i have recently split with my wife, we have 1 child?

Question

she got a bit out of control on cocanie, we split for about a month and i did not see my son for that time but the other day we met for a drink and so i could see my son.

after she left she rang me and said it feels weired not being with me and i sort of felt the same, i guess i love her still we spent new year together and had a great time, while we were split she said she was seeing someone and that got to me but i did not show it, she has gone out tonight and i know the bloke she was seeing is there, i would not normally care but as we had a good night newyears eve i do love her but its starting to do my head in.

What my question is is it worth the hassel to go through the pain again, when we split for the month i felt so free and good thing started happening, i felt so positive about life but now im back sort of involved i dont know what to do?

what would you do?

Thank you so far :)

My son is safe and has loads of love

she has not slept with this guy

i am stuck on wot to do

i might just give up on her andd get on with it!

Answer 1

I would do anything I could to protect my child.

Regardless of the reason, when you divorce and you have children, it is like throwing them in front of a speeding bus. Children of divorce have higher divorce rates, suicide rates, etc. This is proven.

What do you have to do to give your child a future? Isn't that what you want? Are you so selfish that you aren't even thinking about your son?

Is she working on her coke problem? There's a lot of things you haven't mentioned but BOTH OF YOU need to stop being so selfish and think of your child. He is your future.

FP

Answer 2

Well...when someone becomes involved in drugs like that, no matter what you think, they are not in their right mind and are not in touch with reality, I would even go as far as to say when she is under the influence she is a shell of the person you married. As long as she has drugs in her life these problems will continue to persist and never go away. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either a drug addict themselves in denial or is just plain lying to you. If you think you could get her to stop the drugs and you have enough confidence in her that she wants to put them down, walk away and never go back, than it would be worth the trouble to work out your differences. I say, call her and without giving her any information about what your motives are for asking ask her, "Do you want to give up drugs and work things out or not?" Do not be mean, angry, sarcastic or show any negative emotion in any way. She will ask you why you ask that but stay on course, do not let her distract you from what you are asking. Drug addicts do that, they will try and put smoke screens up to get your motivation behind your questions or actions before they answer you so that they know what the appropriate lie to tell you is. Be mindfull about HOW she responds to you also, ready between the lines. For example, you ask her a question, "Do you want to work things out?" She says, "Of course I do." But she does not look you in your eyes. Body language. You two are married still and she is choosing to be unfaithful even if you are split up for the time being. I don't care what women activists say or whatever special interest groups say about mother rights or any of that nonsense...she's on drugs, again, she's not in touch with reality, she has no place raising a child in that condition. If you love your child at all, take that child from her if she will not take the opportunity you give her to walk away from drugs and reconcile your marriage. Allowed her monitored visitation and any added time she wants to spend with the child insist on drug screening that way she can only see the child when she is sober. That's what I would do

Answer 3

first of all. I am going through to be an early childhood educator, which is day cares and pre schools.

I want to own day cares.

so I know the laws about this stuff.

First of all, you need to get your son away from her, NO child should be around a druggie because it's unsafe no matter how nice the person is, drugs should NEVER be around children.

Also in court, it's almost always the mother who gets custody so you would need a damn good lawyer but since she's a crackhead you should get custody. Which is really what you need to do.

I'm really worried about your son..honestly it's not about being nice to your wife, it's about putting the child where his best interest is taken into account on everything.

All I have to say, is you need to get a 2 bedroom apartment or house and get custody of your son because he should not be around drugs....

Also know that Children's Services can be pulled into it and he can be taken away from both of you, so you should probably get your act together and hers...

Answer 4

thats what you think she probably has slept with the guy do you really think she would tell you otherwise it dose not matter if baby gets all the love in the world honey they also deserve to have parents that are sober free from any drug. cocaine is not a easy habit to kick and there is no casual usage either read up on it and think if it is fair for your baby to be cheated and yes the child is at risk ask any agency that deals with it good luck

Answer 5

Most important thing is your childs safty.I think befor getting back togther you should spend as much time with your child and try working on being friends and getting her the help she needs.You should tell her that you loved being with her and see how she feels.If she is still out there dating then that should tell you somthing about where her head is at.If she is dating cause she doesnt know how you feel then you need to tell her,its not her fault for dating if she doesnt know how u feel.

Answer 6

A tough situation... First and I sorry... I have a few questions: Are drugs still an issue with your wife? Is the child safe? If these are not an issue anymore then if you are still feeling that it can work again... try it but only if both parties are committed to the relationship.

Answer 7

I'd be more concerned about her drug use than the other guy at this point. I think you should work on putting your own life back together - without her. Also, you need to make sure she's not putting your son in danger. You may need to seek custody of him.

Answer 8

If she had a cocaine probably than your son should be with you instead of her. Do not go back to her. Theres more loveable woman out there than a druggy woman. Whatever you do i hope you make the right choice. Good luck.

Answer 9

Tough question. Learn to love and honor yourself, to accept yourself without judgment. If you can do that, you can accept her without judgment..but not without evaluation. She is doing "her thing". You have to ask yourself if you want to live with "her thing"...if that means living with someone who is addicted to cocaine. You know such a life presents many problems. Is she willing to go into rehab? Are you willing to support her through rehab? If rehab is the answer, it takes a lot of counseling for her...and for you. As far as your kid is concerned, think seriously about taking custody of the child...living with a cocaine addicted mother can only lead to danger. You are in for a rough road and you have my support. Good luck.

Answer 10

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