How do I tell my parents that I'm pregnant and I'm only 14 years old?

Question

Yes I made a mistake because I'm human. I thought the guy I dated (18 years old) loved me. My dad is strict and dominant and my mom is submissive and weak. How do I tell them I'm pregnant? My friend bought me a pregnancy test and it turned out positive 2 times. And I also have nausea. I don't have any prenatal care yet. If I do tell my parents I'm pregnant, I'm fearful of my dad that he will kick me out of the house and that my mom will support his decision. Because he has kicked my older sister out (long story) before and my mom did nothing about it. I don't know where my sister lives and I don't have her contact address, if I knew I would go live with her because she is a kind person.
I don't have any money and I'm stuck in an unloving negative home.

I see there are a lot of negative responses so I will be ignoring them. I'm only looking for constructive advice. And don't tell me you've never made a mistake before. I asked a question because I need advice, I don't need people scolding and reprimending me because I made a mistake.

By the way, to that person who was nosey looking at my other questions. I was 13 when took a pregnancy test and I turned 14 recently ok? do you want to know my social security number as well?

Thank you dancinginstarlight for being open minded and I'm sorry you had to go through that situation. I agree, no one can read the future. We just have to think what's best for ourselves.

....which is why I was asking for advice in this category.

To those people who just said to just tell my parents? You are giving me blank advice and you are repeating what I just asked. How do you really tell your parents?

Answer 1

my parents were the same way, step dad who did whatever he wanted (still does) and my mom never did anything about it. he treated me like crap and finally kicked me out jr. year of highschool with no where to go. your best bet if he does kick you out ( you have to tell them either way) is to find a shelter for teens. you can go to your local DSHS, you can also file for neglect if they do that. i wasnt smart when i got kicked out and should have filed but never did. especially since you are only 14. they should have places you can go to stay, you can talk to your counselor in school or just research it a little before you tell them so if that happens you have a plan. as far as telling them, just say it with confidence. say that you are really sorry and you made a mistake but you need help now. they can also file for statutory rape and your ex will go to jail most likely because that is against the law. if worst comes to worst and you get kicked out there are always places you can go, people who can help you. like i said, you Can file for neglect if they kick you out, and there are shelters just for teens that will help you out. just dont live on the street. when i got kicked out i lived in my car for a while and it ended up being broke into by 4 guys while i was sleeping in it one morning. thankfully another car came and scared them away but i dunno what would have happened if they had stayed. be careful and i hope everything turns out okay!


oh and dont listen to anyone calling you names or being down on you for being pregnant at 14, you dont need that! stuff happens, you arent a bad person. im so tired of all these types of posts and people just bashing the person because they are so young.

Answer 2

Ok.... so you are 14 years old got pregnant by an 18 year old and you hve a dad that is strick and a mom that goes to what the dad says...so pretty much you are living my life. I would suggest you that you talk to one of your best freinds parents that you know they will help you out and ask them if you could stay there with them and you will pay them for rent and also ask them not to say anything to your parents that you want to be responsible for you actions and you think that you are mature enough to tell them. After you have done that go talk to your parents( make sure you have a home to go to after you tell them)and tell them if you can talk to them alone in a room. Once you guys have sat down tell them that you have something to tell them and tell the everything and the truth. Once you have told them and IF they do kick you out of the house go to your friends house and get a police report or go to the police and tell them that this guy raped you and he will do time for it and also he will have to pay a lot of child support money if he doesnt stay with you and also next time be mature about and think about this getting pregnant at your age isnt so easy because you cant get a job and if you do you wont be getting a lot of money and even if you do get a job and get some money it will be hard to support the baby....GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!

[e-mail] if you need help

Answer 3

Hello,

I know this is a hard situation, but I want to let you know that you do have options if your father and mother kick you out. Legally, since you are under 18 they can't. However, there are services available to teen mothers, if you can look up your local social services and make a backup plan just in case ok? Those people are there to help you. There is transistional housing, babysitting, and many other services.

Try to sit with the parent you trust the most and tell them to begin with. Be upfront, and if you feel you are in danger have somewhere to go (a friends, ect.) until you can talk to a social worker. It isn't going to be easy, but the sooner you do it, you will feel better. Let me know if you need more help, I can help you.

Answer 4

Firstly, I would like to say how appalled I am at the judgemental responses entered so far. We have all made mistakes or errors in judgement in our lives so none of us have the right to criticise or judge.

A mistake has been made and now a plan of action is required. Unfortunately given the time of year, my first option of contacting your School Counsellor isnt option due to the holidays.

My next suggestion would be to contact a family friend or relative, someone that you feel close to and that could help you approach your mum and dad. Tell them of your situation and ask them to meet you and your mum and dad on 'neutral territory' like at a nice Cafe where you have a better chance of having an adult discussion about your situation.

Secondly you really need to visit with your GP. Im not sure of the exact rules here but Im fairly sure that despite being a minor your confidentiality must be adhered to, so there shouldnt be any chance of your GP contacting your parents. You need to get some medical advice on your situation and also the GP maybe able to refer you to a free family counselling service where you can get advice on the options available to you. Also a referral to a social worker could be useful should your parents choose to be unsupportive and request you move out of home.

