Why does this keep hapening to me?

Question

I'm a happy person, I have strong morals, most of my friends call me a prude. But for some reason I keep getting hit on by bisexual or lesbian women, (I get hit on a lot by men too but that doesn't bother me as much). I also keep having couples invite me to join them in bed. I always refuse, I try to be polite about it & explain that I’m in a relationship & I love my boyfriend & I'm not into that kind of thing anyway, it's aginst my beliefs. But it keeps on happening. I don't dress scandalously, I go to church, I'm nice to everyone.

This is driving me crazy!!! This has been happening to me since I was 15, but in the last three months it's gotten much, much worse. I asked my close friends & they say I'm not putting out any kind of weird vibe! Does anyone have a clue what is going on here?

I know what prude means. And they teasingly call me that. Because it took 2 months before I'd even let my boyfriend kiss me, I just take things really slow.

The people that hit on me generally tend to be perfect strangers or people that have just met me.

It bothers me because I try very hard not to get hit on, it makes me a little uncomfortable, and I get embarrassed & it shows & I don't like that.

It doesn't matter where I am this happens to me, it's happened while I was out to dinner, laying out at the lake, reading at the library, hiking, hanging with friends...I don't dress in oversized clothes, I dress very feminine I just don't like to bare my breasts to the world. I'm not that attractive, I'm well different looking.

Jeff - Better to be single then in a bad relationship, I learned that one a long time ago. I have had people approach me out of the blue, but mostly it's right after they first meet me. I like people & I strike up conversations with just about everyone. But my conversation is never sexual, that’s the odd part.

Thank you invisible you seem like a very nice person. I don't want a pic up because I'd rather not put myself up to be rated. I don't think I'm ugly, just odd looking.

I don’t' know what shoes people are bringing up, you wear a certain kind of shoe & that identifies you as a lesbian, now that is the oddest thing I've ever heard of. I wear mostly Keens sandals, heels, or hiking boots, so I don't think that's 'the shoe!' LOL!!

To address the question or comment that I might be secretly gay & that's why I take things so slow with my boyfriend. No that is not the case. I take things slow because I don't believe in sex before marriage. It's not that I don't want to touch my boyfriend or be intimate with him it's that I don't think it's right before I'm married. Trust me it's hard to keep my hands off of him & keep everything on the straight & narrow.

Answer 1

Ask the people who are hitting on you.

Answer 2

I'm not sure why you're flipping out about this. If you don't want to have gay sex or threesomes, just say no to those who ask and be flattered that they find you attractive. There is no harm in asking.

Maybe you're putting out a big gay vibe, maybe you just have dykey shoes, maybe it is all just a coincidence. Unless you ask the people who are hitting on you, then you'll never know. I mean, your friends or some strangers on a website can't tell you why you're like honey to the big gay bee.

Meanwhile, I would just let it go......... unless the issue here is that you're secretly gay and in denial so you can't help but flip out about it because it makes you worry that they are on to you. I know plenty of lesbian and bisexual women who were "good" "slow" "prudish" Christian virgins to their boyfriends and it was mostly just a lie they told themselves so they wouldn't have to deal with their sexual orientation. It's easy to go slow when you don't really want to be having sex with a guy anyway! But hey, you're the only one who knows if that is the case for you.

Answer 3

Holly cow I had no idea this was bothering you so much!! I guess I should pay more attention.

Some people will always interrupt natural loving & genuine caring as something more. It's a sad thing because people just aren't use to seeing that kind of thing anymore. And you have a heart for people & it shows. Don't let it bother you, stay firm in your answers, and you'll do fine. Plus it doesn't help that your not odd looking, your drop dead gorgeous!! LOL - Where do you get these ideas from?

Love you! Take Care I'm sure I'll see you soon!!!

Answer 4

I can relate. I'm a shy, a little prude, and I've got strong Christian morals and I'm taken for a homosexual. I think if you're a girl is who isn't putting on a strip show just to get a guy then you're seen as gay. If you're a guy who doesn't slobber over a girl when you see any skin above the ankle or below the neck then you're seen as gay.

The girls that hit on you probably pick up on those sterotypes and figure you're gay. The other people inviting you into bed are probably teasing you half-seriously because they know how uncompromising you are in your virtue.

My advice: Don't be so polite. Tell the teasers that you find their offers disgusting and that you are a good Christian girl. That will send the message. I know we're supposed to be nice Christians but sometimes you have to put your foot down when it comes to upholding godly principles.

Answer 5

all i can think of is that your body language is somehow giving people the impression that you are available and/or interested in such sexual activities..
do these people approach you out of the blue and ask for sex? or does this happen well after you have struck up a casual conversation?

anyway, you can consider it a compliment that people want you sexually, but i can certainly understand how it could get annoying..

is there any particular place that this happens? are you hanging out at bars or clubs that have some sort of sexual theme? it just doesn't seem normal for people to approach you out of the blue on the street.. lol

anyway, feel lucky that you have a boyfriend and that you are happy.. i'm sure it beats being totally single and lonely like me!

Answer 6

you may not see your self as attractive ..but the people hitting on you do..kinda of hard to tell what you look like sense all you have up is a cartoon pic.. but i can relate to that seeing how i have up a flying horse..if you live in a big city you will see more of that kind of behavior than a small town..just dont let it stress you out they are prombly just looking for some fun and liked what they saw..carry some mace though just in case you need it ..one of these nut cases may not go away when asked

Answer 7

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Answer 8

I'm gay. I get hit on by women all the time.. It's a compliment..just take it as such and laugh it off. Why does it bother you so much that you're attractive to someone?

Answer 9

You sound like a wonderful person. I think it keeps happening to you because you inner beauty shines through enhancing your outer beauty and the combination of the two makes you irresistable!

Remember, being asked beats the heck out of being ignored.

:)

Answer 10

Prude means you don't like doing anything sexual, and thats normal. If your friends call you that, they aren't real friends. And there probably asking you to join them in bed cause they want your 'prude' side to come out.