Husband expects me to not get along with ex husband ?!?

Question

I have two children with my ex husband. I would never want him back and I have made this clear to my new husband as well as my ex husband. I do however feel we need to get along for the sake of our daughters. I am peaceful with him and I think that's how it should be. We have no physical contact what so ever with each other, only peaceful communication. It has become a daily argument between my husband and I. I'm just curious about how other people feel about this. I think it's in the children's best interest for me and their Father to have a peaceful relationship. Someone help please ?!? I have never cheated (my husband has) I have never chased after an ex (my husband has). I have tried time & time again to sit and talk with him about this, but he continues to argue with me. I told him I have to put my children first and that's what I am trying to do. We ar honestly on the verge of divorce over this and it's so unfair to me.

I never drop the kids off or pick them up without my husband just so he will feel better about it.

Answer 1

Your children do come first and they need to see that you and their dad have a good relationship. I have a peaceful relationship with my ex as well and it is soo nice. There are times I hang up after playing nice and want to scream "I hate that man", and I have when no one is around, but the kids do need to see that you care enough about them to try to get along with their dad. It's too bad your current husband doesn't see that but you can't make him. I think you are in the right.

Answer 2

Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/l4PaM

Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.

Answer 3

I think your husband needs to get over it. Now in my situation my husband and his ex wife have no contact at all. She has tried to get my husband back and has tried to cause problems between my husband and I. She would call constantly and would leave tons of messages a day for him. It got so bad that we had to have our number changed. Every time my husband takes her to court she always wins because the judge is for the women. My husband is right and his ex wife is wrong and still gets by with stuff. We just found out that she took the kids and moved somewhere over the weekend but we was never told anything and she was suppose to give us a 60 day notice of the new address. We never talk to her if they have anything to say to each other they have to call the visitation lady and tell her what they need to say to the other parent then she will call back and forth and let them know what the other one said. We pick the kids up and drop them off at a vistation center (its a place where a lady will take the children to meet the other parent) The parents cannot be in the same room. They have different rooms that they stay in. We use to switch the kids out in public but everytime we would she would start hollering and screaming and cussing and making a fool out of herself. I told my husband that his kids didn't need to see that kind of stuff going on. But your husband better be glad that he doesn't have to go through with what we have too. I just wish that his ex wife could of been an adult about things and then we all could be friends but she'll never grow up. But tell him that you need to talk to your ex husband because it involves the kids. Good luck!

Answer 4

only a Jealous insecure quilt person would lash out and be insecure. Yes the better person will try to be friends with ex and God knows that is not easy! Try to reassure him, but do what is best for kids. He knew you had the children when he married you. He is afraid you will do what he has done! No one can make a person be faithful or cheat! That is a choice, God bless been there. It is a hard place to be !

Answer 5

Yes it is all about the kids and it is in their best interest. I commend for sticking to your guns. Tell your hubby that he should be thankful that you two can get along, as that means that you are over him. If you were still bitter towards him, then that means you still love him and are miserable without him, but thats not the case here. He is guilty for chasing after his ex, and thats why it bothers him,. cuz he thinks you feel the same about your ex as he does his. Sounds like you should be the one concerned here not him. Everything he has done here is unfair to you. So wjat now my dear? You get what you are willing to settle for.

Answer 6

The kids do come first and there is no reason why you shouldn't be civil with your ex. You two do have two kids that need to be raised in the best situation possible and having father (your ex) and mother at each others throats isn't it.

It sounds like to me that he has some issues sharing the spot light with another person.

Answer 7

I think getting along with your ex for the sake of the children is a mature and right thing to do. It seems to me that your husband is threatened because of his own bad behavior .He doesn't understand that some people are capable of doing things for the right reasons and it is unfair to you.

Answer 8

I agree with you. It is to children's interest for their parents to have an amicable divorce. Your husband's fears are due to his own actions from the past. I feel maybe some counseling might come in handy to repair issues in the marriage. Issues of insecurities can cause great damage to the relationship. Good luck.

Answer 9

Your cheating husband that chases after another woman would rather you not get along with your ex and expects you to make things harder than they have to be. Dump him, he's got issues and not thinking right in the head is one of 'em.

Answer 10

Well since he once cheated he is afraid that you will do the same. He needs to get over himself and deal with it. You both need to sit down and talk. Have him be there or go with you when you are dropping off the kids, include him. That way he can see that nothing is going on.