Eleven year old neice intrigued by sex?

Question

I have an eleven year old niece that is highly intrigued by sex. She is very into boys and I'm fearing will be quite promiscuous once she discovers the true act of sex. Her mother is not living in the home with her, she is actually living in a halfway house due to being a meth addict. Her father laughs at her silly gestures about boys or any sexual gesture she may conduct. I find it highly nerve racking thinking that she is very near reaching her cycle time, and has not had anyone speak to her about the consequences of sex. I have sat several times talking to her about her gestures and clothing and also about the importance of knowing that she doesn't need to "fit in" to be cool. The friends she has chosen are older than herself and WAY into boys. I know there's not much I can do besides talking to her and assuring her that sex shouldn't be an option at such a young age. But does anyone have any really great idea's to limit her interest in this matter? Any help would be great

I have been the only stable female figure in her life. Her mother left her and her family when she was four years old. She doesn't have any type of relationship with her mother, and her father's relationship is very limited when it comes to her feelings.

Answer 1

she is just curious, just keep a watchful eye

Answer 2

My eleven year old step-daughter is the same way. My wife just gave birth to our first child. Guess who's doing alot of the diaper changing! Aside from qwerty's answer(he's probably a pedophile), I would use a combination of many of these answers. The police officer trick might work, but will be temporary. If you really want to prevent her from experimenting, then you must adopt her to have a more direct role in her life. Otherwise there is not much you can do. I am all for a good beating as well, but that will probably only make her resent you. A bribe might work, such as bringing her to the movies once a month for as long as she stays a virgin. She is 11 after all, you can still work on the child as the woman in her is developing.

Answer 3

I really hope that doesn't stunt her growth or anything. It may just be puppy fat. Plus, that sounds like such a lot of pressure for a ten year old! Your niece may grow up to be one very self conscious and awkward teen. I don't think it was wrong of you to tell her mother that it's not your responsibility. It's her own child, for heaven's sake! You have your own children to look after, but of course, you feel for her as well. Maybe if you could reason with your sister in law and nudge her in the family doctor's direction for some professional advice on how to deal with the situation, rather than loading this poor girl with this dieting/starving/whatever nonsense and notion that she is 'fat' and 'obese' without having seen a doctor, it'd be of some help. Hope all goes well. Good luck.

Answer 4

You shouldn't try to limit her interest in sex. Everyone is sexual, some people are just more open about it than others. You should sit her down and talk to her about ups and downs of sex. Explain that she should wait until she is in love to give herself to someone in that way. Make her really think about it without seeming like you are getting mad at her because she didn't do anything wrong. Answer any questions she has honestly and openly. If you are open about sex, it won't be so much of a mystery to her.

Answer 5

you cant STOP her from having sex, even if she is only 11. that is really young but no matter what age any girl or boy is if they have it in their minds that they are going to have sex its going to happen no matter how much you try to stop it. and being 11 and being intrigued by sex isnt all that uncommon. thats when a girl or boys bodies usually start going through changes and they get curious about everything. kids are growing up a lot faster these days, sad but true. my baby brothers are 11 and 13, im only 20 but i sure do remember what it was like when i was in middle school at 13. everyone was talking about sex, making sexual gestures, having sex or saying they were, there was a lot of pressure. i started having sex at 16 but tahts because thats when i was ready, some of my friends started at 15, my boyfriend ex gave herself to him when she was 14. the only thing you can do is teach her about SAFE sex. not abstinence. as i said once before if she has it in her mind shes gonna do it there is NO way possible to stop her unless you keep her chained to the bed all day which i dont suggest. teach her about condoms and the pill, oral sex vs intercourse (altho still dangerous with STDS much safer than actual sex), talk to her about STDS and how to prevent them. make her feel like you arent going to get angry or judge her or anything and that how she feels is compleltly okay. if you do that maybe she will think twice before hand or at the very least talk to you about it more openly and that way you can help her out. sex is out there, and yes most kids are having it younger and younger every year. but the reason so many are turning up pregnant is because parents always say sex is bad dont do it but they never explain how to do it safely so the child gets confused or gets misinformed by their friends.

Answer 6

In new recent study that new age for kids to loose there virginity is 10-11 years old. Its sad.

But why are we only preaching abstinence. No sex. Some people are going to do it no matter what.

I honestly believe we need to teach more then abstinence, but also teach about safe sex.

Show her a video about labor and delivery, also show her pictures or video of people talking about STD. If you see real pictures and videos of what both male and female parts look like with an std, it may make them think. Also there are HIV and AIDS tape out there to educate people.

I would tell her that you love her. And every time she has sex with some one she is giving them a peace of her that she can never get back. There is a lot of risk outside STD, & pregnancy.

A reputation, loss of respect, and depressing.

Sex wont give you love. You cant find love that way.

sex may feel good for the moment but its not worth it.

If it comes down to it and she is going to do what she wants, then you need to help her get on birth control and educate her to take it every day at the same time. And let her know about condoms Buy her condoms make sure she always have them.

let her know she can always come to you if she needs help.

Answer 7

Be nice and kind to her. Let her know why sex has consequences. Maybe when she knows what it is she'll be less interested in it. Besides sooner or later she's going to figure it out from one of the kids. Tell her why you shouldn't do sexual jestures like that.

About the boys you may have to speak to her girl to girl. Tell her that haveing a bf isn't what it's cracked up to be or something like that.Make sure she doesn't turn BOY CRAZY.
My mom threatened me about Boyfriends and the first boyfriend I got was when I was 16.

Answer 8

There are great books on the facts of life for her age: "Growing Up, It's A Girl Thing," "The Care and Keeping of You," and "The Period Book." Even if she thinks she's too cool to read them, you might want to take a look at them yourself. (And if you left them around, she might pick them up when she thinks no one is looking.) Seeing how they handle the subject might give you ideas of how you handle it with her. Even if it doesn't seem like it's working, it's great that you are spending time with her, to give her an alternate view of things from the one she is getting from her friends. Try to let the conversations develop casually and be two-way so they don't sound like lectures to her.

Answer 9

Try this. Do you know any female cops? Have them have a talk with her, or let her show your neice the "problem people" that are in your locality. Not only would it be good for her to talk to her about sex, but she could also talk to her about drugs. The only way you're going to help this little girl is to take her out of the atmosphere she's in now. Otherwise, she'll idolize her elder friends, and follow right in their footsteps by example. Best of luck to you.

Answer 10

try teaching her about teenage pregnancies, and how they can ruin well not ruin but let's just say interrupt the normal life lived by the majority of teens. she sounds very curious and interested about the birds and the bees. or try speaking to her father about the issue. if the situation does not improve i suggest taking custody of her, she sounds like she is in an unstable environment for a child.

Answer 11

No offense, but don't be that impossibly strict and ignorant aunt that everybody hates. It's perfectly natural for an eleven year old girl going through puberty to be interested in sex. You can't limit her interest -- just teach her the benefits of abstinence, use of condoms, birth control, STDs, etc.