Whilst you have made a very adult choice in having unprotected sex unfortunately at 14 your still somewhat of a child and therefore you need to arm yourself with all of the available resources.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Hon, there is no way that you can sugar coat this. You need to tell them the straight up truth. Be strong, and don't back down to your father. The only thing you can do is take responsibility for your actions, and maybe he'll see. It is human nature to make mistakes, but it is also human nature to cover it up. Be the stronger person.
If he does kick you out of the house, there are places for you to go, they may not be the best places, but shetlers are shelter all the same. If you have any Aunts or Uncles or Grandparents you can live with, get in contact with them.
Good luck, hon. It's going to be tough, but I know you can get throuh it.

Answer 6

well there are so many ways but unless you are willing to have a abortion there is no way around telling them...I am sorry that you have to go through this...there are so many families that want a baby and can not have one they are willing to pay all expenses and give you a place to live....if you are looking to go that way...but if you are planning on keeping the baby you have to be ready for it to be hard I had my 1st child at 18 and that was hard 2 weeks after I found out my dad died so telling my family was VERY VERY hard...I wish there was something I could say to make it easier but I can tell you that you will get through it I know it seems like the world will end(at lease it did for me) but this will only make you a stronger person you can do this have faith in yourself and trust yourself that what ever you choose you can do it....if you need to talk feel free to email me :)


wow people can be harsh reading after I answered but waterboy does have a point the guy who got you pregnant can be thrown in jail and it is up to the parents to press charges for you might want to tell him you are telling your parents before you actually tell them so he has a heads up :(everyone makes choices that they regret in life don't let anyone bring you down they too have made choices they regret but they probably didn't have the courage to ask for advice!!

Answer 7

I agree with all the answers so far you are too young to be having children but it was by your choice that you decided to become sexually active so as the saying goes you made your bed so now you have to lay in it. You do need to tell your parents that you are pregnant it could be that the results could be different as they were for your sister you can never know and you can't blame them for being mad that their 14 yr old daughter is going to make them grandparents at this early age not even out of highschool yet WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?? You could always have an abortion or give it up for adoption or try to see if you will be able to manage the baby and all the responsibilities. Let me tell you that it is not easy to have a child at such an early age.
Just because your sister is a kind person does not mean that she would want to deal with any issues regarding you going to live with her if your parents kicked you out and what would she say if you decided to go live with her and also decided to keep your baby that is more responsibilities that she would have to deal with
sorry you are in this situation but deal with it

YOU WANTED TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT AND BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE NOW ACT LIKE AN ADULT AND TELL YOUR PARENTS
YOU KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES!!

Answer 8

Maybe you could have your friends help out? or you could live with them? Many of these responses are very rude and you were just looking for advice. It's not my place to judge people, unlike the others on here.
For me, I had health problems and I ended up having an abortion. I didn't think about my health first and I wanted a 2nd child. Yup I made a mistake. Contemplating abortion was very draining for me and my spouse. I didn't know if my child would have lived or if I had a miscarriage or if I would have complications and even died. My child was also at risk for birth defects. I'm not emotionally and financially stable to take care of a child who would have been handicapped. I can't read the future and I had to think about myself. If I had complications during pregnancy or labor and died, where woul d that leave my family?
You don't need to apologize to your parents. Because it gives them the power to behave like they are currently behaving. They should apologize for their behaviors first. It sounds like your parents shouldn't even belong together.
How about writing a letter to your parents or ask your friend to tell your parents on the phone, while you are at your friends house? Do not come home until they are calmed down.
By the way, I gave you a thumbs up!
Please email me if you want to talk.

Answer 9

From this person's other questions:

What Year Did You Turn 3 Years Old?
I turned 3 in 1981

I've contemplated on getting a fetus doll after i lost my baby at 14 weeks but I found it easier to get over it without having one. But some women found comfort and started healing with a one of these dolls.
Whatever works for you is great.

I'm a woman and I've had painless births because I don't believe in "pain" and I never cussed out my spouse either.

How Do I Deal With My Wife's Jealous Issues?
Ever since I lost weight (I lost 100 pounds by working out, eating right, etc) people started telling me I look great and I look more attractive, which makes me feel good. The problem is that my wife can't handle it when people give me compliments since she wasn't used to it when I was obese. My wife is already an attractive woman and she's used to people giving her compliments and men whistling at her or what have you.

Should I Quit My Job as a Bouncer at a Strip Club for My Jealous Wife?
my wife is jealous that I work as a bouncer at a strip club. I told her it's just a job. She don't like me working around a bunch of gorgeous women. I even took a lie detector test proving I didn't even sleep with the strippers.

Ladies, How Do I Get Romantic With My Wife?

Women, Does Your Man Hate Football and Actually Helps Cooks The Thanksgiving Meal?
If so, can we borrow him?

Answer 10

Well, i could say hide it. But no. Tell them. Be prepared for the worst. If you think you'll be kicked out, set up a place to stay or live where you will get help. And get pre-natal care. That is very important. Especially at your age there is a higher chance of losing the fetus, or early delivery along with other complications. You might decide to keep or give it up. If you keep it, sue the father for child support.