yesterday my father past away. He was a heart transplant recipent. The donors family stated they did not want us to know who they were but because my brother was doing his residency at the hospital we were able to find out. It has been almost 13 years and I would like to write the familya letter thanking them for 13 wonderful years we had w/ my dad. Do you think I should or do you think this would be to painful for the family as a part of their loved one has died(again) too. the donor was a 15 year old boy who commited suicied.
2007-01-03 08:43:42 · 5 answers · asked by GI 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
we did write in the obit that we want to thank the family of theorgan donor who gave us 13 more wonderful years w/ our father. we did not of course mention any names. And my brother just so you know did not illegally get their name he was on the donantion recovery team. He did not know until he got to the hospital it was going to his father.
2007-01-03 09:26:45 · update #1
Since your brother illegally obtained the donor information, I would NOT write the family a letter.
It may make you feel better, but it might anger and upset the donor's family.
Respect their wishes and leave them alone. If you want you could send a letter of thanks to the transplant team for the work they did and the 13 extra years.
I'm so sorry about your loss.
2007-01-03 08:50:54 · answer #1 · answered by Gem 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. Your family was certainly blessed to have 13 additional years with him through donation. I certainly understand your desire to write the family and thank them, that's very kind of you. I would want to do the same. But, I think you should leave it alone, for the reasons you already stated, i.e., their desire to remain anonymous and the pain it may cause them. I've thought about how I would feel if I were the donor's parents and really think I wouldn't want to know. Bless your heart, take care.
2007-01-03 16:58:46 · answer #2 · answered by leslie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a hard one...
Personally if I didnt want to remember that my son killed himself, knowing that his heart gave another family 13 years would actually bring me to peace with the situation.... but you never know how the family feels.
Id say its been long enough that its not fresh on their minds, and a short, sweet card would be nice.
I am interested to see what other people say.
2007-01-03 16:50:22 · answer #3 · answered by Soon2BMommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I think you violated their rights- they requested to keep their identity private and you found it. By writing to them you are letting them know that you violated thier only request.
2007-01-03 16:50:35 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea write to them
2007-01-03 16:52:52 · answer #5 · answered by sad 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