting my eye hoping id get out of it. she always thinks i lie though to make her seem stupid or because i think shes stupid. i feel horrid. thank you all though for the help

Answer 1

Tell her exactly what you just said. Say that you find her a little demanding and frightening. She's your mom you know, she just wants what is best for you!

Answer 2

You and your mom need to find some middle ground. In the meantime, take the pressure off yourself by NOT LYING TO HER!

What's happening now is that she's expecting you to lie; you lie, even though you don't have to; she catches you in the lie, which from her standpoint makes you untrustworthy, so you get punished...and the cycle starts all over again.

But there's a bigger problem here, which is you and your mom don't communicate well. It sounds like it's more than just the usual mother-daughter stuff. Do you have an adult friend or close relative that you can talk to? Someone who can help you bridge the gap between you and your mom? Does your mom even know how she intimidates you? You're in a difficult situation, but you have to start somewhere. If you want to stop lying, you have to commit to being honest with yourself and your mom. Tell her that you love her, but find it difficult talking to her. Tell her you understand that it's difficult for her because of the lies, but you want to make things better. Ask her for her imput, but I'd suggest having someone you both trust there to help you out. Ask her if she'd consider family counseling. Let her know that you're serious.

If she doesn't respond favorably, don't go back to lying! Continue to be honest so you can regain her trust, and talk to a school counselor who may be able to help you (and your mom) get back on track.

Answer 3

yeah, here is osme good advise. Just tell the damn truth. If she says hey you wearing your inderwear today and your not say " no" if she says why the hell not then you say, " I am sorry, I just didnt feel like digging them out my hind end all day long." she might gripe for a few minutes but thats all. the next tiem you arent wearing your contacts just tell her no. if she wants to know why tell her the truth. I was in A hurry anf forgot, My eyes were hurting, I just dont like them and such and so on. She might be pissed for s econd but then hey you told the truth right. I bet you anything she may have midly irrated that you werent wearing your contacts and would have just said, I spent the money on em so you need to wear em. I bet she got so mad like that had nothing to do with the contacts but everythign to do with the fact you lied to her face when she knew good and well you were lieing.

Answer 4

Here's my questions for you (and don't lie to me...j/k)...Why do you lie to your Mom, especially about little things like wearing contacts?And why do you let your Mom make you feel like your pond scum? You said you're scared...is your Mom physically abusive?
If your Mom isn't going to hurt you, you need to sit down and tell her how you really feel. You need to let her know you're scared of her and that's why you lie, and that the things she says to you hurt. If your Mom is a threat to you, you need to seek professional help and counseling.

Answer 5

Might I suggest you start telling the truth. Admit it when you are wrong, and point out to your mom when she is also wrong, in a polite diplomatic way.

When someone yells at me, I stay calm, and point out their weakness which is their yelling. If that doesn't work, a good right hook to their jaw works wonders.

Answer 6

Are you afraid of your mother for some reason? Sounds like the both of you could use some type of counseling...

Answer 7

Your mom sounds like she has an anger problem.

Get a family psychiatrist